I Lost My Phone

I didn't want to be in love

You caught me by surprise

But I'm a coward, so in fear

I smothered you with lies

Stars are what I reached for

The ground is what I hit

Life continues to beat me down

Like I don't deserve to live

One day I will die, I know

Till then it's misery

So let's cut out the middleman

And all just cease to be

Thoughts on Love #12

I want to love a person who loves me with my mask on, but dosent shrink away when I take it off. I want to love a person who accepts who I am underneath the layers of lies and falsity that I put up. I want to love a person who thinks my flaws are beautiful. I want someone to love me for me.

Have you ever

Felt as if

Breathing water

Would be easier

Than breathing

Air?

There are so many eyes

Glowing in the dark

Watching me

Waiting until i slip.

It is maddening

The disembodied cackles

Mocking me

Not with words,

But with laughter.

Awaiting my failure

Do you see the eyes?

Do you hear the sounds?

Am i the only one

Who is

Going insane?

Living in the Empty

How can i feel like empty space?

A dark abyss

Infinite in its shallows

And also in its depths

I am swimming forever

Drowning in an eternal loop

Only to awake once more

In the neverending shadows

I am being swallowed

Trapped, consumed, then freed

Alone in this infinity

With only darkness to breathe.

I took a train to Amsterdam

To see something that's new

The lull of life had gotten to me

So I got away from you.

When my sanity is tied so tightly to the notion

That you will always be mine

I hope you understand why I'm broken

When the strings of fate that tangled us together

Begin unraveling

Like the denumount of a bittersweet film

That I've seen coming but just can't bear to watch.

I've turned the ending in my mind

Like a smooth stone in my hand

Feeling for any scratch and mar

To justify holding on

Instead of skipping it on the surface of the sea.

-

5/14

A rumble in the fog

Tells me I am not alone.

Quickened breaths

Faster steps

I try to flee

What stalks me in the dark

But when the fog clears

I see an empty field

Where the weeds have grown

Unkempt

And i wonder how i am meant

To trust others

When i can barely trust

Myself

Kindergarten (The Lie)

No mercy or kindness to be found

A horrible life to live

He asked for an extra cookie

Yet no cookie would they give

  The boy wanted to color

The warden said, “Not today”

He wanted to leave, to escape

Just to go home and play

  The inmates there were never kind

They stole snacks from him

And in the yard they played hide-n-seek

But he never seemed to win

  Then after that, came naptime

A torture fit for hell

They forced him into unconsciousness

With music like a spell

  He eagerly awaited the deafening ring

That called for his release

Then he would be at home again

Finally, at peace