WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME, OH HOLY BAGEL?

PLEASE STOP ATTACKING ME

So I've quit McDonald's... Time to tell about my second secret job.

"Hold on, let me slither into something a little more comfortable." I say putting on a suit made of someone else's skin.

Took me years to understand the "why the long face" punchlines to "so a horse walks into a bar" jokes because I just thought that's a normal sized face to have if you're a horse. It never occurred to me judge a horse by the standards of man

Ah, wait I forgot:

Help two men try to make a call because their car broke down, which ultimately didn't work. I then let them use my phone, which apparently was out of minutes, despite me having never made a call in the last three months.

So far today at work I've had to:

Clean blood off of a door,

Manage three entrances by myself, all very far apart,

Learn how to turn off the handicap lock,

Let two groups into the building at the same time, from opposite doors,

And catch like, 30 seels in Pokémon Go.

I got here two hours ago.

disney concept art: the most beautiful dynamic original thing i have ever seen

disney finished project: rubber same face minimalism regurgitated plots 

full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009

@despotgoblin

SCHOOL should always be your second priority. your first priority should always be committing STRANGE behaviors with your FRIENDS

R

Remy Ratatouille???

monster energy

hahahaha hoo *takes a beaker full of glowy green laboratory juice and drinks its contents* aw haha *becomes an evil and fucked up monster* hahaha