God I Want To Binge So Bad I’m Not Even Hungry But The Urges Are Killing Me I Forgot How Hard The First

Does anyone know how many calories are in a small popcorn from event cinemas? I’m getting vastly different answers from different websites

Too depressed to get all my steps in today so I’m just gonna continue my fast, it’s not like I deserve to eat after binging so much over the weekend anyways

It’s really hit me over the past couple days how much my disordered eating has taken over my life, it’s like I no longer have a personal life outside of it. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep all I can think about is food and weight, I spend my days inside rather rotting in my bed scrolling through ED content or I’m walking for hours on end, waiting for tomorrow to come to see if I’m any closer to my GW. I don’t have any hobbies and I self isolate, going days without talking to anyone besides my immediate family.

I don’t even know how to feel, it’s like I don’t feel anything at all. I’m honestly pretty ambivalent to it, in retrospect it’s depressing but like Im still fat, it’s only been 7 weeks since I relapsed and I don’t feel like I’m sick enough, I still have so far to go and so much to lose.

Ladies and gentlemen I am absoloutely thrilled to let y’all know I’ve made it back to my pre binge weight CAN I HEAR A ROUND OF APPLAUSE

Genuinely debating if I should try and kms tonight to get out of work tmr because I cannot do 6 and a half hours in that hell, if I don’t does anyone else have any ideas?

Binged really bad yesterday, was only able to purge like under a quarter of it up before my throat began to burn too much so I took a little more than 15 laxatives I think. I feel and look so disgusting, the binge wasn’t even enjoyable. I want to water fast for the next 3 days to clear my system, but theres this voice inside my head that keeps trying to get me to binge again “it’s only 1 more day” “you still have food left in the freezer you can binge on, you don’t want to waste it after spending so much money on it do you” “you can just purge it out” “if you don’t binge now you not be able to ever again” and bullshit like that. I’m not even hungry, I’m still sickly full despite purging and digesting most of it, but I just want to eat.

Binging will be the death of me, if not by physically causing me to have a heart attack then most definitely by making me kill myself.

I miss having energy I miss having a life but Im worried that even if I recover life will still feel meaningless and I’ll just end up fat doing absolutely nothing. Like my only goal in life right now is to lose weight, it feels like I will have nothing if I stop restricting.

Guys I’m actually so confused, my scales telling me I hit 51.3kg but I swear to god I don’t look it like if I look back on body checks where I was a whole kilo heavier I still looked skinnier then. My scales not broken, I put things with a bunch of different weights on it to make sure and it was accurate.

I don’t even know if I should feel happy or not, it feels fake.

HUZZAH the laxatives kicked in and it looks like I’m back down to around the 52kg mark give or take. I mean I still look fat as hell and hate myself so much for letting myself gain but the binge episode has passed and I feel more in control, more like myself.

Woke up feeling like shit but weighed myself and MY PRAYER BASICALLY CAME TRUE IM AT A NEW LW 50.4 / BMI 17.4 only 2.4kg away from my gw 😼