Me To My Coworker: I'm Sorry Gillian, But I Really Don't Want You Watch Me Eat Soup And Put On Ointment

GET OUT OF THE ROADDDD

Ghosts?

In your room you say?

it's ok to keep secrets, everybody has some skeletons in the closet. Wraiths in the attic. Ghosts in the bedroom. Mummy in the kitchen. Enchanted armor on the stairs. Slimes in the basement. Maybe a giant spider in the backyard. Beholder or two in the garage. Vampires are also in the closet

my number one skill is being sooo cute and my number two skill is the ancient curse

The outside smells like cigarettes,

The change rooms smell like man sweat,

The back smells like Doritos,

The doors all smell like cleaner,

And I am alone.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR ME, OH HOLY BAGEL?

This is just megamind???

Good evening to my short kings

Can I... Can I have the link?

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

Oh and:

Talk to men.

So far today at work I've had to:

Clean blood off of a door,

Manage three entrances by myself, all very far apart,

Learn how to turn off the handicap lock,

Let two groups into the building at the same time, from opposite doors,

And catch like, 30 seels in Pokémon Go.

I got here two hours ago.

So I've quit McDonald's... Time to tell about my second secret job.