I Drew That While I Was Waiting For The Admission Test For University To Start. It's On The Back Of A

Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 13: Broken

All I want is to hold you. Nothing more – and nothing less. I know that when I do, I can pretend it to be us. Not just empty shells. I can pretend things to be fine, even if it is just for a moment. I can almost pretend to feel, because – I do somehow. I do remember how warm it felt to touch you, to be with you. That’s enough for me. But all you ever do, is telling me that I can’t. Telling me that it’s not true. That you can’t feel me, even when I am near to you, that it feels like a lie at best. That you don’t want me to touch you, because it makes you realize how false all of this is. How false we are. We don’t have hearts. We can’t feel. Then why does it hurt that much?

This was actually the first fill I drew for Akusaimonth. Yep, that’s the day I entered. I decided afterwards that I will do them in the right order and let that sketch be. Which was a good thing too, because it actually looked terrible. xDDD Phew, good to see that I got better at drawing those two in the last two weeks.

18 Days left.

This is one of the things I'm looking forward the most? OH YES. Roll, VenVen, roll.

@AkuSaiMonth 2022 Prompt: Whispers / Dreams ID in alt. Bingo card under the cut (3/5).

POV: You step out of the sauna to cool off, all relaxed and cozy BUT THEN you catch these two glancing at you and whispering to each other!!! D: Rude!!! >:(

… Damn, I could really use a spa day. x’D

Cosplay shooting with friends! Big thanks to the one who talked me into cosplaying as well, rather than just taking photographs and who took those cool shots then!

By the way, cosplaying Saix on conventions is great! The reaction of other Kingdom Hearts fans is always amazing. Especially the Axel cosplayer are incredible nice and cool! … Is it just me or is AkuSai getting more and more popular?

AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK Day 3: SET C - “Friends”

“Why are you doing this?“ “Because we’re friends, why else?“ “… We are?“ “What?! Sure we are! Pft, so mean! Now you have to pay for the ice cream next time!“ “What?“ “Naaah, just joking, really, don’t take everything so serious. Come on, let’s get-” “I will.“ “Huh?“ “I will buy ice cream next time. Then I’ll show you my favourite.“ “You have a favourite ice cream?“ “Just what do you take me for? An alien?“ “Naaaa~ahaha. So, which one?“ “…Sea Salt.“ “Eww, sounds gross. Maybe you are an alien after all.“ “Oh, shut up.“ “…“ “Why are you grinning all of a sudden?“ “Nothing~ Come on, Isa, let’s get moving!“

It felt great. Having a friend.

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Ira suffers so much, he feels an immense guilt over his actions, still he carries on, because he knows (was led to believe) that this is the only way to save the world. Of all of the Foretellers, he's the most selfless. He consciously acts against his personal believes and wishes in order to fulfill the higher goal. He can’t even allow himself to feel anymore, because he knows, it’d break him.

… I wish he had someone who was there for him and gave him strength when he needs it. It’s so sad to see him like that.

So yeah, this is me. Come visit me at @schluesselschwert if you feel like it. The blog is sfw and runs on a queue.

Just a warning beforehand though: It's a mess. I have waaay too many interests. I made this blog as a way to organize my likes and to add little comments on other people's works without being pushy.

So, if you happen to be in the same mess of fandoms I am or just want to see whether I'm still alive, that would be an option.

I hope all of you have a wonderful day! See you soon!

Just to make sure that you know: My main is @herzblutrose. 

I’ve had some mutuals interact with me on this blog and I just want to make sure you know who you’re dealing with in case you didn’t already. There was some reason for trying to keep this blog and my main separate originally, but it was a really stupid one. Honestly, I feel a little embarrassed/guilty for not saying anything sooner… I hope no one feels offended or anything and I’m really sorry of you do.

I'm not dead

And to proof that I have a WIP of my actual AkuSaiMonth (that is long gone, but who cares? xDD) day 22 fill for you!

(it's actually almost done, just needs a bit more ... finetuning. I love coloring with crayons (or colored pencils? I'm still not sure how to call them ö_ö), but it always takes me quiet some time.)

Nah, seriously, sorry for being so inactive, I'm quiet surprised that I still have that many followers (even more that I had before actually x'D)

I'm a bit busy lately, summer's over so now I've got time for conventions, which means, I've got to finish my cosplays x'D (I still need to do the Deadly Nadder costume I promised to my sister and the fitting Astrid Hofferson for me until mid october @_@")

My main problem though is that my Photoshop broke down. I got a bluescreen and now it's acting like I never activated it in the first place and when I'm trying to open it, it's just telling me that it's going to install the test version, Yeah great, thank you. (I am now officially desperate enough to use PS Elements on the PC in the hotel I'm working to edit my pictures; i just can't upload any unedited pictures =_=" My pride won't allow it)

Once I solved that problem there will be more pictures again, promise.

(ID in alt text)

@soulcomposer

Thanks!! Honestly, it still feels like a fever dream. I clearly remember every step involved in creating this drawing, but it feels more like I watched someone else do it?

Sometimes I look at the original and think in wonder: "Huh, I actually made this."

Sparks just like Hibana

[ID: Traditional waist-up drawing of Shionne and Alphen from Tales of Arise.Their eyes are obscured, faces very close together. Their fingers are touching ever so slightly and a coil of Shionne’s Thorns wraps around their forearms, lighting up their hands and faces. Sparks of white and orange like fire are rising from their forms. The second picture is a close-ups of their hands.]

AKUSAIMONTH 2015: BERSERK

Day 20: SET C - “Blank Stare”

Did you know? Apparently Nobodies come back into being the way they remember themselves. I think you probably do, after all the teardrops are gone from your cheeks.

So, apparently the truest vision I have of me is bleeding. I’d laugh about the irony, if it didn’t hurt so much. I keep thinking about how fast the wound scarred over last time. No such luck now, I think it’s getting infected … again. Weird, to be back in a human body, only to realize how frail it really is.

But I don’t think I have to tell you that. Still sleeping, no sign of waking up. Only because you saved me. Again.

I… well.

I know you don’t want to hear this, but … I really wish you didn’t do it. Save me. You should have just left me in the darkness. You made so many friends, and they miss you. And I … just don’t deserve to be here in your place. They’re friendly to me of course, saying any friend of yours is a friend of theirs and saying it doesn’t matter what I …Even Roxas and Xion. I can see her face now, you know.

I … I’m so sorry. And I can’t even get myself to say it. I can’t open my mouth whenever any of them are around.

I’m glad they gave us a place to stay here in the castle. With strangers living where our parents’ houses used to be, I really wouldn’t have any other idea of where to go. But it hurts to be here, in Radiant Garden. I can barely stand to look outside a window. It’s all so full of memories.

Of you. Of us.

I miss you, so much.

It hurts.

I wish I could have at least talked to you, even if just for a little bit. It’s been so long. And even longer since we talked as friends.

I know I’ve said it a hundred times, but I’m so sorry. For everything I did. I don’t know if you can hear me and I don’t know if you’d even want to listen to my side of the story. It’s not an excuse, I know that. I’m not even sure why I told you at all. I … it just hurts so much.

They tried to bully me into joining them for some ice cream again. But I can’t leave you alone. I can’t. This is the only thing I can do for you. Staying by your side, making sure you’re not alone.

Remembering.

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