Oh And:

WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME, OH HOLY BAGEL?

See, this actually makes a lot of sense, because if you think about it... Shrimps is bugs.

mer!Naruto vers

Day 27.

nobody talks about the male swaglessness epidemic

Beyond Birthday's not even a fuckin' name. No I will not take criticism on this post.

We were cleaning the python's tank and I was holding him, and he went up my shirt, and needless to say, snake in boobs.

I did not remember reblogging this. But apparently I did at some point.

i gave my sister $100 for her bday, but i gave it to her in $1 bills that i folded into origami. so that’s how she pays for delivery food & now the pizza girl thinks she’s a stripper

Ah, wait I forgot:

Help two men try to make a call because their car broke down, which ultimately didn't work. I then let them use my phone, which apparently was out of minutes, despite me having never made a call in the last three months.

So far today at work I've had to:

Clean blood off of a door,

Manage three entrances by myself, all very far apart,

Learn how to turn off the handicap lock,

Let two groups into the building at the same time, from opposite doors,

And catch like, 30 seels in Pokémon Go.

I got here two hours ago.

AND WHAT IF THEY WERE IN LOVE??? POG.

human sally and emily 

R

Remy Ratatouille???

OKAYOKAYOKAY. BUT THIS "BEING NICE TO PEOPLE" THING? THIS IS THE SHIT. I AM HAVING THE BEST TIME RIGHT NOW. GO BE NICE TO SOMEONE RIGHT NOW I-