davebearmn
Burly, bearded, bearish nerd and occasional Renaissance man.
98 posts
Latest Posts by davebearmn
Reading through DAI discussions and getting confused about who the heck this 'Lavellan' person is because my two playthroughs were as a dwarf warrior and as a qunari mage and because I so rarely accept the pregenerated names that I forget that other people use those names as shorthands for an inquisitor character.
Makes some of the portmanteaus used as 'ship names a bit tricky to decipher, too.
me, in the morning: Hmm. I'm rather sleepy, and a little bit anxious.
caffeine: let me help!
me: *glug glug glug*
- time passes -
caffeine: so how ya feelin'?
me: I'm rather anxious, and a little bit sleepy.
caffeine: my work here is done! You're welcome! Byeee!
* dramatic cape-swirling exit*
me: ...
me: why and how is caffeine wearing a cape?
Him: So what that mouth do?
Me: given past experience as a guide, probably say some weird awkward shit
Never look up to someone who looks down on you.
Never look down on someone who looks up to you.
Thinking back, Clarissa fell short of explaining it all.
A couple who were attending a wedding reception spent a long time in line to meet the wedding party and congratulate the newlyweds. By the time they were finally able to go sit down, both of them were extremely thirsty.
"I'll go get us some drinks. What would you like?" the man asked his companion.
"Anything is fine. I'm too parched to be picky. Whatever you can get quickly."
The man nodded and went off to survey the drink options. First he went to the bar where spirits and mixed drinks were being served, but there were already so many other guests waiting to be served that he realized it would be a long wait.
The next option was a table where various wines were available, but once again there were so many people sampling wines and taking forever to decide which one they wanted that he gave up in frustration.
The beer table was no better. He had been hoping to just grab a couple of bottles and go, but the beer was being served draft style and many guests were already waiting in line for their turns.
He was about to give up in despair, when he finally noticed a table where punch was being served.
Much to his relief, he realized that there was no punch line.
Harry Du Bois reminds me of the myth of Prometheus, but only if Prometheus had been forced to provide the eagles himself.
Not naming any names, but I think there's a rich dude with terrible taste in design aesthetics whose main frustration with the classic Trolley Problem was that having to go where the tracks led was too constraining.
Level-up day. Level 54 achieved.
I assure you I am in a good mood, even though the picture looks a little grumpy. That is the face of a man who just woke up, but is not ready to get out of bed yet.
Retro-Hipster Wizard Detective ready for some escape room shenanigans.
Wondering if any of the kids from those old "Crunchatize me, Cap'n!" commercials went on to develop crunchatizing fasciitis.
Feeling breedable, but not particularly submissive. 😈
Any bearded, hairy bad-asses out there wanna see if you're strong and determined enough to pin me down and force my tight hole open so you can make me take your seed? 🔥🥵
Happy World Beard Day!
Everyday self: you've had a long day and you're tired. Nothing wrong with some calm quiet relaxing things this evening.
Inner kinky self: go find some appropriately stimulating inspiration and get really deep into a headspace where stronger bearded hairy guys wrestle for the right to top you and impregnate you.
Technology and the Death of Romance
A mini-play in three acts.
---
Act I
"I made you a mix tape!"
"Thanks, but I don't use cassettes anymore."
---
Act II
"I burned this mix CD for you!"
"No one plays CDs anymore."
---
Act III
"...mp3 playlist?"
"oh, okay, *fine*."
Feeling fancy.
I love this portrait of me by the talented Dave Davenport @dogspunk.bsky.social!
The theme was how I might show up anticipating a Date With a Werewolf.
Hey, a hot 5-Way is a hot 5-Way.
This!
Two moods
Terpsichore at the Tower, Barony of Cynnabar, Middle Kingdom.
My former celebrity doppelgangers. Their appearances (and mine) have diverged in more recent years, but these older side-by-sides still amuse me.
Concept: The Sorting Hat, but instead of assigning you a House, it diagnoses you with one or more traits from the DSM-5.
Chonky nerdy bear seeks burly hairy biker or powerlifter type to impregnate me, or at least have a lot of fun trying to make it happen.
Oh, sure. I overthink, sometimes.
But am I actually overthinking *enough*?
Very well phrased. It's a transformative experience.
me recommending disco elysium: "it's going to be so uncomfortable. you play as the saddest alcoholic detective you've ever seen and you spend the first part of the game realizing how much you have fucked up before the start of the story. the humiliation can potentially kill you. the secondhand embarrassment might kill you as the player. kids on drugs will call you slurs. there are ghosts everywhere and the city is a ruin. it's also the most hopeful and poetic work of fiction i have ever experienced."