The Gates Of Hell Have Opened In The Meijer Woman's Bathroom.

Thought the Mountain Dew soda streamer was Mountain Dew scented dryer breads.

Drinking Piggly Wiggly water of unknown origin is like playing Russian Roulette. You can get pool water, water that was sitting outside to long on field day on the last day of school, Satan's toilet water, normal but slightly to the left, normal to the right, westbend, and slightly better than Dasani.

had to go elbow deep in the couchussy to get the remote

bathroom smelled, and now my lungs are pumpkin spice scented

Don't let people pressure you into buying more spoons than you need.

*reads period chunks in toilet water like tea leaves*

Horrid sister, mother, cooks me in the winter to keep you warm!

Of course, I like all my posts. That's who they're made for.

See these hands. They've been in so many armpits.

Nothing is worse than bumping your headphones and turning on ambient mode. You're just watching your silly little videos one second, and the next, you're in the trenches during a storm praying to a god who will not answer for a mercy that will not be given.