Broke My Fast Even Though I Wasn’t Hungry, Gave Up 2 Seconds Into My Workout And Found Out That Due

Just weighed myself for the first time since Sunday and apparently I weigh 0.1kg less than I did before I binged. Honestly I think my scale might be broken, or skinny fat has just got me in a crazy chokehold because I look way too fat to be BMI 16.3

Guys fhis is a new low, not only did I spend yesterday and today binging because I was with my friend but when I tried to purge it up just now I missed the toilet bowl and projectile vomited all over my bathroom (didn’t even get much up anyways so it was a waste of time).

I’m so done, I don’t even know what to do at this point I’m just so ashamed. I want this all to stop I want someone to help me but I can’t bring myself to ask for help because I’m too fat and not sick enough to warrant even needing any help. My only hope is death, but I don’t want to die fat, but I can’t keep living like this.

I hate myself so much I don’t feel like I’m good enough I need to be working harder, I feel like I’m so far behind and I can’t do anything right and I feel so alone.

Kind of debating raising my intake to 800 every couple days just so I can start getting some more protein in because I’m averaging like 10g at best but idk I hate change

Great news guys I didn’t get weighed at the doctors appointment but my mum did ask on the way back and proceed to tell me that it doesn’t look like I’ve lost any weight 😀

I’m actually in disbelief of how much weight I’ve managed to put on in the past couple of days, I don’t think I’ve ever looked fatter in my life like even at my highest weight so I must have managed to gain at least 5-7kg since Monday night. I’m especially concerned because I’ve already purged and taken 20+ laxatives in the past couple hours and the bloating hasn’t gone down at all so it must be legitimate weight.

I’m hoping that my laxatives kick in soon and that I’m able to digest a large amount of the binge remnants in my sleep because if I look the same tomorrow I’m genuinely gonna cancel the dinner party plans and just rot in my room and fast.

God I miss charcuterie boards

I thought I’d grown immune to laxatives but nahhh they just waited to hit at the same time

GUYS YOUR NEVER GONNA BELIEBE WHAT I GOT MY HANDS ON, A WHOLE 6 PACK OF CADBURY CHOC CHIP HOT CROSS BUNS HALLELUJAH (now I just gotta make sure not to binge on them, I think I’m gonna try give a couple away and then OMAD the rest for the next couple days)

All I wanted was to OMAD a hot cross bun but ofc they are all sold out smh😔

Y’all I can’t believe it I’m only 1.2kg away from my gw, ITS SO CLOSE I COULD VERY WELL BE AT MY GW BY EARLY NEXT WEEK WHAT