bsdndprplplld

Latest Posts by bsdndprplplld

just had a reflection about perfectionism. today I had an exam for which I was prepared very well, but my stupid brain happened and I didn't get the highest grade. my boyfriend was comforting me and he asked since when I want to ace everything, this question made me think

indeed, I don't want to ace everything. I am taking 4 courses this semester, one of which I don't care about enough to strive for the best grade, one of which is way too hard to aim that far, two of which I thought were achievable. and now I didn't achieve that. it feels different to set unrealistic goals and then never achieve them than to set very realistic ones and still fail, that's what I realized today

I am not a perfectionist. I used to be, years ago, and then I learned to set realistic goals. now I'm thinking, isn't perfectionism a kind of a coping mechanism? deep down you know your goals are impossible, so it's not really surprising when you fail. you are never satisfied, sure, but maybe it does feel more safe this way than to not know if you will be satisfied or disappointed. if that's the case then setting realistic goals is absolutely not the way to heal perfectionism

Balance

We need books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like being banished into forests far from everyone. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us. That is my belief.

Franz Kafka

haha of course, how silly of me

you really can't

wha?

please explain what this message means or else the curiosioty will kill me

you really can't

wha?

please explain what this message means or else the curiosioty will kill me

I neglected this blog like hell, sorry

I had a lot of work to do, that's kinda what happened. but I would like to go back to posting regularly, so maybe I could write about something people would want to see?

for now my ideas for posts include

more study tips

a quick intro to moduli functors, since a lot of sources are written in a way that requires advanced algebraic geometry. I could explain the basics using (almost) only commutative algebra

updates on my life and what I've been working on

books recommendations

interesting math problems I encountered recently

if you'd like to see any of that, let me know! and feel free to give me more suggestions in the comments

did that to me

We need books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like being banished into forests far from everyone. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us. That is my belief.

Franz Kafka

yes! the same goes for teaching btw. people who just recite the textbook to you are not good teachers. the key to a good explanation of a concept is understanding why someone does not understand it in the first place. and doing that to your own mind when trying to learn something is the point of good learning

also maybe it’s just bc i have a very autistic interest in sociology and human behavior but i like to understand why people think and behave the way they do. it’s been an asset to my ability to advocate for myself and for others. if i know why someone believes something rather than just what they believe, i can have an actual conversation with them. so it always boggles my mind when ppl insist it doesn’t matter why someone believes something, they’re Just Wrong And Should Change Their Mind. like yeah if i could snap my fingers and make someone not transphobic i’d do that but i live on planet earth so the only thing that is gonna potentially get someone to change their mind as long as they’re not too far gone is having an honest conversation with them. i have changed several minds this way, including my own parents, so it’s frustrating to see ppl discouraging this.

Visualization of the Rubik's cube

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

ok uh. how do you hypothetically say "i want to study you" in a friendly way

so far the best I've got is "can i join a discord derver that youre in so i can observe you in your natural habitat"

god I hate when people do that. bonus points for "so the exam was super easy. what did you get?"

Hi ppl who are nosy and want to know ur grades so they can judge how smart u are are annoying as fuck

doing (basic) algebraic topology in this context feels like going to that jungle and saying you know what bring this thing down we are building a city here. everything is a CW complex, everything is euclidean, and compact or paracompact if it must, all of this so that we can forget about sidestepping around topology and do algebra in peace lmao

Measure theory and topology both have this great flavor where you give the most minimal possible definition for the thing you want and then you get all the nice properties, except no, your definition is soft enough to allow crazy nonsense counterexamples hiding behind everything that you have to carefully sidestep around. It's like doing math in a jungle

oh i just saw, congrats on the bachelors!! im still in calc 3, i thought itd be less mundane but it is actually killing now to the point where i cant even open our stewart text. all my friends in decent math programs are doing more fun and general versions this course. i just cant wait to not use this awful book anymore (all our work is based on the books problems and methodology). all this is to say your progress is inspiring. hopefully i get to a point where i can also be having fun around structures and such, i just have to finish grinding through the filter of "do a bunch of this and don't worry about what it really means, btw good luck problem solving on your exams with 0 neither provided intuition nor rigor". i hope blogs like this stick around!

thank you for the nice message!

I'm so sorry to hear that this is how they teach you math, something like this takes away all pleasure and satisfaction. I didn't have calc 3 as such at my university, we would generally focus on theory and understanding from the start. however, we did have some courses where the mindset was like you just described and it was torture. I hope it changes for you soon so that you can finally enjoy some beautiful math!

oh and there is the dual thing: sometimes you just know that the professor hates the subject. like when I was taking one of the analysis courses, where the lecture was with one professor and the tutorials were with a different one

at the lectures we were two months into measure theory while at the tutorials haven't even started doing exercises on that topic, but oh it was fine, still plenty of time, he knows what he's doing – we thought, like fools. then the midterm was announced, two weeks left, we still haven't started measure theory. then it was one week left, so the professor tried to solve some lebesgue integrals with us, but he got so bored with each example that he hasn't finished a single one. at this point we just hoped that maybe measure theory just won't be on the midterm, it was too late to do anything. well, unfortunately, the midterm consisted mostly of measure theory problems, it made sense because that was the main content of the course

the professor was clearly very passionate about hating measure theory

One of the really amusing things about college is that if you pay attention you sometimes can discern some of your professor's favorite pet concepts.

For instance, in my Topology course this semester, the Zariski topology has come up at least once in every single homework set so far, and in multiple lectures.

And okay, that's not that weird. The Zariski topology is a really important object in a LOT of fields, especially algebraic geometry. And discussing it at length is a really pedagogically sound move because the Zariski topology is a good example of a topology with a very well motivated structure (the closed sets are the algebraic sets!) that still very naturally gives rise to a lot of strange features, like the way all open sets in the standard topology are Zariski-dense. It was quite effective at startling me out of the complacency of unconsciously basing my intuition of how topologies behave entirely on the standard topology on the reals. So my professor bringing up Zariski so often doesn't necessarily mean he has any special affection for it.

except...

My professor writes many of the homework problems himself. Not all of them - the less interesting ones he lifts from the textbook- but some. Well, every single Zariski topology question I've encountered so far is an original from this guy. I know because the all the questions he writes personally have paragraphs of commentary contextualizing why he thinks the problem is interesting and where the ideas in the problem are going later in the course. And well- let's just say the asides on the Zariski topology have been copious indeed

AND THEN there's the way he talks about the Zariski topology in class! It's with this blend of enthusiasm and fascination only comparable to the way I've seen tumblrites talk about their blorbos. Like hey! Come behold this sgrungy little guy! Isn't he fucked up? Isn't he marvelous? And I look and I can only conclude YEAH that is indeed a spectacular specimen, he's so strange, I want to put him in a terrarium and study him (and then I get to! In my homeworks!)

Anyways. It makes me really happy picking up on how excited my professor is to share this topology with us. I'm kind of baffled that people assume math is a boring field full of boring people when there exist folks like my professor who get this passionate about a topology!

maybe a littel late for Real’s Math Ask Meme 18, 6 and 3, please?

hi, thanks for the questions!

3: what math classes did you like the most?

tough choice! for the content itself I'd say abstract algebra, commutative algebra, analytic functions and algebraic topology. for the way the class was taught, a course on galois theory I took last semester was probably the best. the pace of the lecture allowed me to learn everything on the spot, not too fast, but not so slow that my mind would wander. the tutorials were also great, because the teacher found the perfect balance between explaining and showing the solutions, and engaging us to think about what should happen next. the courses I mentioned above were also taught well, but the galois theory one was absolutely perfect

6: why do you learn math?

I enjoy the feeling of math in my brain. I can spend hours thinking about a problem and not get bored, which doesn't usually happen with other things. when I finish a study session I feel tired in a good way, like I spent my time and energy doing something valuable and it's very satisfying

18: can you share a good math problem you've solved recently?

given a holomorphic line bundle L over a compact complex manifold, prove that L is trivial iff L and the dual of L both admit a non-zero section

this problem is quite basic, in a sense that you work on it right after getting started with line bundles, but I believe it to be a good problem, because it forces you to analyze the difference between trivial holomorphic bundles and trivial smooth bundles, so it's great for building some intuition

Thinking about how when my oldest brother took Japanese classes his professor was like your pronunciation is really good 😊 but you need to watch movies that aren't about the Yakuza because you sound like a criminal

My favorite example of girl math is when David Hilbert and Albert Einstein couldn't solve how energy conservation worked in general relativity, so Hilbert asked Emmy Noether about it and she solved it for them.

Me when I need to rotate 720 degrees to return to my original state

yes, this, but also among other stem courses in a typical school, math is taken the most seriously. idk about other countries, but in poland in highschool people study chemistry, biology, physics and geography only if they decide to take the advanced final exams in these subjects. with math, everyone has take the standard level exam, so it can't be ignored like other subjects

up to highschool everyone has to complete their share of stem courses, but with the subjects other than math, the teachers often allow students to pass by memorizing the theory or by making some extra projects to earn points. with math you can't do that. when someone struggles with physics, the teacher sometimes says "alright, next year you won't have to study physics, so just learn those formulas and definitions and write them down on a test and I will let you pass". in math this is not an option, the student will have to take n more years of math courses

also, math mainly requires learning new skills, not just new information. many people never memorize the "dry theory" in highschool, because you have access to a reference table of formulas during exams and your job is only to know where to use those formulas – no need to memorize anything. but this does not come naturally to everyone and I think a huge part of the problem is teaching people how to work on their problem solving skills. I tutored a few students who believed they were bad at math and their mindset was "I can solve this type of problem because I know how to substitute into this formula, but when the problem is slightly different I panic, because the teacher never showed us how to solve it", which can be fixed by practicing a wider variety of problems and practicing the awareness of one's thinking process

people do not understand that problem solving is a skill on its own and I blame schools for that, because what we are offered is the image of math being about re-using the same kind of thinking processes but with different numbers. heck, when I was in elementary school I thought this is what math is about and I hated it because it's so boring and repetitive. I can imagine, when someone believes that this is what math is supposed to be and then they see the "more real math", which is about creativity, they panic (and rightfully so, they've been lied to)

my unpopular opinion is that not everyone can be good at this, just like I will never be good at understanding literature – my brain just sucks at processing this kind of stuff and I have aphantasia which doesn't help at all. but what makes it even worse for those people is the belief that it should be about repeating the same patterns over and over, so when they see that it's something completely different, it must be very frustrating – the reality is inconsistent with their beliefs

I am sure it doesn't cover the entirety of the "oof I always hated math" phenomenon, but it certainly does explain some of it, especially in the context of the education system in my country

As I said in a previous post, I have deep sympathy for the frustration of people who are good at math when they see math so almost universally hated by children and adults

And again and again, they try to explain that math is very much within everyone's reach and can be fun and, at least in western countries, education was to blame, messing up this very doable and fun thing by teaching it wrong

But I still gotta wonder - why math? If it is really just education messing this up, why does it mess up so much with math, specifically? I'm sorry but I still cannot shake the sense that even if it's just bad teaching, math is especially vulnerable to bad teaching.

Or is it maybe just that math is the only truly exact science, so there is no margin of error, so unlike every other field where you can sortof weasel around and get away with teaching and retaining half-truths and oversimplifications and purely personal opinions, math is unforgiving with the vague and the incorrect?

I'm glad I never encoutered anyone with such serious mindset while I was studying programming because now I wouldn't have as much fun writing branchless things in python, which is completely useless in highlevel languages but I just can't resist

I feel like some people are too serious with learning how to program. “I gotta be the best in this and that and build this and that to impress this employer” blah blah, that kills the fun out of programming. I see a lot of people (bashing people on Twitter again and actually a few people on here too, oops) making programming such a serious topic and you can’t have fun in it. Besides the proper syntax, documentation, best practises whatever, people in the tech community have putting up “rules” about how you should program and what to learn and if you fall out of that, you get ridiculed for it. Literally making it less fun.

Someone said that there’s no point in learning jQuery because JavaScript alone can do all that jQuery can and more.

So? I’m still going to learn it for fun? I’m having a blast with SCSS and jQuery, I don’t care 🤷🏾‍♀️ and I’ll learn the other frameworks and libraries that suits me because I want to. I don’t care if the entire tech community stops using a technology - if it interests me, I’m still going to learn it~!

Also no hate or anything to that person who said that to me - I completely understand your POV on jQuery! 💗✨ When I first read comment, I was a bit down like “oh what’s the point then…” but slapped myself and was like “I’m not learning for them or anyone. This library is cool and I like it so I’m still gonna use it”

Moral of the story: just do you. Do what makes you happy, code what you happy. Don’t be so serious all the time and make stupid dumb programs or games or websites whatever. Have fun in such a hard subject!!!

touch grassmannian

touching grass is not enough sometimes. sometimes what you actually need to touch is a math textbook

when a pelican bites you there's no malice in their eyes. they aren't upset at you. they are just hungry and want to see if you fit in their mouths. and if you don't then it's no problem and everything is fine. and if you do then well i guess your fate is sealed but that's ok it's a beautiful animal

omg so that's why so many empty blogs follow me. I've been blocking them at first assuming that they were bots, but at some point the usernames started sounding way too normal-human-like, so I stopped, my instinct told me something else was going on. lemme just unblock all the empty blogs now, damn, I'm so sorry to everyone who wanted to follow me but was blocked out of habit!!

fun fact!! it turns out that now when u make a new blog, tumblr forces you to follow 3-4 people before you can change your icon or modify your blog in any way!! this, of course, means that, yes, some of the "potential bots" many of us have been automatically blocking could have possibly been genuine new users who were only just seconds in to having an account!!! tumblr is literally screwing new users over!!!!

Theory Time

The reason endermen don’t like it when you look at them is because they communicate telepathically with one another by locking eyes! Humans are absolutely not designed to do this so when we look at them we are accidentally projecting all of our thoughts into them at the same time and it hurts :(

Real’s Math Ask Meme

What math classes have you taken?

What math classes did you do best in?

What math classes did you like the most?

What math classes did you do worst in?

Are there areas of math that you enjoy? What are they?

Why do you learn math?

What do you like about math?

Least favorite notation you’ve ever seen?

Do you have any favorite theorems?

Better yet, do you have any least favorite theorems?

Tell me a funny math story.

Who actually invented calculus?

Do you have any stories of Mathematical failure you’d like to share?

Do you think you’re good at math? Do you expect more from yourself?

Do other people think you’re good at math?

Do you know anyone who doesn’t think they’re good at math but you look up to anyway? Do you think they are?

Are there any great female Mathematicians (living or dead) you would give a shout-out to?

Can you share a good math problem you’ve solved recently?

How did you solve it?

Can you share any problem solving tips?

Have you ever taken a competitive exam?

Do you have any friends on Tumblr that also do math?

Will P=NP? Why or why not?

Do you feel the riemann zeta function has any non-trivial zeroes off the ½ line?

Who is your favorite Mathematician?

Who is your least favorite Mathematician?

Do you know any good math jokes?

You’re at the club and Andrew Wiles proves your girl’s last theorem. WYD?

You’re at the club and Grigori Perlman brushes his gorgeous locks of hair to the side and then proves your girl’s conjecture. WYD?

Who is/was the most attractive Mathematician, living or dead? (And why is it Grigori Perlman?)

Can you share a math pickup line?

Can you share many math pickup lines?

Can you keep delivering math pickup lines until my pants dissapear?

Have you ever dated a Mathematician?

Would you date someone who dislikes math?

Would you date someone who’s better than you at math?

Have you ever used math in a novel or entertaining way?

Have you learned any math on your own recently?

When’s the last time you computed something without a calculator?

What’s the silliest Mathematical mistake you’ve ever made?

Which is better named? The Chicken McNugget theorem? Or the Hairy Ball theorem?

Is it really the answer to life, the universe, and everything? Was it the answer on an exam ever? If not, did you put it down anyway to be a wise-ass?

Did you ever fail a math class?

Is math a challenge for you?

Are you a Formalist, Logicist, or Platonist?

Are you close with a math professor?

Just how big is a big number?

Has math changed you?

What’s your favorite number system? Integers? Reals? Rationals? Hyper-reals? Surreals? Complex? Natural numbers?

How do you feel about Norman Wildberger?

Favorite casual math book?

Do you have favorite math textbooks? If so, what are they?

Do you collect anything that is math-related?

Do you have a shrine Terence Tao in your bedroom? If not, where is it?

Where is your most favorite place to do math?

Do you have a favorite sequence? Is it in the OEIS?

What inspired you to do math?

Do you have any favorite/cool math websites you’d like to share?

Can you reccomend any online resources for math?

What’s you favorite number? (Wise-ass answers allowed)

Does 6 really *deserve* to be called a perfect number? What the h*ck did it ever do?

Are there any non-interesting numbers?

How many grains of sand are in a heap of sand?

What’s something your followers don’t know that you’d be willing to share?

Have you ever tried to figure out the prime factors of your phone number?

If yes to 65, what are they? If no, will you let me figure them out for you? 😉

Do you have any math tatoos?

Do you want any math tatoos?

Wanna test my theory that symmetry makes everything more fun?

Do you like Mathematical paradoxes?

👀

Are you a fan of algorithms? If so, which are your favorite?

Can you program? What languages do you know?

I finally tried mindmaps to keep track of the 200 kinds of morphisms and another 100 kinds of sheaves (that one is work in progress)

I kinda like the result and I hope to finally use my notes in the future

I know one person who started phd without master's but that's in computer science and he already had a research startup running independently. he had a med degree already and his research is about using ML in medicine, so he was granted a "special permission" to start a phd. the guy is a very hard-working genius

now when it comes to math, one of my friends claimed that it is possible to start phd after bsc if someone graduates magna cum laude or something. I never heard of that before and it sounds insane, so I asked my advisor about it and he never heard of that either lol moreover he said that it's a stupid idea unless someone already has a few publications

afaik in the US the undergraduate degree takes 4 years and phd takes 5, it's like a mix of masters and the actual phd, so I guess it evens itself out

okay this might sound stupid to a lot of you but I thought you need a masters degree before you can do a PhD. so weird to me seeing 22 year olds doing a PhD after a bachelors degree. I don't know where I got this idea but I'm having a hard time rearranging my world view around this, even though this is so inconsequential thing to be wrong about xd

– so what do you do in math?

– algebraic topology, you?

– ugh I always hated algebra. I do probability theory

– ugh I was never any good at probablity theory