Fighting My Inner Demons (I Want To Eat Pudding For Breakfast)

I’ve found myself on many planes recently, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that some of y’all really need to clean out your pools. Them things lookin’ greener than a tree frog on Saint Patrick’s Day, goddog! 

My big girl pants are currently in the washing machine. sorry

you ever smell a smell and then be 15 again?

You know, as you become an adult, you will face many new and unexpected challenges. This can be a really scary experience. What do I do when my can opener rusts? I didn’t know this was a possibility.

Anything can be a UFO if you're bad at identifying flying objects

My very first playlist I ever made was on my iPhone 5 and it was called “On TØP”

Me and my wife: discussing the artists that fundamentally changed us in middle school

Me: idk man, "soap" had a chokehold on me, and don't even get me started on "teen idle"

My wife: holy shit "teen idle." Have you even heard "girls"? Holy shit, I was transported.

My boyfriend, standing there so confused: ...................huh

Actually, all of my systems are nervous

I think I’d be a good krill. I’d kick ass at being a krill

I wish I had infinite cookie

Not every day is a good day.

But today certainly was.