I Do Not Know

Reminiscence

Do you remember...

When you stopped looking at the universe,

With your youthful curiosity and childlike wonder.

When you started repressing your emotions,

And your heart became heavy with burdens.

The day you stopped counting the stars

And you realised even the moon has scars

When you stopped holding people's hands

Figured out every smiling face isn't your friend.

When you started building these walls around you,

So strong, that nothing can ever seep through.

When you discovered the crowd isn't the place you belong,

You crave the moments where you find yourself alone.

Even when you hate the hovering loneliness.

You condone it as a price of the silence.

Do you remember....

The day you grew up?

Do you remember....

The last time you smiled without any care,

The last time you opened your heart to someone,

The last time you let the dreams cloud your vision,

The last time you felt restless from excitements,

The last time you held your love on open palms,

The last time you felt the rush of life in your veins

Do you remember...

The day you stopped living?

It doesn't matter how hard you try.

You glue them together or tie them in a knot or hold onto them for dear life;

There'll be always something that's left behind; that becomes the ghost of the past.

I feel like that ghost sometimes, desperately gasping for that one breath of life.

You patched yourself up

With little pieces of me

But can't you really see

It has left me empty

The daunting hollowness

Eating me from inside

Yet your eyes taunt

I must be guilty

What's so additive

About the pain and the heartache

That I couldn't step aside

Until pushed to the edge

I couldn't leave your side

The millions of seconds

It took me to realise

The best of your moments

Are the worst of my life

If love is supposed to heal, how come yours made me numb?

Not Mine❤️

Maybe you weren't the one for me

Maybe we weren't meant to be

But somewhere along the way

You have become a part of me

In those fickle dreams of my teenhood

In the last pages of my notebooks

In the music collection on my first iPod

There still exists a part of you

In that briefest moment of eye contact

And the goofy smile that sped up my heart

In those infinite seconds, you gave me

The simplest form of joy life could impart

I agree, you weren't meant to be mine

But in my soul, you still left an imprint

Asymptotic

A song that remained unfinished

Some words that remained unsaid

Some confessions that never made it to lips

Some emotions were left unnamed

Some secrets yours and mine

Neither shared nor hidden

We walked together, side by side

Hands entwined

Not caring about finish line

We tried to enjoy the journey

But there's something that we forgot

That we didn't have forever

That we're stringed to our fates

That pulled us opposite ways

And our love wasn't tangible enough

To bind us together in a new fate

Because our love was an asymptote

It came close enough to feel

But not enough to connect

It came close enough to touch

But not enough to osculate

Evanescence

Why does it matter that

I leave my footprints in the sand

If it can't even survive a wave of sea water...

Why does it matter that,

I leave the traces of my being

If one day,

It's going to be blown by the wind...

Why does it matter that

I inscribe my name

On a rock at the peak of that mountain

If one day,

it's going to fade with the inexorable rain...

Why does it matter that

I mark my space in the minds of others

When the memories you hold

Are not even loyal to you...

Why does it matter

That I make myself

A little more significant than others

If everything in this world

Evanesces with time anyway...

Many came before me,

Many have yet to come.

To profess a velleity,

To seek direction,

Standing right here,

Where you can see

The light of hope

Rising from the horizon.

Do you really love me?

When the mischief, that you fell in love with, evanesces from my smile,

would you still be able to love me?

When the buoyancy, that you find refreshing, vanishes from my eyes,

would you still be able to love me?

When my beauty, that captivates your eyes, fades with time,

would you still be able to love me?

When my face, that you say reflects my heart, stops Conveying emotions,

would you still be able to love me?

When the sanity, that holds me together, leaves me scattered around,

would you pick up the pieces for me?

When the darkness, that I fight to keep at bay, consumes me one day,

would you still be able to see me?

When I stand before you, lost somewhere in my mind,

would you still be able to find me?

When the baggage that I carry, slows you down in life,

would you stay back just for me?

If you're going to leave me one of those days,

then, do you really love me?