Strawbebbie

There's a little border collie who lives in my head. She's very smart, but very restless. If she is not kept busy, she starts chewing up all my furniture.

It was a gift from my sister

Do y'all know that song that's like the Sophia the First theme but also a little bit like the bridge from Love Shack (B-52s) and also like the Fairly Odd Parents theme? Asking for a friend

Do you ever find yourself mourning what has not yet come to pass?

Anything can be a UFO if you're bad at identifying flying objects

The car is rattling. It's subtle; you wouldn't notice it if it wasn't your car. You've been driving it for years. You turn the music up louder and try not to worry.

The check engine light is on.

Breaking news! Talking about your feelings actually helps you feel better! Follow for more shocking developments

I think I’d be a good krill. I’d kick ass at being a krill

*flight of the bumblebee plays furiously as I navigate Walmart*

You never realize how much 6 pounds of something really is until you have to pick up 6 pounds of banana bread from the post office