How Much Money Did Judas Sell Out Jesus’ Ass For Though

when you need to poop but the toilet is across the room

RIP(p)

reblog to say RIP to penis

Pukicho what's going on with the notebook in ur new merch

I kept accidentally putting him inside another notebook, I don’t know how but I thought it looked neat so I kept it

That egg really just schlorped its way down there huh

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

mr. email, cumcumber is a friut

DAMMIT

Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation

nice

Jupiter Now Has 69 Moons

Our local gas giant has two more natural satellites added to its roster

nice

Uhuh yeah mhm sure but can a snowfield play doom

Snow flakes have the same structure as human neurons. Some scientists have suggested that, water being conductive, large snow banks may be able to function as intelligent brains.

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses i accidentally made you out of expired food.