Every Day I Resist The Urge To Chime Into Stranger’s Conversations But Man Is It Hard Sometimes

perhaps a comedically large mallet to the head will save me

people in my dreams are so mean sometimes...i created you dude, can you chill?

i should give my piss boy plush piercings because york is pork now

a beetle just landed on my breast and then instantly died. not sure if my boob was too powerful or if it sought my bosom as a soft resting place, i hope it was the latter so it may have died at peace

i should be allowed to give some of my gender dysphoria to cis people, as a treat for me. first person id give it to is fictional character nathan ford from leverage, id like to see how hed react. he'd probably trail off in the middle of sentences and then plan a heist about it but id like to know the specifics

i was made to do repetitive manual labour while telling stories to children, i yearn for butter churning and wood chopping and weaving.

i might not understand social queues but i can understand morse code, pigpen, and multiple lesser known ciphers

im like if an elderly man was barely a legal adult. im always complaining about back pain and being eccentric and walking off injuries instead of going to the doctor and using weird sayings and getting annoyed when people interrupt my daily rituals. but also i need to lie about my age on US alcohol websites

im like icarus but with better wings so i'll never fall

whenever a song says "carry on" i hear "carrion" and then i start thinking about vultures