*drumroll*

Wow my bpd is acting up fiercely this morning. It’s so...annoying.  The paranoia...it’s sickeningly overwhelming Like I see you’re online, you’ve been online for a while, you haven’t even looked at my message.  Did I upset you? Did I do something wrong? Do you secretly hate me? Are you... leaving me...?? Who is stealing you away from me? Is it them? God it gives me such anxiety in the deepest pits of my stomach. Its such a feeling that screams “You need to be perfect! You’re not perfect! BE BETTER BE BETTER! HE’S GOING TO LEAVE YOU”  I need to be perfect or he’ll leave me for someone better. I’ll be replaced in an instant if I slack.  It makes my skin crawl... I just want to cry so fucking bad. I want to break down. I want you to hold me so tight and close, and tell me you’re not going anywhere, ever. Never ever.

Please don’t leave me, I love you. I really do.

I... i cant.. i cant.. anymore...

I failed again.. I failed again..aGAIN

I just want to die pleaseI dont wanna be here i dont wanna be alive anymore i just wanna die i just wanna die it all hurts too bad let this life be over please fucking pleasePLEASE

Now this is funny.

Why did i read this in my mother’s voice

Me: multiple chronic illnesses with a wide span of symptoms.

Abled Person: have you tried yoga?

AP: gluten free?

AP: therapy? mindfulness?

AP: exercise?

AP: very expensive trial treatments?

Me: yes, none of it works.

…

AP: well I guess you just don’t WANT to get better then.

I just want to sit in daddy’s lap while he kisses me

nobody//anybody