I’m Going To Beat Myself Until I Fuck Myself Up And Piss Blood

Why do I keep seeing things that remind me of you or I would’ve sent to you if you were still here. God. I hate you so much please get out of My head

I really fucking miss you, you know. I fucking hate you. I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. Im so hurt.

I’m so fucking sad. It hasn’t even been a month so it’s expected for me to feel this way. But it’s just so unbearable. I feel so hurt and empty. We took up so much of each others time so of course I miss you. I have to stop getting mad at you or caring about what you’re doing. It’s really fucking me up.

I want you to come back to me but I also wish you were dead. I just want you out of my brain. I dont want to accept that I miss you.

I really fucking miss you

I hate that I was so attached to you. I really fucking loved you and you didn’t even love me that much. I hate you so much but I love you still

Where do I go who do I go to fuck this shit

I feel like puking i feel like I’ve just been robbed of all my love and that resulting in my hatred for romance I just . I’m so dysphoric I’m so bitter I’m so angry I just want an escape I just want someone for fucking once to love me and my imperfections and not prefer a specific fucking genital over my entire being I don’t know what to do I don’t believe anyone when they say they love me anymore because they’re fucking lying

I just want to give up on everything I fucking Hate my life I hate romance I hate sex I hate myself I hate everyone I fucking hate existing I just wish I was dead so fucking bad holy fuck I’m going to kill myself maybe that’s what I should do for my 18th birthday just blow my fucking head off

Shit doesn’t get better I’m so sick of everyone telling me that my life is genuinely horrible I need to die oh my fucking god I’m so angry at myself I just want to fucking die

I don’t know what to do im just so fucking lost

Makes me so fucking frustrated and upset “oh it could be worse it could be this it could be that” dude shut the actual fuck up you don’t know shit about anything and if you think it’s cuz I can’t take a joke you’re fucking wrong I will literally fucking trauma dump and make this WHOLE conversation uncomfortable

What’s the point of any of this

I have never cried About how fucking hideous I was until today. I bawled my eyes out and got so aggressive I cut open my knuckles from punching my headboard too Hard. I tried aggressively cutting but that didn’t work so I beat the fuck out of myself and now my legs are swollen internally. I dont know what’s wrong with me but I am very scared and upset and I just wish that I was Loved

I am so fucking worthless when will this end