Stares At You With My Big Ole Eyes

all the moons of 2024

lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own

the outfits people draw jonathan sims in (totally valid AND beautiful):

the outfits i always imagine him in:

i can only perceive him as a complete loser with no fashion sense who cannot combine colours. a mess of a man i absolutely adore

What if when Michael got Distortioned he/they/it/(?) had just kept showing up to work? Imagine Gertrude comes into the archives and finds a bunch of paperwork filled out in yellow highlighter and folded into impossible shapes, and then Michael-Distortion just walks into the room door-style and sits down at his work computer so it can email Gertrude a phishing scam.

affirmations

i am a cool bug

i am not gross

people who find me want to show me to their friends

i fill a valuable role in the ecosystem

macro lenses will not harm me

just learned that a coney island haunted house attraction used to have an unauthorized identical replica of alduin sitting above it until it got wrecked in hurricane sandy????? huh?????????

By Tanja Askani