Reminiscence

Ever wondered what it feels like to breathe under the ocean; to taste the water from the grey cloud; to touch the seven colours of rainbow?

Ever wondered how it feels to live in a world where days start with shadows or exist in a void to that makes you practically weightless?

I wanna forget for a while

Forget the rules of the world

Forget about this heaviness resting on my shoulder

And the pressure around me that has already created a crack

For a while, I wanna forget

The mocking memories

I wanna close my eyes

To the terrible possibilities

For a while, I want the voices to be quite

That's the only wish I have

For a while, make me feel alive

Once there was a home

On the now empty ground

The memories abandoned

Scream in a language

Nobody can hear

A ghost in it's own land

Loses the right to be heard

Once there was a heart

Where now exists a void

And nobody noticed

As it sucked the warmth

From that beautiful smile

Stole the shine

From those bright soulful eyes

Nobody noticed

As the world became stranger

And humanity slowly died

Dark magnetic beady eyes

With one gaze, they cage your soul

Cunning smile and a youthful face

Beautiful like the silver moon

She'd look back haughtily

Unduly proud of her beauty

“The moon has scars.”

She'd say, “While I have none.”

I wonder what she thinks now that I've left her scarred with my love.

Do you really love me?

When the mischief, that you fell in love with, evanesces from my smile,

would you still be able to love me?

When the buoyancy, that you find refreshing, vanishes from my eyes,

would you still be able to love me?

When my beauty, that captivates your eyes, fades with time,

would you still be able to love me?

When my face, that you say reflects my heart, stops Conveying emotions,

would you still be able to love me?

When the sanity, that holds me together, leaves me scattered around,

would you pick up the pieces for me?

When the darkness, that I fight to keep at bay, consumes me one day,

would you still be able to see me?

When I stand before you, lost somewhere in my mind,

would you still be able to find me?

When the baggage that I carry, slows you down in life,

would you stay back just for me?

If you're going to leave me one of those days,

then, do you really love me?

Misshapen

Sometimes I feel a weird kinship

with those misshapen clay pots,

That lay discarded and forgotten.

At first like a new born baby,

It too sits on the centre of potter's wheel,

Soaking up all the attention it needs.

But as the life goes on,

And the wheel of time is spun,

Just like the clay in the hands of potter,

We are strained by the hands of humanity,

Bending to the world's whim,

Smoothing out our deformity,

To be accepted by the society.

But when after all those pottery,

We still turn out misshapen,

Just like those deformed clay pots,

We're easily discarded and forgotten.

Already lost

I don't know how I'm holding it together

The cluster of mismatched pieces

I don't know how I'm still standing

Though I am limping all the way

I know you feel those too

The anger, the frustration, the pain and all others

But why do you pass it my way?

Do you think I'm unbreakable?

I wish I was,

I wish I could take everything you give.

But I am a weak thing,

I have to battle every day just to survive

And,

Every time I have to face the reality of life

I lose it

Every time you take your anger out on me

I lose it

Every time I hear the screams of your suffering

I lose it

But you see

Even with all these factors telling me to give up

I always had a reason to fight

But now,

I can't remember it anymore.

I Had Said No

I said no.

Again and again

I said no.

Did you not hear that?

I said no.

But my words did not erect a wall of protection around me.

It's dirty, filthy touch still managed to seep through my defenses and scar my soul.

The moment it withdrew its claws,

I ran.

I ran and ran and ran.

On the way,

I bumped into a lady.

Her eyes were blindfolded

With a beam balance in one hand

And a sword in the other

I asked her to help me.

She told me that she doesn't see any sin

I repeated again

That I had said no.

But to her, my consent didn't matter

'Cause I said, "I do."

On that day at the altar.

एक सवाल आपने किया

एक हम भी करते हैं

वो राम जी हैं

जिन्हें सब आदर्श मानते हैं;

छोड कर अपने राज़ मुकूट

उन्होंने पीता का वचन निभाया

बिना भोग वीलास के

चौदा वर्ष वन में विताया;

आपने प्रेम का वंधन

जोड़ा सिर्फ़ माता सीता के साथ

मगर जब लांछन लगा उनके

चरित्र पे, छोड़ दिया उनका हाथ;

कहते हैं प्राण से बढकर

वचन है रघुवंशियों का

विवाह के सात वचनों में एक

रक्षा अपने पत्नि के सम्मान का;

क्या पत्नि से किया

वचन का कोई मान नहीं होता?

आखिर क्यों सिर्फ़ एक अच्छे

पुत्र बन ने से वो आदर्श है कहलाता?

आखिर क्यों ?

आज भी,

रामायण और महाभारत देखने पर

कुछ सवाल आते हैं

और मन को विचलित कर देते है।

क्यो माँ सीता के चरित्र पर सवाल उठाए गए ?

क्यो उन्हें अपवित्र कहा ?

भगवान राम के सामने उन्होंने अग्नी परीक्षा दी थी,

वह सब जानते थे,

फिर ऐसा क्यों हुआ ?

क्यो पाङव और कोरवो के खेल में

द्रौपदी का सौदा हुआ ?

क्यो भरी सभा में

सभी के सामने चीरहरण हुआ ?

क्यों किसी ने कुछ नहीं कहा ?

क्यो सब मौन रहे ?

वहाँ तो कृष्ण ने आकर

द्रौपदी का चीर बढा दिया था,

पर क्यो हुआ ऐसा ?

न ही सीता और द्रौपदी

त्रेता युग में और द्वापर युग में

सुरक्षित थी

और न ही आज कलयुग में सुरक्षित है ।

_______________________________________

-writingsbypb

( मैं भगवान के विरुद्ध नहीं हूँ, बस इतनी सी बात है कि क्यों ऐसा हुआ और क्या कभी इन सवालों के जवाब मिलेंगे ? )

18.11.2020 (114)

Picture - Pinterest

I was tired of this unending race

So I paused to take a breath

The exhaustion,

The weighing down emotions

I took a minute to acknowledge it all.

But when I opened my eyes again

I was stranded in a land

Lost in time

Couldn't find a soul

Be it a friend or a foe.

The world can always find ways to disappoint you, even in the things you have no expectations in.