God Gave Me Terrible Aim So I Couldn't Toss A Basket Ball Into The Heavens Yelling Headshot And Kill

Oh and:

Talk to men.

So far today at work I've had to:

Clean blood off of a door,

Manage three entrances by myself, all very far apart,

Learn how to turn off the handicap lock,

Let two groups into the building at the same time, from opposite doors,

And catch like, 30 seels in Pokémon Go.

I got here two hours ago.

Like with cheeks, or?

will someone draw a bumblebee butt? i just really want to know what that would look like for some reason...

Ooghhhh... Roronoa Zaza...

Me to my coworker: I'm sorry Gillian, but i really don't want you watch me eat soup and put on ointment like the old lady i am.

My coworker: :(

How to play an accordion:

-play piano.

-turn it 90°.

-never look at your fingers again.

-don't forget to do the squeeze.

*whips out a magicians cape* and for my next trick, I will commit FUCKING ARSON.

Internet friends will say "Gimmie a sec" and then forget to come back.

I think the best part about having internet friends is when the person you're talking to goes suddenly quiet then reappears in the chat with either the single greatest or single most cursed image youve ever seen that they made themselves in 5 to 10 minutes

Let's go

Imaginary Ornithology, Estelle Hanania

Where is

Where is she going?

there she goes

Queen never cry