I Like How Hydrogen Bomb Vs. Coughing Baby Is Used As A Reaction To Lopsided Fights Because I Actually

He has yet to know it, but he just made the perfect bread for toast

send cropped political memes

like this

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Amazing wonderful absolutely beautiful. This is better than every book, painting, or anything that has ever been created

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.infinitycow.eplay

I don’t know how pickup lines work but I know they don’t work like this… though I am flustered by your offer at such a noise making app, boy are my cheeks red, my golly gee wilikers you’re really getting me going now

TIL that in 1903 the New York Times predicted that building a flying machine would be possible in 1-10 Million years.

via ift.tt

SO today I’m walking through the cafeteria and there are two (supposed) friends, two girls, were arguing in the center very loudly. When the argument had reached its climax, I walked in, thinking about cheeseburger, one of the girls yelled “I HOPE BOTH SIDES OF THE PILLOW ARE WARM FOR YOU!” and they both stormed off. It made my day, and I hope for more to arrive shortly after these messages from our sponsor.

Not to be controversial or anything but I’d eat that

Ok so Haumea, a dwarf planet beyond Pluto, spins so fast it gets elongated like this. This is just what it looks like. Something deeply unsettles me looking at it. Terrifying.