🖌️

You should see how many bugs Hera brought around. She never did try to stuff flowers in my armor, although our part of Ryloth wasn’t exactly teeming with greenery.

For @rain-on-kamino a lovely Howzer with tiney ladybug friend! :)

consider joining Patreon for extra content!

hi have you ever had sex?

I mean... At least you said "hi" first...?

I'm gonna go ahead and leave this one up to you... Whatever you prefer to... uh... envision.

:Incoming Message from CT-3996, Guard Trooper Tumbler:

Vod to Vod, how do you maintain that hair style with the bucket? One of my fellow Guards is trying to replicate the style but it ends up looking like a rats den after wearing a bucket for eighteen hours.

- @corrie-guard-tumbler

Honestly, I think it's the humidity on Ryloth.

I had reason to be.

✨ GWUMPY ✨

😏

If Howzer was stationed on Ryloth for as long as I think most of us assumed, then he absolutely knows Twi’leki. Maybe he’s fluent, maybe he only knows the curse words, but he absolutely mumbles it under his breath whenever he’s mad, and Rex and Gregor are just like 👀🤷🏻‍♀️

No? Nothing to add?

Hello, Captain! I'd like to "Get To Know You."

How about: ⚡️ - Do you have any scars?

No, no, no...I'm just being silly (see Wolffe's Anon ask from earlier.) (By the way, your scars are beautiful.)

My real questions:

😂 - Are you ticklish?

🐷 - What’s your favourite animal?

Thanks!

Carol (@clonethirstingisreal)

I bet you would. 😉 Ergh... just kidding. That was funnier in my head.

⚡️ - Do you have any scars?

I did see Wolffe squirming at that ask... And while we both have distinguishing facial scars, we are battle-hardened soldiers, after all, and with the exception of Captain Rex on Saleucami, you've only seen the rest of us in armor or blacks, so...

😂 - Are you ticklish?

I would have to be an idiot to address that, because if I say no, there's always someone who wants to prove me wrong, and if I say yes, well... You can imagine what happens. Hera is the only one who knows, so let's keep it that way.

🐷 - What’s your favourite animal?

Definitely not a blurrg, I'll tell you that. I don't know... Haven't had much time around them, to be honest. I'm allergic to Tookas though.

Maybe someone thought you could use a reminder.

What kind of man is Howzer? 1000 word minimum MLA format due in an hour.

FIRST OF ALL, I opened this at 6am my time. Closed it, laid back down in bed... and my mind immediately started racing with a thesis, concrete details, and commentary.

Then I thought, "No one would read that... And you have so much to do this week... And writing time should be spent on the Hunter fic anyway... And that'd be a silly waste of time... And I think anon was joking..."

So, without further ado...

The body has a word count of 1124, and the entire work is available also in photographic form for those who are opposed to clicking a link. 😉

I expect compensation for this. 😉

Wow… He doesn’t even have the volume or texture that… nevermind.

realized these two have the same haircut, but we know who pulled it off better

daddy- sorry. Daddy?

Maybe Wolffe used your comm…

this is me jumping on the captain howzer simp train