Brock08 - Untitled

the love stories that don't end with a goodbye are the saddest ones

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”

—

You just end up getting used up until there’s nothing left. None of the light that shone so brightly before. Just a husk, a shade of the beauty that once was, and it’s absolutely heartbreaking to know, that the person that was will never be again.

God I hate myself for not having an outlet or friends that care because I fucked shit up. So I go to the bar because I don’t want to be surrounded by fighting between my housemate and her bf, and I don’t want to go back to drugs. It’s sucks to be off drugs, and trying your hardest to actually grow the fuck up and take care of shit for once only to be seen as what you’ve been in the past. Recovery is one of the hardest fucking things I’ve done, but it’s the best decision I have ever made, and I’m proud of myself for how far I’ve come.

And it’s back to the Kitchen I go, things are finally looking up. Truck will be finished early next week, went from 1/2 a job to 1 1/2 jobs, might have found a house to buy, and finally made an appointment to talk to a Dr. about my anxiety. It’s been a productive week so far. Just goes to show that even when things seem to be at their darkest, the light at the end of the tunnel could only be a day or two away.

The sound of heavy rain while you are in bed.

I still miss you. I still think about you. I still would love to hear from you, even just to know you’re ok.

Just over two weeks sober from alcohol, and it feels great, it’s taking some getting used to, but for sure was a choice for the better. Always pushing forward, never settling for less then where I want to be.