A metaphorical
Gun to my head
Threaten a fate
I would rather
Instead
A moment too soon
Or not soon enough
Maybe this metaphor
Is more real
Than I thought
You defy all meaning
All logic
All truth
You are like a blizzard
In the desert
Or an earthquake
In the sky
Impossible,
Yet happening
Right before my eyes
Being with you
I felt human agin
But in that moment
There was foreign blood
Pumping in my veins
So I scream out
Feeling raw inside
“I deserve to be loved!”
And listen for the echo
To return from the empty
So it can remind me
That I am
Alone
Listen close
Carefully
I have to say something
But you wont want to hear it
Anymore than i want to say it.
I want to be more
Than you will let me be.
So please
Give me time
This time
Wait- are you listening?
This is what i mean
I need you to understand
I need you to see
I am small,
You've made me this way
I am meant to be invincible
But you got in the way.
I know you've been hur- are you joking?
This is my point!
You ignore me
You restrain me
Then you slaughter my pride.
Do you understa- LISTEN!
It takes more courage
Then i have to say this
But i will
Because i must
So if you ever loved me
Listen now
To my final words
That is, for you
Goodbye
Dont you think I've hurt enough?
My chest is pieces
My heart is numb
Razor sharp words
Shred my skin
Daggers of emotions
Carve my soul
You did this!
Yet you scream at me
For being broken
And mangled
As if it were my fault
For loving
In the first place
You can only know
The phoenix
From the ash
It leaves behind
I lost my phone
I lost my keys
I ponder if it would be easier
To hide where nobody
Could find me
Too?
I know it hurts right now, love
But believe me when i say
That the cold that you are feeling
Will one day go away
And maybe it will come again
But this time you will feel
Like welcoming it instead
And that is when you'll heal
I often ponder
As to whether the stars
Tire of burning
Too?
I watched the stars
Then i consumed their light
One by one
A darkened sky
Then little by little
Their light consumed me
In return.
I am stronger than
My demons
And bigger than
My faults
So why do i let them control me
As if i am nothing at all