I Wish I Had Infinite Cookie

The car is rattling. It's subtle; you wouldn't notice it if it wasn't your car. You've been driving it for years. You turn the music up louder and try not to worry.

The check engine light is on.

And why do I remember it? It wasn't remarkable. It wasn't special. It was just a moment, maybe eight, nine seconds. And yet it remains. Why is this what I remember? I forget everything. My memory is hazy and foggy. I can't think straight. It's so hard for me. I try so hard to remember things I need. Things I want. Things I love. Why can't I forget this? Why do I cling to it?

I hope I’m a better sister to you than she was to me. I love you so much it hurts. I think about you every day. You’re an ass, you can be a pain, and you can be unkind. But I would walk into fire for you. I would do anything to keep you safe. I wish I could do more for you.

I don’t know how you see me, but I’d rather be kind and uncertain, than never be kind at all.

This is suddenly feeling very relevant as well. But we stay silly

I think I'm going to have a little ✨menty b✨

I am a beast. I was born from other beasts, and I will die a beast. It’s in my nature, in my blood.

You are yours are creatures. Gentler hands, tender embraces. You took me into your nest, feeding me along with your own young. But it’s clear I will always be a beast. My paws dwarf yours. My movements are less graceful. My eyes carry something different. But you love me all the same. And I love you as my mother.

I am a beast, but I am your beast. Loyal to you and you alone.

I wonder if you miss me

Hey, there’s always next year, right?

I wish you knew how much I love you.

I can feel it getting duller, drawing it's last breaths. It's okay; it's natural. It's absolutely bittersweet.

I miss you, my dear. I miss how you made me feel. I hope you know that I will always love you. And I am so, so proud of you.

I’ll never forget the time I was in the car with my now wife when we were freshmen in college and she was playing “Amen” by Amber Run and, with tears in her eyes, asked me if I’d ever heard it. And I, equally somber, said “yeah in a Warrior Cats PMV.”

@ofthequeenbee

You never realize how much 6 pounds of something really is until you have to pick up 6 pounds of banana bread from the post office