This Is Suddenly Feeling Very Relevant As Well. But We Stay Silly

I feel like the beach showcases humanity at its finest. There are happy newlyweds taking pictures together. Elderly couples walk hand in hand and watch the sunset. Little kids bubble over with excitement when they see the water for the first time. Everyone is collecting shells. There is pure, uncontainable joy. A sense of peace hangs in the air along with the salt.

And then I look for too long and see the plastic bottle caps bobbing in the water and the beer cans littering the sand.

Children are to be seen AND heard.

My wife: Do you want a wordle hint? It's pretty esoteric and random - I don't know how helpful it'll be

Me: Yeah actually

My wife: It's part of the title to one of my favorite glass animals songs

Me, .2 seconds later: Oh! I got it.

I wonder if you miss me

Remember. Any room can be a guest room if you put your guests there.

I am a beast. I was born from other beasts, and I will die a beast. It’s in my nature, in my blood.

You are yours are creatures. Gentler hands, tender embraces. You took me into your nest, feeding me along with your own young. But it’s clear I will always be a beast. My paws dwarf yours. My movements are less graceful. My eyes carry something different. But you love me all the same. And I love you as my mother.

I am a beast, but I am your beast. Loyal to you and you alone.

There is a certain horror in outlasting.

I am the perpetual survivor; steadfast eternal. As the world crumbles into sand between my fingers, I live on.

But dear God. I wasn't supposed to outlive you.

Trapped in my own personal Hell – doomed to watch my loved ones killed before me. And there's nothing I can do.

Not to be a choosing beggar but why do gameshows only seem to be giving out money nowadays? What happened to kitchen appliance sets and cruises? Don't give me the burden of choice

Remember ladies. Any burrito can be a breakfast burrito if you eat it for breakfast

I’ve found myself on many planes recently, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that some of y’all really need to clean out your pools. Them things lookin’ greener than a tree frog on Saint Patrick’s Day, goddog!