I Think I’m Gonna Start Cutting My Intake From 500 To 300 Because The Food Guilt Is Becoming Too Much

Update on the sushi situation from last night, I did end up eating it and something else which I deeply regret although if my calculations were right with the sushi I did stay under 500 cals. I hate how easily I gave into desire, I feel like I have no discipline whatsoever. To make up for breaking my fast early I’m going to fast for the entire weekend and maybe Monday, and work out even harder. God I hate myself.

Broke my fast even though I wasn’t hungry, gave up 2 seconds into my workout and found out that due to binging and being a lazy fuck like I am tonight losertown estimates I’ll be at my ugw on the 10th of July, a whole month later than I had planned to reach it.

I want to die, I am constantly miserable and everyday I get closer and closer to genuinely just killing myself because I can’t take this. I hate my body and I hate my mind, I hate myself.

First day back restricting after a 3 day binge bender, and I plan to liquid fast for as long as possible. I don’t even know how to feel, I feel different and weird. I feel fat, I am fat, I’ve undoubtedly gained back up into the low 50kgs.

I’m so hungry but also I don’t want to eat, but also I want to eat everything but the thought of eating anything makes me feel sick. God I regret binging, I was doing so well then I had to go and fuck it up for myself and now everything feels 10x harder. I feel so lazy, it’s 3pm and I haven’t even gotten 10k steps yet.

Hopefully my mindset returns back to how it was before, and the hunger goes away.

I’m taking a break from laxatives starting tonight and I’m so anxious because they’ve been my lifeline but I gotta do what I gotta do 😔

Only .5kg away from my GW, and I actually think I’m gonna reach it this time considering besides the general temptations here and there I have no intention of binging.

My plan was to get my nails done to celebrate reaching my GW but I have to save my money, so if anyone has any other free/cheap reward ideas lmk !! 🫶

Just finished my 20k steps, did a 10 minute stretch and stayed under my 450 cal limit we are so back and I am so ready for bed.

Goodnight lovelies may tomorrow be as, if not more successful as today has been <3

Man I took 15+ laxatives last night and it has barely effected me, I fear I have developed a tolerance smh 😔

Binging has set me back so much, I’m all the way back up to basically 54kg and my mindset and discipline has crumbled. If I hadn’t binged I would be underweight and would have gotten more than 20k steps by now but alas it’s 4:30pm and I just started walking, and my endurance and motivation has gone to shit so I’ll probably only get 10k steps at best.

I know sulking won’t get me anywhere, and I’m getting back on track but it’s just so hard to deal with.

Sadly still painfully bloated y’all, my mums gonna get me some medication to try flush it out but if it doesn’t work I gotta go to the doctor #prayforme

I’m actually losing my mind somebody sedate me