It’s Really Hit Me Over The Past Couple Days How Much My Disordered Eating Has Taken Over My Life,

I don’t want to go to work I just wanna sleeep ☹️☹️

My prayers have been answered I lost a kilo overnight, laxatives what would I do without you🙏🙏

Now I’m only 0.7kg away from my pre binge weight, Im gonna work my ass off today and take even more laxatives so hopefully I can lose as much if not more than I did today and wake up at a new LW !!

Going to the movies with my friend tonight so I’m just gonna have a monster until then, and OMAD a little bit of popcorn/snacks we get there and hope and pray I have enough discipline not to go overboard with it :)

Genuinely debating if I should try and kms tonight to get out of work tmr because I cannot do 6 and a half hours in that hell, if I don’t does anyone else have any ideas?

omfg just wasted 100 cals on an unfulfilling bland as wrap I’m gonna lose it this is why I stick to my OMAD routine

I binged again, to no ones surprise. I’m such a failure, not just at this but at everything in my life, this is just making me realise that more than I usually would I guess. I don’t think fasting is gonna work out for me, I have too much of a mental block from it right now so I think I’ll just go back to 400 cals a day and progressively increase the intermittent fasting hours if that makes sense. I don’t even know, I’m just itching for some sort of control, a way to prove to myself that I can do something right.

I’ve consumed 250 calories of essentially liquid, burned 330 and have taken 15+ laxatives if I don’t shit absolutely everything out of my system and wake up a kilogram lighter istg I will jump into oncoming traffic.

Why the fuck didn’t I just go to sleep I had a mini binge on fucking noodles and mini Easter eggs now I’m at roughly 800 cals for the day and I just want more

After a particularity gruelling binge last night, I am as of now officially back up to my highest weight of 57kg. A month and a half of restricting, almost 7 whole kg lost, all gained back in the span of 6 days. This feels like a nightmare that I just want to wake up from, I want it all to stop but it won’t. Im in so much pain, I just to purge it all out but I can’t because barely anything comes out when I try to make myself vomit and I have to wait until tonight to take any laxatives because I don’t want to risk shitting myself at work. I feel so alone, I just want this all to end. I dont want to lose my friends but I can’t control myself around them, not like I used to be able too. I can’t take another week of this constant binging because I’m hanging out with them every single fucking day. I just can’t do this, I don’t know what to do.

GUYS YOUR NEVER GONNA BELIEBE WHAT I GOT MY HANDS ON, A WHOLE 6 PACK OF CADBURY CHOC CHIP HOT CROSS BUNS HALLELUJAH (now I just gotta make sure not to binge on them, I think I’m gonna try give a couple away and then OMAD the rest for the next couple days)

All I wanted was to OMAD a hot cross bun but ofc they are all sold out smh😔