Actually, All Of My Systems Are Nervous

Remember. We are not running away. We are retreating strategically

You know, as you become an adult, you will face many new and unexpected challenges. This can be a really scary experience. What do I do when my can opener rusts? I didn’t know this was a possibility.

My wife: My beautiful wife! My amazing, brilliant, beautiful, perfect wife! I'd die for her. God she's perfect.

Me: dumbass (affectionate)

You never realize how much 6 pounds of something really is until you have to pick up 6 pounds of banana bread from the post office

Children are to be seen AND heard.

new year, new me! I'm going to get even sillier

Thank you to everyone who participated in my study. For your troubles, I can offer you two Tylenol, and a piece of gum.

Something is twisting around my ribs and gripping my tongue. It's sitting in my throat. I can see it, but it won't talk to me. I don't know if it can.

Breaking news! Talking about your feelings actually helps you feel better! Follow for more shocking developments

Love is the family business.