Occasionally, When You Bite The Hand That Feeds, It Is Your Own.

*reads period chunks in toilet water like tea leaves*

just took a shit so nasty I had to shower immediately afterwards

The master bedroom of my condo doesn't even have a cuck chair. where am i supposed to eat my appy slices and peanutbutter?? on the bed?? I do that at home. I'm on vacation. i deserve to have a cuck chair. I have a chair i my room at home but it is a chairdrobe. I put all my close on that before I get around to putting them away. to have a useless chair is a simple luxury. sure I intended to blasphize the cuck chair by denying it's horny purposes, but so what i want to relax and have a nice diner of appie slices with more peanut butter than apple and microwave popcorn.

When you marinate meat, your meat also gets marinated.

Nothing is worse than bumping your headphones and turning on ambient mode. You're just watching your silly little videos one second, and the next, you're in the trenches during a storm praying to a god who will not answer for a mercy that will not be given.

Of course, I like all my posts. That's who they're made for.

Drinking Piggly Wiggly water of unknown origin is like playing Russian Roulette. You can get pool water, water that was sitting outside to long on field day on the last day of school, Satan's toilet water, normal but slightly to the left, normal to the right, westbend, and slightly better than Dasani.

Horrid sister, mother, cooks me in the winter to keep you warm!

tummy grumbles have me hauling ass across the store white knuckling the cart, hoping I don't shit myself

See these hands. They've been in so many armpits.