Bye, Deciever

Stars are what I reached for

The ground is what I hit

Life continues to beat me down

Like I don't deserve to live

One day I will die, I know

Till then it's misery

So let's cut out the middleman

And all just cease to be

I heard the whispers of gold

That rode on the breath of dawn

They were quiet

With their tickling breath

As i was sobered by the sun

Everyone loves the fall, it seems

But nobody ever thinks

About the tragedy befalls

Every fallen leaf

Their blood has been sucked out of them

Like a vampire with it's prey

And their bodies tumble helplessly

Like rain on a chilly day

And that crunching noise you love so much

When you tread upon the leaves?

You're stomping on their skeletons

And crushing skulls beneath your feet.

Of all the insults you've thrown

"Soft" has hurt the most.

To hear that the years of love and laughter

That carved the lines in my cheeks

Were a weakness

Wounds me as much as the slaps you endured

At the hands of people far less soft than I.

In a moment my pain will pass, I know

And pity will set in

At how sad it is that you were raised

To see compassion as a flaw.

-

Day 3/14

The darkness takes me

And my eyes feel heavy

Like my heart

Which weighs down

My chest

I didn't know I loved

An idiot

Until he said

He loved me too

Living in the Empty

How can i feel like empty space?

A dark abyss

Infinite in its shallows

And also in its depths

I am swimming forever

Drowning in an eternal loop

Only to awake once more

In the neverending shadows

I am being swallowed

Trapped, consumed, then freed

Alone in this infinity

With only darkness to breathe.

I Swallowed a Star

I watched the stars

Then i consumed their light

One by one

A darkened sky

Then little by little

Their light consumed me

In return.

I know it hurts right now, love

But believe me when i say

That the cold that you are feeling

Will one day go away

And maybe it will come again

But this time you will feel

Like welcoming it instead

And that is when you'll heal

Mauve toned lipgloss is all I need

To feel pretty.

But I can't recall when I began to wish for such things

For the stranger's heads to turn

For the too-long glances in the grocery store aisle

For them to dream of me in a new way.

I never cared before but now-

Now their attention is the only way

I feel beautiful anymore.

When I apply it to my lips and blend them with a POP!

I still don't know if I look beautiful for them

Or for me.

-

Day 2/14