Diary Entry #1 :)

do you want to see a random species of bird

I can't help anyone until I move out since my grandma checks my card history, and I'm not allowed to give out anything, but I wanted to boost this.

I really fear that I'm gonna be in this exact situation soon when I move out. I'm autistic, have not a lot of life skills, and although I can work I don't have college experience and that worries me. But I have no choice but to move out, or face literal death. I don't know sorry

if ur posting "trans people you have to survive" go do something about it? how many homeless trans people have u materially helped today? nothing changed right now. we been suffering already. where the fuck have u been every day that's not election day

Diary Entry #20

I got a binder and two packers!!! Too bad I can't wear them basically anywhere lmao but still. I cleaned my room with my binder on. I was so worried it wasn't making me flat enough, i mean it doesn't matter now but when I go on T it might.

I made sure to order the right size but after like an hour of wearing it I still kinda hurt. But I'm okay now (it's my second time wearing it, first time wearing it for any significant amount of time.)

I went down a very brief spiral (brief being like 15 minutes tops) where I was like "OH MY GOD WHAT IF I'M NOT TRANS." But looking back, I think it's because my binder didn't make me like 100% flat, more like I have pecs or maybe gynomastia and I'm pretty sure now that's what it was.

But seeing me in pictures with my binder (with my face/hair mostly cropped out) on made me super happy, it's just that looking at me irl still makes me think I look very fem because I still have these fem characteristics and it makes me feel kinda bad. My spiral was not very rational.

I think the thought "what if my binder doesn't actually bind enough?? What if I still look like I have a large chest??" isn't actually very cis, looking back on it. I'm gonna post some pictures of me in a shirt with and without the binder and let y'all be the judge. I think I'm just freaking out over nothing, but I can't stop thinking like that. Under the cut btw, first pic with binder second pic w/o.

There will not be much of my own art on this blog unless it specifically relates to my transition journey. Which is what this one is. It is my current daily mantra and what I tell myself every day on the calendar I cross off as each sleep brings me closer to meeting the folks that will give me some of these scars. Which is why I put in multiple examples in different colors. Because I will die scarred, not scared.

Welp. Reddit is dead, and I’m not sure if anyone is willing to reanimate its corpse. Reddit was the only place I could be myself, vent about my issues, stuff like that. Tumblr doesn’t fill the same void in my heart, but it’s decent enough. Hope I can make friends here. I’ll miss my moots over there. RIP aspiememes, traa, and many others. I feel like this collapse will have terrible consequences.

TLDR- i am so sad

This is so me. I feel like I was a little boy, not a little girl when I was a kid. I was allowed to have any hobbies I wanted, masculine or feminine mostly bc of my dad. I loved Sonic and Mario, videogames in general, anime, etc. So that kind of helped me to view my childhood as more masculine, but obviously it doesn't mean that anyone with my type of childhood wasn't a boy as a kid, but I hope you know what I mean.

I just hope that one day this flesh shell will fit the young man that I am inside.

Ty for the end portion, it's nice to hear :)

to be honest, i don't see myself as someone transitioning into a man. it's more like, i've always been a man but now i am transitioning outside of the female life i was put upon. of course, it's no one's fault that i was raised as a woman. i was assigned female at birth because of my sex, but sex is completely different from gender. gender is something we learn, something that comes from within. i knew i was different as a child when i looked up to male cartoon characters, despised stereotypical female clothing, wanted to be bigger and muscular, envied the boys who would have good looks and get all the girls yet had a disgusting personality, etc. i've always been a boy, nothing will change that. and as the years go by, my manhood will be more prominent. you cannot hide, soon you will be discovered. it is impossible to go against your true self, i have detransitioned before and the manliness in me never went away. try all you want, but the little boy inside you is begging to be free. love yourself, do not be ashamed. it is okay to be happy. you are deserving of freedom 🫶 🏳️‍⚧️

The only thing scary about Halloween this year are these temperatures! Ha ha ha! *pulls the mic close* I'm going to start killing oil executives

when you get into a new hyperfixation but there's NO fandom<<<<<<<<<<

Headcannon time: There are several scenes in games where Lu is shown sleeping so I’ve decided that Luigi is a nappy, sleepy boy! He can fall asleep anywhere at anytime and loves to doze off whenever he can!

A huge art page of me messing with my ManPepper design's expressions. What a charming, award winning smile. VuV