I’m Taking A Break From Laxatives Starting Tonight And I’m So Anxious Because They’ve Been My Lifeline

Y’all I can’t believe it I’m only 1.2kg away from my gw, ITS SO CLOSE I COULD VERY WELL BE AT MY GW BY EARLY NEXT WEEK WHAT

Praying that I somehow lose like a kilo and a half overnight so I can get back down to the lower end of 51kg 🙏🙏

while i am very pro-recovery, i am also very very pro bodily autonomy. many people don't get to make all the choices in their life that they wanna make. forcing someone to lose their connections (maybe like getting their acc t3rmlnat3d here) or irl, forcing someone to recover oftentimes doesn't help anyone.

instead of trying to isolate someone from a space where they feel safe, maybe take a step back and ask yourself why you feel so strongly? why do you think t3rmlnatlng an account will help anyone? @n@ **IS** a disorder. terming an account won't magically get rid of that. will making someone start a new account and start over in finding community and comfort do anyone any good?

that isn't harm reduction. i see harm reduction posts EVERYDAY in this community. sharing what supplements/vitamins, sharing healthy low c@l recipes that still give people their nutrients they need, haircare/skincare tips, etc.

i urge people who chronically try to isolate people from what an individual feels helps them, to just think for a minute about what your clear objective is.

also, to the @n@ community; PLEASE try to pay attention to selfcare/harm reduction tips that you may stumble across on here, or even google stuff like "supplements for people who dont get enough nutrients". anything like that you can think of, really.

Crazily enough I’m actually not having fun, I don’t like the stomach pain I don’t like the constantly feeling like you’re going to faint I don’t like not being able to enjoy meals I don’t like to sit with my less than child size portion of shit I don’t even really like while everyone else around me has a full plate of actually nice food I don’t like that I can’t eat normally without becoming stressed and pvrging

I hate this shit and I fucking want out anyone acting like an st4rving is fun and great and they love it is on a crazy amount of cope all day every day it’s all about food constantly trying to find ways to distract myself from it cut down on it I fucking hate it and it’s all for nothing being skinny won’t fix my shitty fucked up life

Binging has set me back so much, I’m all the way back up to basically 54kg and my mindset and discipline has crumbled. If I hadn’t binged I would be underweight and would have gotten more than 20k steps by now but alas it’s 4:30pm and I just started walking, and my endurance and motivation has gone to shit so I’ll probably only get 10k steps at best.

I know sulking won’t get me anywhere, and I’m getting back on track but it’s just so hard to deal with.

I have been so productive today omg I wrote an entire essay and already got 10k+ steps and have stayed under 400 calories so far 💪💪

Need to cut this lower belly fat off of me NYAWWW

Too depressed to get all my steps in today so I’m just gonna continue my fast, it’s not like I deserve to eat after binging so much over the weekend anyways

omfg just wasted 100 cals on an unfulfilling bland as wrap I’m gonna lose it this is why I stick to my OMAD routine

Honestly so excited for school starting tomorrow, I love the routine and it gives me something to do and think about besides my disordered eating :)