Latest Posts by auggieoof - Page 7

Diary entry #3

Hoooooo boy I am shaking so bad. I generally have a level of "shake" that I usually have, always a little twitchy and I get terribly lightheaded, shaky, and have to sit so I don't fall whenever I stand up (usually if I do it quickly.) But like I'm shaking so hard that it's kinda hard to type. Why? My stomach hurts. Sometimes it's just like that when I get nauseous.

Speaking of things I should probably talk to a doctor about! I think I might have OCD. I get straight up awful thoughts and I sometimes have to do something to fix them. I have a back and forth in my head constantly and it's fucking exhausting!!! But I am afraid that I'll be not allowed to go on T if I get a diagnosis (I'm already autistic so that could be something they could deny me for maybe). (Also don't know if I explained properly, sorry)

Some dude on reddit told me I probably don't have OCD because I'm autistic, idk if he's right. I know you can have both but it's possible I'm mistaking my autistic thoughts for OCD thoughts.

Well that's it I guess

I've only seen you and your art for like 5 minutes and you've improved my life by at least like 5% ty

it’s autism 🎃🍁🍂🧡🦌

how it feels to be online these days

Diary entry #2

I want to make some pvz butcher vanity fanart SO BAD but for some reason I keep putting it off. I saw this post about not being able to put your blorbos in situations can be depression and like. yeah that's true.

Butcher Vanity is an amazing song btw

Probably gonna make some MAMA chicken ramen soon

I have underlying dysphoria that just seems to get worse every day. I look at men irl and online that are cool looking and I get so jealous it makes me angry. I'm still stuck in this shell I can hardly recognize, something that can be fixed or made better but I'm not allowed. I can't even cut my hair short for christ's sake.

Started Gravity Falls last night, gonna try to watch an episode a day; for some reason I have problems watching shows/playing videogames even if they're really good. When I was a little kid I didn't have that issue.

having viral posts is all fun and games until you have clowns in your mentions being like "well, op, i bet you also didn't know THIS" [haughtily explains something i absolutely would and do know] like add whatever to my posts that you think is informative just don't direct it at ME! i know! i just didn't include it in the post i made in 20 seconds because i didn't think 30,000 of you would see it!

this speaking as a cis person. Nothing brings me more joy seeing people find gender euphoria in becoming a mediocre representation of humanity. And I mean that so genuinely. Local boy finds joy and fulfillment wearing a cargo shorts and t-shirt combo. Local girl has transitioned to look like someone's disheveled aunt, has never been happier. Local person experiences gender euphoria rocking the world's worst bowl-cut. Without a scap of irony, this shit makes me see the wonder and whimsy in just, being a human. An average, person going through their day-to-day, is a wondrous thing? That's amazing. And heteronormativity has stripped these experiences of their joy. Like you're right, wearing a basic girlypop skirt should make my heart sing. Why not? Why are these expressions lesser because they're normal? All this to say. Shoutout to all the basic bitches out there. Yes that polo shirt does make you look like a divorced golfer dad. Yes, that too is kind of a slay, now that I think of it.

on wikipedia straight up "learning it". and by "learning it" i mean, lets just say.. information

It's so weird to me that Trans men and trans mascs are expected to be "better than cis men", because we lived (or still have to live) as women.

Like, JK Rowling is an awful person who is a woman. Both Nicki Minaj and Colleen Hoover defend their rapist family members . I shouldn't expect either of these people to be good people based off their gender and lived experiences because they are people and they're just as capable of being awful like everyone else. Terfs aren't suddenly devoid of being victims of misogyny when they spew terf shit.

So tell me why, trans men and mascs are held to this standard? Why must we do our best to be perfect little ken dolls while the rest of you get to be people?

You can argue this about us being demonized too but Im not gonna go into that today.

Diary entry #1 :)

I had a dream where I went through the timeline of my voice on T. Not on T yet, the dream made me so happy and I was so goddamn sad when I woke up. Also it had something to do with furbies, that's all I remember.

Sometimes I watch Jamie's (Jammidodger's) vid on his transition timeline and it makes me want to weep. I've basically had almost 4 years of my life stolen from me bc my grandparents are very unsupportive and I'm nearly to the finish line (getting T and getting my apartment) but it feels like I keep tripping on the track. I could've been nearly 4 years on T if my grandparents just fucking listened to me when I started questioning. Instead of thinking I'm a stupid "girl" who can't think for "herself".

But on a brighter note I'm learning how to drive and also have a job now. Like I said, close to the finish line. I kept on dissociating or something at my job, like my body is technically there vacuuming but I'm somewhere else entirely. Just feels like I'm wearing a suit that doesn't fit how I actually look, and my brain is really, really freaked out by it.

Starting a diary series! I'm starting today hope I stick with it lol

top surgery tats

This literally happened to me on a reddit post, I was bitching about my life (as usual) and some guy pulled up with the "buddy" and "boy" and was trying to be nice but was kinda infantilizing me. I didn't say anything bc I didn't want to ruin his day but it did make me uncomfortable. I'm not a toddler I'm a grown man and it does make me feel a little off y'know

challenge: there is a trans man. he is pre-medical transition. you must not infantilize him. go.

I don't think you're a trans ally until you accept trans people who don't want to transition. And I don't just mean medically.

I mean trans men who look indistinguishable from cis women and trans women who look indistinguishable from cis men and they're happy like that. Who have no intention of changing their style, presentation, or even pronouns.

Some women don't look like the stereotypical idea of "woman" and it's the same for men. But they're still men and women. I need you to understand that gender has no bearing on appearance and people's comfort in their own bodies is more important than the fictional idea of what manhood and womanhood looks like.

And, yes, some people can't transition due to disability or funds or whatever and they're included in this, yes. But you need to accept people who don't want to either. Who willingly make the choice to not transition in any way because that's how they're the most comfortable.

A trans person who doesn't transition is just as much their gender as anyone else of that same gender. Please get that through your head.

To any trans men who don't want to transition or change their appearance in any way: You're a man. You've always been a man. You will always be a man.

To any trans women who don't want to transition or change their appearance in any way: You're a woman. You've always been a woman. You will always be a woman.

The way your body looks doesn't matter in the slightest, your gender is real and legitimate and valid regardless of any other factors.

BTW today I met a person who's at least 50, uses they/it pronouns, and named themself Wyvern. It looks like if Santa was a biker and it plays D&D at the local library. Just a reminder that you can do whatever you want, forever.

Hello again

Am 19 now, not on T yet (unfortunately!!)

Here’s my epic autism moment- my pizza tower and PvZ ocs!!

Why is a plants vs zombies zombie oc trans? Because I said so, that’s why lmao. If a plant can go by they/them, surely a zombie can use pronouns. Idk lol

Anyways here’s the description of both of them-

Alice/August (he/him for both)-

They are my self-insert, with August being an alter-ego/transformed version of Alice (not actually my deadname.) I designed them with a noise/noisette kinda style. August is extroverted and courageous, while Alice is introverted and cowardly. When Alice feels confident and happy enough, they transform/switch into August. People think they are completely different people, but they at least share the same body. They’re kind of a representation of my online and offline self. Alice is usually called a “she”, but he’s a he. He doesn’t tell anyone what he goes by, and avoids the question whenever possible.

Nico (he/him)-

Nico is a zombie that is generally very intelligent compared to the others, but he is much less tough. He has a bit of a “zombie” accent, but tries to get speech therapy to get rid of the voice. He is the son of Dr. Edgar Zomboss, possibly explaining his above-average intelligence; it’s unknown if he has any siblings. Zomboss refuses to call him his son, referring to him as a “she” and by his deadname “Nicole”. Nico does not eat brains, but will occasionally eat pork brains as a sort of treat. He’s on the plants/humans side, and wants to defeat his father. He has an advantage, as he learned a lot about his father before he left his household so he knows a lot of his plans. Plants know not to attack him, as he’s pretty visually distinct.

[Start ID: First image is of my Pizza Tower oc, Alice/August. They have blonde hair, blue eyes, and wear glasses. August is who Alice tranforms into when he feels confident/happy enough. Alice wears a white shirt, blue jeans, and has his blond hair in a bob. August wears a teal cape, a binder, and cargo pants and has his blond hair short in a middle part. The second image is my plants vs zombies oc, Nico. He looks like a typical pvz zombie, except his pupils are slightly larger. He wears headphones, has brown hair, wears a white shirt with a binder underneath, wears cargo pants, and has a trans pride pin. /End ID]

"ohh what if my kid starts identifying as a CAT because of the trans agenda we have to prote—" well they've always done that. do you remember the psychological effects of h2o on young girls. of warrior cats on autistic children. i believed i was a demigod because of percy jackson. twilight came out and kids were telling their friends they were secretly vampires. this is just a thing kids do. worry less

I’M BACK BITCHES

Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.

It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.

Basically all of the characters from Pizza Tower are incredibly gender frfr

Nah but let’s talk abt how ppl use disability terms/harmful stereotypes/ derogatory words so casually this disabled pride month (tw ableism below)

The new terms are “sch*zoposting” and “delulu” but shit like this has been around for years and it’s so incredibly frustrating.

Another example is those TikTok POVS about “the weird kid in class” but they are all stereotypes of autistic ppl.

Or the misuse of the word triggered, the misuse of the word OCD, the misuse of gaslighting, of cr*pple, “are you deaf?” “Are you blind?” “Hellen Keller isn’t real.” I could go on and on but I will simply say this.

Disabled people are real people with feelings, emotions and lives. We deserve to use the terms that we need to COMFORTABLY. We deserve to exist without people taking the language used in the context of ourselves and putting it in a negative light.

We deserve to exist.

We deserve happiness.

Check in on your disabled friends.

Don’t assume things about people you don’t know.

I am very stupid :)

Not like my grandparents would let me be a “tomboy” anyways lmao. They won’t let me even wear cargo pants. The problem is, I’m not a girl! So I can’t pretend to be one!

Dark room shower supremacy ‼️

Tw- transphobia

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Talking to a therapist lady and my grandma goes “”she”” wants to transgender. SHE WANTS TO TRANSGENDER. Fucking hilarious but not so funny when you realize she doesn’t support me at all. She thinks it’s some sort of trend or choice? Or something? I don’t really know. I mean I kinda get it sorta because I change my mind very quickly on things but transitioning isn’t, like, a super fast process… you don’t have to jump to T right away, it can start slow! Also I’ve known I was trans for about two years now. But this means I *might* be able to change her mind… idk though. All I want is to feel comfortable in my own skin but I suppose that’s too much to ask. Also the therapist lady asked if I was influenced by anything… bruh. I’ve known for two years at this point, if this was a hyperfixation it would’ve been gone by now. Sorry that I prefer to be called “he” I guess. Now I’m doubting myself, but maybe that was the point. I don’t know what else to add, so post over I guess.

You. Are. worthy.

Even if you never drive. Even if you need help with basic tasks. Even if you need help with hygiene. Even if you’ll never work. Even if you’ll need help for the rest of your life. You’re. Still. Worthy.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re useless, or that you don’t deserve certain things. You’re amazing, and I see you.

[Start ID: (tw suicide, briefly mentioned! Also family issues/transphobia.) a comic with OP as the character (medium/long hair, male, with glasses and button up shirt). First panel is him looking content, with an arrow pointing to him saying “completely fine”. Second panel has him looking devastated, with text behind him that reads “I have no friends or family to rely on. The world is burning, horrible people rule the world, and the ones that aren’t completely horrible are at least complicit in my suffering. Every “happy”moment I spend with my family is ruined by the fact that they don’t support me, and don’t think I’m capable of doing anything. I can’t die, because I refuse to be buried as a girl, so I have to suffer in silence with no one to help. Even when I (hopefully) move out and transition, what if I’m just faking it and my family doesn’t take me back? Best case scenario is that I get a found family, and good friends/maybe a partner, but for several years I will have nobody and will be mocked endlessly by my blood “family.” I am truly alone on this barren earth.” The third panel is the same as the first, with him standing there content with an arrow pointing at him saying “completely fine”. /End ID]

Tw- suicide, briefly mentioned! Also family issues/transphobia

Middle text if it’s hard to read: I have no friends or family to rely on. The world is burning, horrible people rule the world, and the ones that aren’t completely horrible are at least complicit in my suffering. Every “happy”moment I spend with my family is ruined by the fact that they don’t support me, and don’t think I’m capable of doing anything. I can’t die, because I refuse to be buried as a girl, so I have to suffer in silence with no one to help. Even when I (hopefully) move out and transition, what if I’m just faking it and my family doesn’t take me back? Best case scenario is that I get a found family, and good friends/maybe a partner, but for several years I will have nobody and will be mocked endlessly by my blood “family.” I am truly alone on this barren earth.