Ive Been Crying For The Past 30 Minutes Over Solenodons. Look At Them. Some Facts Btw- They Are Venomous,

dont know why im so high rn but i do know that i LOVE tears for fears. holy shit they’re so good. fuck man you’re right it is a very very mad world.

here's one i found a while back while sharing a box of these with my friend, brought me great joy

did you know they started printing contrasting words on either side of sweettarts? like bold and calm, local and global, head and heart? i did not, so you can imagine how startled i was to look down while eating my discount candy and see this:

They should install public grappling hook points

whi am i always taking melatonin and them trying ti fight it, bro you WANTED to bev sleepky

I like my men like i like my coffee: mysterious omens of disaster that will kill you in high dosage

also it’s always like “hey im jessica, this is my baby, his name is chainsaw slasher, he is made of titanium, spinning blades, and fire. i love him dearly” vs “im karter, this is my vile creation, it’s called princess pinky sparkles the kitten bot, it is covered in rinestones and throws glitter at its oponents, god hates me for creating it but is too afraid to challenge me.” and then princess pinky sparkles the kitten bot demolishes chainsaw slasher while both the creators watch with glee

competitive sports are not my thing at all but holy fuck i love bot fights- killing machines with googly eyes beat the shit out of each other while the nerds controlling them look absolutely giddy? 10/10 fucking incredible entertainment

there is a mercy from the universe in me having the stupidest sneeze ever but also not having hay-fever or any animal allergies. i am thankful for it everyday.

im so sad right now but ☝️ i also know many cool things

i made the mistake of saying "stop showing me the flesh hat man" out loud and realising it fit the tune of the muffin man and now that's stuck in my head, thoroughly against my will

"the internet is so big, all the information in the world is at your fingertips" yeah except for the information i am looking for such as "whats the normal amount of joint pain at my age". at least i can look at photos of creatures