I Think Next Thursday Is Gonna Be The Best Day Of My Entire Life Tbh

update:

you are not letting go of the spoon oh god oh fuck

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses i accidentally made you out of expired food.

Am I just tired or is this like, deliriously funny.

honestly my outlook on life

What do you do when you feel like you want to die

I simply imagine all the people who'd like it if I were dead. I'm not gonna let those fuckers win. I'll outlive this fucking planet if it looks at me the wrong way.

when you need to poop but the toilet is across the room

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

Most days I’m ambivalent about being gay, but sometimes it’s a relief not to be a straight boy ™

You go to fight the tooth fairy and these are the boss rooms

i cant stop fucking laughing

me_irl

I like to think that op calls their cat bagel so whenever they have to introduce her it goes like “her name is bagel, everything bagel” and I like that

My cat's name makes her vet bills look like fucked up breakfast orders

i like how hydrogen bomb vs. coughing baby is used as a reaction to lopsided fights because i actually thought the joke was that the two were evenly matched. i thought coughing babies really could hold their own here