Tf2 Headcanons - Blog Posts

TF2 headconnons: Sniper!

Sniper is a pretty good cook. His specialty is stake and he makes a mean stew. He can't bake for shit tho.

Knitting (I don't know who stated it but I wanna kiss you) He definitely made everyone scarves for smissmas.

surprisingly flexible, definitely not the most flexible of the group but he's up there.

he's such a fuckin' mamma's boy.

Enjoys his alone time, but will isolate himself from everyone if someone doesn't pull him out of it.

While Sir Hootsalot is the only bird that has stuck around, Snipetr has tended to quite a few birds over the years.

RED Sniper prefers a quick and swift kill, usually a headshot. Blue Sniper on the other hand loves watching his targets struggle before putting them out of their misery.

RED Sniper hates BLU Sniper for the previous reason.

RED Sniper has an outgrown shag haircut and BLU Sniper had a simple short haircut.

Oh I am in LOVE with these headcanons! I found the mention of wondering how much of his personality at the base is an act as well an incredibly intriguing idea, and a fun one at that.

That, and the description near the end of him being “the friendly face on the other side of the street” or “the guy you run into at the grocery store that turns towards you and tells a bunch of jokes in a row and it’s so weirdly pathetic and charming at the same time you can’t help but laugh” puts him in such a familiar but different light that I had never really thought of him in, but that makes PERFECT sense to his character.

While in the comics he’s portrayed as a bit of an annoying loudmouth before getting a more genuine characterization near the end (or the issue before the end, anyway), the characterization you wrote sort of fits that more developed personality in the later comics alongside him in the games.

I just. Hgh. The idea of him being that good at manipulating people in his most comfortable environment (or is it even manipulating people? More-so himself) is SUPER cool and fitting to me, and also fits the autism headcanon where he’s just learned to mask incredibly well while remaining unfazed by deeper attempts to fit in with his peers since he’s just not interested in it—keeping him genuine and earnest, if that makes sense?

Having written that, it gave me the idea that maybe the longer he spends with the mercs as their unusual mercenary found family, the easier it becomes for him to manipulate on the field.

Thinking about how that’d translate, I imagine that he’s learned how to speak to enemy team members the same way he’s been spoken to for months or even years. He’ll ask questions with a more cutting tone towards the enemy Engineer using vocabulary he picked up from his own. He doesn’t always get it right, but more often than not he can waltz into enemy territory and as long as he’s not posing a threat during an active battle, he can end up making (tense) conversation with the opposite team.

Additionally, my initial idea was that the other mercenaries notice that he’s a little more careful in the enemy base, knowing better what turf is closest guarded, especially since he’s a predominantly flanking class.

Will reblog with more ideas about the above topic.

Scout has incredible street smarts! While it seems irrelevant in the base dropped in the middle of nowhere, he is invaluable during contract missions located within urban areas.

He can notice an undercover cop in a second, distinguish accents, recognize a scam happening, pinpoint a drug dealer who looks like a sweet old granny and see the signs of some group's terf markings. The team is looking for some local hotshot and they have no leads? Scout runs to the downtown and locates the first bodega/laundromat/bar/gas station/pizza parlor, blends in and befriends some entry-position-apprentice who gives him all the info he needs.

South Boston is the top school in the world for the street-smarts and Scout graduated it with honors.

yep! while scout has resigned himself to the position of “the stupid one” alongside a crowd of extremely talented, socially awkward PhD owners, once somebody finally has the idea that he seems good at talking and drags him along on a mission they figure out pretty quick that holy shit this kid is good at talking.

Engie’s usually the negotiator if they need one at all, mostly because he knows how to say please and thank you when it seems necessary, but he still has sort of a… distrustful aura around him. the accent’s disarming, sure, and does a great job pushing through a crowd of white middle-aged church moms, but it turns out there are a lot of parts where a moderately-wealthy-looking fourty-year-old white man with a little bit of a weird glint in his eyes ain’t really that welcome. so they might send scout in, since he really, really wants to go in and they’re all out of options (unless they want to send sniper, and he’d probably leave the building having bitten at least four people on reflex)—and when he comes back out he’s got everything they need to know, plus some free snacks, plus an invite to some teenage boy’s birthday party.

it turns out that little air of authenticity goes a long way—and the team watches him flip from polite upstanding church-boy cashier to poor sad orphan boy on the streets to egregiously annoying emotional armor-shredding “class clown” in what seems like seconds, and I guess it should occur to someone at some point that he’s spent his entire life figuring out how to blend in places like that and get what he wants.

(everybody would joke he got the ‘good actor’ gene from spy, if it didn’t just make them sad. also, a few people see him effortlessly skating his way person-to-person, molding his conversational targets like putty, and wonder exactly how much of an act he might be putting on back at the base, too.)

addendum: of all the characters he is able to axt in, “suave” or “ladykiller” or anything along those lines is not one of them. please don’t get me wrong. he’s the friendly face you see on the other end of the sidewalk, or the guy you run into at the grocery store that turns towards you and awkwardly tells a whole bunch of jokes in a row and it’s so weirdly pathetic and charming at the same time you can’t help but laugh, but he’s still terrible at romance, and as a matter of fact most things Involving charisma in general. he just takes advantage of that sad wet kitten energy, you know? it works out

somebody's definitely made this joke already but i think scout in all his early 2000's whiteboy swag would definitely fucking smoke DDR. he'd be one of those freaks that are straight up just breakdancing on the arrows. breaking it down transgender style. you guys understand what im aiming at

I think the TF2 mercs take turns giving pep talk to the team before match, and they almost equally suck at it. Soldier is too patriotic, Engie - too strategic, Spy - too pretentious, that sort of thing.

The only person whose speeches the team actually loves is Demo. He makes no sense but he puts his entire soul and pussy into it. He says shit like "Lads... Today ya have'ta ask yerself... are ya a man? Or an imitation of man? D'ya go oot there with fire in yer eye and fight in yer soul, or d'ya yield like a sorry buncha loosers?! A' say today we take all th'bombs and rockets and shove them up the BLU's arses! Thus begins our thousand year reign of blood!" and everyone loses their goddamn mind.

Can you write how support class confess their feeling/ask out their s/o. :))) (gender neutral by the way)

I’ve been getting back into TF2 recently and have so many good asks in here, AGH—

Sorry for how long it takes me to get to these, it entirely depends on motivation and how I’m feeling on a given day, haha.

SUPPORT CLASSES & THEIR CONFESSIONS:

Sniper:

Sniper has a lot harder of a time sorting out his emotions than the others.

Seeing his S/O is one of the few things that gets the battle-hardened mercenary’s guard to slip, and he knows it. He finds it hard to come to terms with it, especially with the fear that those feelings might not be reciprocated.

For a long time, he stays silent on it. He’s always tried to keep himself levelheaded, but whenever his thoughts come around to the idea of confessing he feels like he just can’t keep his head on straight.

He eventually manages to figure out a vague plan for what to do, and it immediately flies out of the window when a much better opportunity presents itself.

On a full moon night, the two of you are sitting on top of his camper, stargazing. Without even thinking, he slowly sits up and watches as you follow the movement.

Taking his S/O’s hand, he delivers a frankly wholesome and profound confession. They have to catch it through the amount of pauses and stutters and backtracks, but he cares so much that he becomes overwhelmed.

The two make it official that night.

Medic:

He’s either shockingly closed off about it, or overwhelmingly open before he even confessed it outright.

Communication is important, and the doctor tends to be pretty blunt about how he feels most of the time unless he recognizes that he shouldn’t be in a given situation.

That being said, regardless of how he acts beforehand; the confession itself definitely happens during a surgery or an equally inopportune time for anyone but Medic himself.

He probably doesn’t give his S/O his heart, but he might give them somebody else’s! Or he talks about them much more highly and much more frequently than usual while they work together or one is in the room.

Unless his S/O is completely clueless or oblivious to his cues, chances are they knew far beforehand and he’s just using this opportunity to be absolutely clear about how he feels about them. His doting leads to a true confession, but it’s very brief and to the point—no skirting around the edges.

Spy:

Spy knows himself. He’s had many lovers in his time, he knows how it feels, and he knows how it ends.

Or, at least, he thinks he does.

Having resigned to the fact that he likes his S/O, maybe even loves them, he begins to stay around them a lot more often than before.

Spy doesn’t enjoy being open, especially as someone who can’t always trust another—no matter how blinded by feelings either party is. So while he’s resigned to it, he’s still quite wary.

Instead of confessing with words, he confesses with actions. Gifts, dates, kisses, subtle moves like brushing hands as he moves past or discreetly whispering a compliment while others are nearby—he’s content to do it that way, but if his S/O is still stumped, he may just have to bite the bullet and say it outright.

It takes him a lot of courage to do it, but eventually he brings his S/O into another room, probably his smoking lounge as it provides the most privacy and sits them down.

His speech is slow at first, almost methodical as he tries to keep himself from spilling any details that might be used against him in the future.

It doesn’t work.

Once the floodgates open, there’s no holding it back. He pours his emotions, his love, his thoughts, his compliments out in front of them. His desire to be with his S/O far surpasses anyone else he’s been with before, and it shows in everything he does from that point on.

Around other people, he’s far more subtle about it. But the second they’re not being watched, the second it’s official, they’re both uncharacteristically open with each other. It’s quite wholesome, actually.

Could I perhaps get engineer, sniper and demoman with an autistic S/O who got really overstimulated and Is Not Okay? I need,,, for purposes.

Yes, yes you can!!!

Demo, Engineer, and Sniper with an overstimulated autistic S/O:

Demo:

Demo recognizes that his S/O is overstimulated pretty quickly. The base is always messy regardless of any attempts to clean it, there’s a lot of noise, especially chatter and gunfire during the day and even moreso at night during complaining or celebrating with the entire team.

“Ye alright? Ach, who am I kidding, ye look right terrible at the moment, love. No offense.”

He takes his S/O to somewhere quieter, probably his room as there’s at least some sense of familiarity and homeliness there for he and his S/O.

As someone who needs quiet to focus on tinkering without blowing something up, he’s got some ways of keeping the room from just being the equivalent of another hallway thanks to the paper thin walls.

If it still doesn’t help, he sticks by his S/O’s side and refuses to move away for the others until they’re able to process things more clearly again.

If they’re stimming to try and release the tension and overwhelming energy of the situation, he’ll literally just start mirroring them and stimming as well.

If they need something to focus on that isn’t their surroundings, he’s got a large amount of folklore and myths he can talk for hours about instead of whatever jabbering caused them to be overwhelmed in the first place.

Engineer:

Once he figures out what’s going on, he quickly tries to diffuse things and get his S/O to a place where they feel more comfortable.

Engineer commands a lot of respect, and most of the mercs know not to challenge him when he puts on a genuine serious face and asks for things to be done.

Quiet down, hush now fellas, can one of ya’ll get S/O a blanket? Hm? Yeah, they said somethin’ to hold would do.

Does his best to balance their current needs with social interaction; since he’s aware that taking them out of it entirely might cause them to break down further.

Instead, he lassos in the conversation and quiets things down as much as possible, then reduces the amount of stimuli by sending a glare to anyone making more noise than necessary.

As for sensations, he’ll hold his S/O’s hand if it helps, usually with his normal hand unless they prefer the feeling of metal, wiring, and electric circuitry to focus on. Warm or cold, his hand envelops theirs and acts as an anchor.

If anyone dares pipe up about it or anything else related to the situation, he’ll keep his cool. That is, until next time they need his help on the battlefield.

Sniper:

While he doesn’t necessarily understand a lot about it, Sniper is still very familiar with needing and wanting his space, where things are just how he wants them. Regardless of if he consciously realizes it or not, he might actually be the best person to go to about it when his S/O is having a rough time and is overstimulated.

At first, he’ll probably try things that help him calm down, but if a lukewarm cup of coffee and a polishing kit don’t assist—or taking a hike into the nearest area empty of people—then he’ll start quietly asking questions while internally panicking.

He doesn’t want to overwhelm his S/O further, but he also wants to fix or make the situation a bit better for them. Afraid that he’ll make it worse, he kind of ends up awkwardly throwing ideas at the wall to see what sticks.

Whatever ends up appearing to work first is what he doubles down on, before trying to branch out from there. If his S/O manages to calm down a little, he thinks, then they can help him help them a little more too.

It’s a very slow but sure process, and he gets there eventually. By the time he figures out what works, it’s probably far past when they were too overstimulated to function. After that point he’ll know what to do and is much quicker and more confident about lending a helping hand.

If they’re getting overstimulated and it’s just the two of them, he’ll do his weird too-long-legs thing and hug them to him in a way where they’re closed off and safe in his arms. He’ll end up a bit flustered about it later, but they calm down a lot more quickly that way since he’s able to just shut them off and ground their brain to the hug instead of what’s bothering them. It’s not foolproof, but it’s shocking how often it works.

This was a lot of fun to write! I hope I got this right and did well with the prompt, haha. Personally going with what would be nice when I’m overstimulated, though I don’t believe I’ve shut down fully because of it. That must suck a lot when it happens :(

The last one about Sniper is a personal tidbit I think would work really well on me, because I imagine what he does is like a really comfortable tight hug where noises are kinda shut out and the pressure would kinda keep you from moving y’know?

It’s like the ultimate “calm the FU—“ move and I love it but it also looks like it’d be really comfortable ;—;

Can you write how spy, demo, medic are when they are jealous? (Separate) (tf2 gender neutral s/o fluff)

I think you sent in the request twice, I do tend to see asks though I saw one in there I almost definitely missed—either way; if it was you please don’t try and send in duplicate requests to get them filled! Not mad, just letting people know for future reference. ^^

To be fair, I just noticed that the other one asked for all support classes! So once again, sorry if it was just a case of two people sending in similar asks.

Demo, Medic, and Spy when Jealous:

Demo:

Demo honestly isn’t a jealous person in general!

He’s pretty chill and understanding, not to mention incredibly loyal to friends, family, and a possible S/O.

However, if he’s got a mad headache, or if he’s sick or unwell, he’ll definitely unknowingly become jealous if his S/O is taking care of anyone else.

His S/O is absolutely taking great care of him while he’s sick, but the second they start talking to somebody else, assuming he’s sick enough to be out of it, would assume he’s been forgotten.

It’s mostly a silly thing, though. He doesn’t get mad, he just grumbles a bit at whoever is taking the attention of his S/O away from him.

(This is also because he’s like a cat, and his S/O has been petting his hair for a good while, but don’t tell that to anyone else.)

Medic:

If Medic is jealous, he hardly ever realizes it. He’s always a bit too hung up on his experiments, thoughts and ideas to really entertain the idea of his feelings getting mixed up.

Surely he’d notice them, but would probably chalk it up to being tired or overworked. He’ll do his best to spend more time with his S/O during times like these.

He’ll find he’s not enjoying himself if they’re at a bar or anywhere social where his S/O is actively interacting with too many people.

Not because he’s angry that they’re enjoying themselves; but because he begins to think that he’s not doing enough.

Seeing as he’s often in his office or in the infirmary performing surgeries, he admits to himself that he probably doesn’t spend as much time with his S/O as he ought to. They’re fully within their right to want to be with other people.

He doesn’t assume they want to leave him behind, though. It’s more of a self reflection moment. The more attention he gives his S/O, the more he’ll receive in return.

Other folks finally end up noticing Medic when he puts his head over their shoulder with a sharp grin, swinging over to their side of the conversation. A clear reminder that they’re taken, and a few of the ones that initially appeared to not have bad intent back off.

The rest of the night is spent with the real new friends.

Spy:

Now spy? He’s smart. He has reason. But the second he begins to doubt that his S/O has faith in him or notices that they’re enjoying the presence of somebody other than him, all reason drops out of the window.

His mind goes into overdrive. Scouring his memories for every single mention of things they like or love most. Drop money on something cool or expensive. Buy a bouquet of flowers. Arrange a fancy dinner or a date.

If he ever suspects somebody to be trying to take his S/O away from him, (and yes, he does trust his S/O and knows that they love him, he’s just dramatic), then he becomes extremely open and dramatic in PDA.

Subtlety is the way of the Spy, and Spy is not subtle at all.

Bring them into a slow dance, bring them into a kiss, keep their arms interlocked, say something romantic in French, anything he knows they’re okay with.

It’s a way of showing himself and others that this person is undoubtedly his. He knows it’s ridiculous, but as somebody with trust issues, it’s his one way of proving to himself and his S/O that his trust runs deeply enough to do something like that.

His S/O may not have the same issues with trusting other people as he does, but they should understand that his displays of affection are a way of confirming that yes, this is real, no, he isn’t lying about any of this, and nothing could come between them.

This one didn’t quite turn out the way I was expecting, so hopefully this fits the prompt well enough! I honestly just think trust is a big factor in relationships. :]

how would the mercs react to someone they know really well (like family) coming out to them as genderfluid?? ur writing is 😔👌 btw

Thank you so much! I hope I wrote this well, if you’d like me to make a change or two let me know!

For simplicities sake, I’m going to go with close friend that they’d consider family, knowing each other that well.

Also, the pov changes halfway through and I don’t feel like rewording it; I’ve realized I like doing second person a lot so I hope that’s alright!!!

Scout:

“You drink gender???”

Jokes aside, Scout may have a bit of trouble wrapping his head around it at first. For him, it makes a lot of sense, but it’s a change that takes time for him to adjust to since he has a habit of speaking before he thinks.

Still, Scout always makes sure to ask their pronouns whenever they show up, and is unabashedly loud and proud whenever gender comes up in conversation.

He constantly makes positive comments that reaffirm whatever they choose to go by for the moment. It can get a bit overbearing at times, but he means well.

Soldier:

Immediately picks them up and swings them in a circle while hugging them. “AFFIRMATIVE! That you are, and I LOVE you for it!”

Probably the loudest about it, but if they aren’t out yet to certain people, he’s surprisingly loyal and will make a vow of silence if it means not outing them if they don’t want to be outed.

However, if someone tries to pick a fight? It’s on. Soldier will send them flying into orbit for the people closest to him.

Incredibly supportive, proud, and energetic about it.

Pyro:

Pyro completely understands from the get-go, even if they can’t say it through the mask.

To show they care, they immediately envelop their friend in a hug and shower them with love and acceptance.

They use crayons to draw their close friend, give them gifts and flowers, and overall do their best to show they care.

Will show up with a fire axe if anyone tries to purposefully misgender their friend or try to instigate a fight. They’re yelling muffled insults at whoever dared try and fight their best friend.

Demo:

Gives his friend a clap on the back, with a huge smile on his face.

“Took ye long enough!”

He always suspected, but didn’t want to ask out of fear of scaring them into deciding to come out too early, or making them uncomfortable.

Obviously, “took you long enough” is a lighthearted joke, and he’s fully willing to support his friend—practically a sibling—until the very end.

Always asks what they’re going by today before he ever uses pronouns, and sticks to them from the get-go. If he ever does make a mistake, he immediately corrects it and moves on without making a scene, as much as he breaks over it later out of embarrassment.

Overall, probably the best one to come out to first. He’ll provide a shoulder to lean on when they’re sad or unsure, maybe even insecure; but will always step forwards in defense of them whenever possible. He knows not to cause a scene unless they’re truly upset over someone misgendering or teasing them so as not to upset them even more. He will, however, exhibit a cold anger not commonly seen in someone with such a warm and friendly demeanor when it does happen.

If he can cause a scene over it, you bet there’s going to be fireworks.

More beneath the cut:

Engineer:

Wholly accepting of this! Does a similar thing to Pyro where he just wraps his arms around his friend and hugs them tightly; although in a much warmer and softer manner.

Wipes a tear from his eye.

“Proud o’ ya, real proud…”

He’s humbled by the fact that they came out to him first. Plans a barbecue as a celebration, maybe even buys a few gifts! It’s a huge deal to him that somebody so close to him came out like that, and he’s going to make sure everybody else feels the same way too.

He has a metal arm. If somebody fucks with them, he will not hesitate.

Heavy:

Heavy is perceptive. He picks up on it immediately, but like demo doesn’t ask out of respect.

He immediately socks someone in the jaw if they purposefully use the wrong pronouns, or make an offensive joke about his friend.

If it’s an uncomfortable comment or joke, he exhibits the same caliber of cold anger, but to an extreme. Seeing as he’s like a personal bodyguard in terms of intimidation factor alone, him hovering behind you with a stormy expression is enough to scare most people off.

Is always open to talk to them, and is a great listener. He’s great at offering an interesting subject or topic, maybe a book and tea if they need a distraction from dysphoria or somebody getting to them.

Rather serious about it, Heavy won’t tend to make light hearted jokes about the topic of gender, instead taking a very open but grounded approach to it.

“It does not exist. Is too narrow. Little person can use whatever works best.”

Medic:

“Ah! Let me add that to your file… I assume no surgery, then?”

He’s not disappointed by the prospect of not being able to trans your gender, but also gets to work on other ways of affirming your own!

Doesn’t really treat you any differently, but will work on an experiment to let you change your appearance based on what makes you feel best in the background.

Gives you the option of using it, but lets the topic go otherwise unless something is wrong or if you bring it up; regardless of if he’s giddy to know if it works or not.

Very chill about this stuff. He’s probably one to the better/best people to talk to about it, but know that he also won’t provide much comfort as much as he will facts or potential solutions.

In fact, he almost comes across as distant until he suddenly drops a shockingly down to earth suggestion or a really, really good idea to help you out. Nothing too crazy, it’s almost uncanny.

Thing is, he’s just been dealing with gender problems for… His entire life? He’s already far enough along in his own that he’s perfected his methods of staving it off.

Even if you’re not feeling dysphoria, (or you are), it doesn’t matter to him as long as you can get through it safely.

Sniper:

It takes Sniper a little bit to get used to it, to be sure. It’s not that he doesn’t care, he’s just not used to dealing with the unexpected.

He feels guilty for it being unexpected to him. He sees you as somebody very, very close to him; he feels dense for not noticing it sooner.

As soon as he settles into it, though, expect him to be as loyal as a dog. Any mistakes he silently corrects, and if somebody gets in their way, they’ll be meeting a jar of piss to the face.

Honestly, Sniper probably begins to have some of his own self realizations soon after, but it takes a long time for him to come to terms with that one.

Ends up shyly asking you for advice eventually.

Spy:

He already knew. I mean, what did you expect?

He is, however, surprised that you decided to come out to him first. If anything, he’s a bit prideful.

Emotions masked well, he pours the two of you a drink (whichever is your favorite) in a fancy wine glass, and raises his own, offering cheers for the occasion.

Clink!

Definitely calm about it, but tones down his snark temporarily. He knows how nerve-wracking it must be; although there is humor to be found that you voluntarily told your secret to the man who knows just about everything about everyone. Whether or not that trust is misguided, he can’t exactly say.

If you aren’t out to the others yet, or anybody else for that matter, the secret is safe with him. There’s no doubt that Spy is the best with pronouns, seamlessly switching between preferences depending on whether you’re in a safe space or not.

It’s also the easiest way to know if you’re really, truly safe as well; because his heightened awareness of his surroundings means that he can tell if he might out you even when it seems like the coast is clear.

Even if you don’t care about being out to anybody, Spy makes sure to subtly ask if he’s good to use your pronouns in any given situation outside of what you may be accustomed to. He doesn’t slip up once. Not once. Literally never—

The Spy may be stinky, but words are his forte. He can curse you out in 12 different languages including French but you know damn well he’ll use the right pronouns while doing so!

Phew, this one took a while. I hope I did alright on this one! I apologize if there’s any glaring issues or mistakes in this one, I worked on it over the course of what, a few months?—with lots of breaks in-between.

Thank you to everyone for being so patient! I hope to put out more content sometime in the future, but I know that I’ll likely be slowing down like this as I deal with life stuff and other hyperfixations.

I might make another post with other hyperfixations that I might be up to making headcanons for! Feel free to request those too! :D

Hello! So I have this OC i ship with Sniper, and I was wondering if you could write prompts for Scout or any of the other team members trying to get Sniper and a reader in general together. Thanks, and love your prompts!

Sure can do, and thanks so much! The compliments mean a lot to me :•) lol this idea was fun to work with, I wrote a lot more than I thought I would! I hope it’s not too rambly lol

Scout and the mercs being Sniper’s wingmen

No TWs

Scout and Sniper’s friendship is actually stronger than one might think, considering it all started because Scout refused to stop pestering the Aussie. Eventually Sniper got used to it, and Scout basically adopted him as his introverted friend. They don’t always hang out but they’re definitely close!

The Bostonian is not always the most observant, so he doesn’t exactly catch on to the tension between Sniper and you until he’s questioning why the Aussie’s been ditching him to hang with you.

“What, you got like a crush on ‘em or somethin’?”

“…”

“… wait, no way— actually?? You have a crush?? On them??!”

“Oi, shut your trap, ya damn weasel!”

The furious blush that grows on Mick’s face, and the lack of an outright denial, are enough for Scout to absolutely tease the shit out of him. It’s likely that the entire team will find out about Sniper’s crush on you simply from Scout’s teasing. He likes to make kissy faces mockingly behind your back when the man speaks to you, especially.

The other mercs tease him too, but none are as relentless (or as vulgar) as Scout.

“You know they’re waaayy out of your league, right?”

“…Yeah, I know.”

That’s what ultimately strikes a chord with Scout. He was only joking, but Sniper wasn’t. Mick doesn’t… think very highly of himself to begin with. He’s certainly not boyfriend material in his eyes, and you’re like perfection personified. There’s no way you’d settle for a bloke like him.

Scout hates seeing someone he cares about wallow in self pity like that, and he feels pretty shitty for going too far with his teasing. So, his apology? He’s going to play Sniper’s wingman and get him a hot date (despite Sniper’s protests).

At first, Scout tries to big up Sniper the way he big up himself. He tells you anytime he does well on the field as he’s especially proud of his work. But he also tries to make Sniper seem “cooler” the same way Jeremy tries to make himself seem cooler, which… leads to some slight lying. He gets halfway through his very over dramatized story about Mick winning a bar fight against five dudes the size of Saxton Hale before the Aussie pushes Scout out of the room and apologizes to you for his behaviour. You both get a laugh out of it at least!

Scout tries to recall everything Spy had taught him from Expiration Date, except he’s mostly forgotten half of what he said and Sniper’s certain that the bucket of chicken trick is not going to work on you. Jeremy argues that no, it will because who doesn’t like a bucket of chicken??

But not all of his advice is that bad. He does tell Mick that if you hated him like he thought, then you wouldn’t always be hanging around him or talking to him. And that he’s certainly not as unattractive as he says. That builds his confidence a little, but he’s still grumpy the entire time, slouching in his seat with his arms crossed as Scout explains what to do when your date is at 7pm.

Eventually, because Scout cannot keep a secret to save his life, word gets out that he’s been coaching Sniper on how to ask you out, and the other mercs decide to help. Some out of a genuine desire to help, others simply because the “Sniper has the biggest, sappiest crush on someone” schtick is hilarious and they want to tease him. Sniper is not appreciative all the time.

“You want to impress them? Is not necessary. They like Sniper very much. But my advice? Fight bear for them. Is very attractive trait to have.”

“You want my advice? Take a shower, bushman.”

“Laddie, yer plenty good enough for ‘em. They’re always hanging around ye anyways; what makes ye think they dinnae like ye?”

“Mph mmmhph!!”

“Now slim, you’re overthinkin’ this. I’m sure it’ll all go well. They’re always telling us guys how great a guy you are… if I was any less observant I’d say the feelin’s mutual.”

“The purest form of love is WAR! You must FIGHT to win the object of your affection’s heart! Now get your boney ass out there and show that son of a bitch the most ROMANTIC fist fight America has ever seen, private!!”

“Don’t worry yourself, Herr Sniper; if you fail to win over their figurative heart, you can always have their literal heart! I am not using it at the moment.”

Yeah not everyone’s advice was taken. But strangely, it did make him feel overall more willing to bite the bullet, especially hearing that the feeling’s not unrequited. But he still refuses to use the chicken trick or lovingly fist fight you. He figures he’ll just invite you to his camper for coffee and fess up there. And that he does.

Just know, the entire team will be proudly patting Sniper on the back for scoring a date with you. And Scout will take all the credit for setting up the lovely couple despite being of little help.

Hmmm, OH, how about heavy with an s/o who’s also Russian, and can’t speak English very well?

Source: Unknown. Could be Tf2gallery?

Heavy with a Russian S/O who is not fluent in English:

- Absolutely adorable together, while he doesn’t prefer his mother land of Russia, having his S/O be from there is incredibly comforting for him. It reminds him of his mother and sisters, and is like bringing a piece of home back with him.

- On the other hand. The language barrier can get a bit annoying at times with the other mercs, as his S/O is easily overwhelmed by their questions and comments, especially if they get frustrated when trying to respond, but not knowing the words to do so.

- They constantly fire off back and forth between each other when in private, though! If one stumbles across or into Heavy’s little “library” area, (a repurposed side room meant for housing tapes that have since been burned, the shelves are lined with books that he’s collected over the years), they’ll often find Heavy and his S/O deep in philosophical conversation with each other, far swifter in Russian than in English.

- Medic, Heavy, and Spy all do their best to help teach them English, to varying degrees of success. Spy is incredibly helpful, but isn’t around enough to make a huge difference. On the other hand, Medic isn’t quite as helpful, but is a better teacher and is more than enthusiastic to help where he can. He’s often too caught up in his experiments to be there as often as Heavy, though; although his S/O is perfectly fine with being in the med bay, so long as things don’t get too hectic.

- Heavy and his S/O are virtually inseparable, though. Heavy is either glued to their side, or they’re glued to his at all times. If they’re separated on their own terms, it’s for a very good reason. If not, and you’re the reason behind it, then you’d better run. They’ll find their way back to each other no matter what cost.

Hcs for the support classes with a s/o who loves plants and studies botany?

Support classes with a botanist S/O!

Medic:

Fascinated by their S/O’s green thumb and studies! He’s always looking to learn more for the sake of his own.

Absolutely asks to/works with his S/O to make freaky mutated plant creatures for use on the battlefield, or just to scare the other mercs on purpose.

Will absolutely quote Little Shop of Horrors at every chance he gets. They find it adorable and the rest of the team finds it a little too… Sappy. (Badum-tss!)

Sniper:

He finds the care and love they put into their plants so wonderful, and they make the perfect pair when it comes to interest. One loves plants, the other loves animals.

Of course, that doesn’t stop them from being their own slightly awkward selves, but there’s plenty of inside jokes and puns thrown around between the two involving their separate interests. Many of which the rest of the team wouldn’t get without a fair bit of research.

Overall, they’re wonderful for each other. The van is filled with the smell of fresh herbs and fun plants, they’ve made a little greenhouse outside of the base… Sniper and his S/O occasionally go bird watching, and they’ll sit quietly together until one spots an interesting bird or plant that they can share facts with each other on

Spy:

Spy is surprisingly good about messes and getting his hands dirty to do his job. That was why it came to him as a surprise that he disliked the idea of gardening and botany, unlike his S/O.

He learns to get better at taking care of things like plants on display as his S/O brings in roses and fresh herbs, plants, and interesting specimen that they love. Spy discovers better ways of keeping up with commitment, something he often struggles with.

He loves listening to his S/O ramble about plant topics, especially over dinner or while reading a good book. Eventually, Spy manages to keep a plant alive for a whole year, despite not having a green thumb in the slightest. The accomplishment becomes a landmark for the two, and is celebrated by an extra, enthusiastic kiss.

96!! whats edith's humour like???

( Sorry for the late reply, I was working on another one and accidentally closed the tab, not even heeding the warning that "unsaved changes might be lost..." 😔)

Edith's humor really depends on the day. Normally she'll find any sort of physical comedy or good word play hilarious-, but if she's having a bad day, pretty much any sort of irony will get her. Her humor gets much darker when she's tired/exhausted, but it's also a lot less coherent.

“Maybe…”

Personally, I think Demo would think it’s sweet, but also be a bit ticked off because he’s independent and doesn’t necessarily need someone else to see for him. Just because he’s blind in one eye doesn’t mean he’s completely deaf on that side either.

I think he does know that Sniper is there, or is at least aware of it. He just never mentions it and eventually forgets he’s there entirely since he’s so used to his presence being there. It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that Sniper is way too quiet and is there so often that he becomes adjusted to it.

He does try and make it clear to Sniper that despite enjoying his presence, he’d like to have a bit more trust that he knows how to operate without one eye. And, as much as he appreciates it, he needs Sniper to focus on doing his job and taking people out before they reach him instead.

Soon, it becomes a challenge to see how many people Sniper can headshot before they get to the rest of the team or even get close to getting a hit in, and the team is better off for it. Demo tallies it and congratulates Sniper every time he beats his own record, making him better in the long run and ensuring that the trust between them isn’t lost.

headcanon that Sniper always stands on Demoman’s blind side bc he considers himself the ‘eagle-eyes of the team’ or something & feels personally responsible for making sure Demo doesn’t get surprised by shit coming at him out of left field.

Could I please get some headcanons for Engie and maybe Spy with a smol, touch starved ball of anxiety S/O with abandonment issues? They always want to be holding the merc's hand, or hugging them, you get the idea. Whenever they have to be separated for long periods of time, there's a signing chance of the merc coming back to S/O wearing their clothes because "It smells like you."

Spy & Engineer with a touch starved, anxious S/O

Spy

At first, he’s fine with giving his S/O extra attention. Spy himself is used to being in close quarters with others when they ask, but doesn’t tend to prefer it.

That being said, having his S/O there all the time begins to get exhausting rather quickly, so Spy very likely tries different ideas to have some alone time every so often- be it a plushie, weighted blanket, assurances that he will be back-- seeing as he knows he’s an untrustworthy individual, it doesn’t hurt to reassure.

After realizing that it wouldn’t work all the time, he made the decision to either take his S/O with him, or stay with them.

Of course, it’d be a mixture of both, but while he was initially exhausted by all this, he learns to love it and does it because he feels better seeing his S/O smile.

His S/O is so nervous, he honestly wonders how they thought he was the right choice- but he doesn’t mind. Though, he does try and train their confidence- as well as training them in self defense in order to help alleviate anxiety from trying to look far into the future towards things they don’t know will happen or not.

Being a romantic though, he enjoys toying with his S/O’s touched starved nature. Seeing his light touches while training in a waltz-like fashion send shivers down their spine, or returning to the base invisible, the only knowledge of him having arrived coming from a kiss by a walking ghost.

Engineer

Absolutely bonkers over his S/O. His S/O means the world to him and he is going to show it no matter what. As shy as he is about romance, he’s very genuine and upfront when it comes to asking about their wants, needs, etc.

Crafts a lot of gifts for his S/O to keep them company while he’s gone. Machines or stuffed animals, whichever makes his S/O happier. Maybe even makes some cute devices to contact each other with even easier besides just by phone. 

While he’s a bit of a workaholic, he’s not opposed to having his S/O around him, be it sitting in his lap, standing behind him with their arms around his shoulders, etc. Though, if he’s doing something more dangerous like welding, he definitely tries to keep ‘em at a bit more of a distance. That, or he tries to bring his S/O into his activities to keep them engaged and by his side, but he’s very, very cautious about doing so. Can’t have them getting hurt, not on his watch!

Coming back from battle to see his S/O wearing one of his hoodies from his work with administrator, or a pair of his overalls that are, of course, way too big on them, he can’t help but melt right where he’s standing. He’s just thinking to himself over and over, “G-d, you’re adorable...”

Definitely makes sure to “accidentally” leave out his most comfortable clothing when he has to go somewhere after that. Usually things like his work hoodies, plaid shirts, stuff like that. He’s a blushing mess about it too, because he knows for a fact he’ll come back to his S/O wearing it.

Reasons to love Heavy TF2

(Hey if anyone has the source of whoever posted this particular gif of meet the heavy, let me know and I’ll update!)

I wasn’t kidding when I said I was overwhelmed with love for heavy for no particular reason. Heavy appreciation post with additions from suggests discord server members! :]

Makes very very good sandwiches and is able to share with others, very generous and kind

protects everyone at all costs

Russian

has a PhD in Russian literature

incredibly intelligent yet also muscle man

brawny and bear-like

could crush a man then hug you gently

very huggable, 100/10

cares a lot for his family

worries over his family a lot, but gives them the benefit of the doubt when they say they’re okay and can do things on their own

encourages his family members and teammates to practice self care, be strong, pursue their goals, etc.

reads a lot, would be nice to read together with him in a dimly lit room by a fire

could pick you up with one hand

you’d have to be picked up or be on a ladder to kiss him (very positive trait)

trains a lot and is serious about his job

team player, great at getting things done

reliable in anything, especially knowledgable in subjects and great at doing heavy lifting

allows birds to sit on his gun despite being very particular about its appearance and who is allowed to touch Sasha.

trusting of everyone, and also trustworthy because of it.

not afraid to try new things or put his trust in someone who others may not want to (Ex. Medic)

gentle giant in general, could pet doves without much trouble despite having such huge hands

large hands, probably calloused from how hard he works!

Also wears very cool gloves.

very muscular!!! Can carry around Sasha and his other miniguns despite them being incredibly heavy and expensive to fire

patient as well!!!

mother hen instinct, probably makes a mean soup for those who have colds

can probably also bake very well because of his culture and upbringing-

he is the heavy weapons guy what’s not to love!!!

Late night post but that’s okay. This is sort of a comfort(?) post based on a fic I read that made me think about this.

The night out in the desert can get chilly at times, and incredibly dark. Walking out there, shoes crunching against gravel as the crickets sing, the one place you’ll usually find light is Sniper’s van.

Usually he takes his time later into the evening and night to himself, away from the other mercs to sharpen his weapons, listen to the radio, engage in hobbies or just stare at the wall, relax.

If you were to knock and enter, friend or s/o- he’d allow you in seeing as you’re there rather late, perfectly fine with spending a quiet bit of time with you to just... be there with each other, maybe with you leaning on his shoulder or side for comfort.

That’s not what this headcanon is about though, it’s the fact that the light in his van is definitely incredibly yellow in contrast to the outside, not white but yellow. The orangey, warm tones that wrap around the inside of the van make for the ideal place to rest, think, sleep... not to mention compared to the outside chill, it’s slightly heated, not quite stuffy, but warm and nice to sit inside. Not toasty, but not normal room temperature either.

Being a camper van, there’s not loads of space inside, but it’s not quite cramped either. Storage is off to the sides, there’s a mini fridge, a small area to cook food... the bed is a nest of worn blankets, old pillows and maybe an item or two, such as the smaller kukri he has hidden between the mattress and the wall facing the front of the van.

Basically, it’s like a light at night during a camping trip, the blankets feel almost akin to a very well built sleeping bag (mega comfy ykno), everything there is distinctly his...

Wow ok am I touch starved or what?

i am

Not a request, but I just wanted to know: In your interpretation of the universe, is there an in-universe equivalent to the achievements we, as players, can get?

That’s a great question! I’ve been eager to write about this one, but I just wasn’t sure what to write,  especially since I feel like there’s a lot I can do with this idea.

For a lot of achievements, I assume that in universe, they’re something of a challenge to keep things fresh during battle. Like contracts, it keeps the Administrator entertained, and also gives the mercs something worth fighting for. 

I would imagine achievement items are sort of like “level up” items, a reward for doing well on the field to test out and use on your own instead of having to make your own hodge-podge weapons. Maybe they’re even designed by the class itself! 

Other achievements likely are just money rewards, little trophies, medals, and the like to encourage rivalry on the field. I mean, look! Red Heavy has a shiny badge on him! Why don’t you have it Blu Heavy? That’s right, fight for it!

I would think some of them are also newer based off of events that go on- like heavy medic achievements that weren’t there prior until medic invented the ubercharge or something. In fact, maybe it was Miss Pauling’s idea to do so, and the Administrator humored her. In reality, though, she just wanted to show support for the couple.

Anyways, I might come up with more to this idea later, there’s a lot more that you could delve into- like joke trophies, Halloween or event awards, etc. etc. 

Thanks for the ask!

IMPORTANT

Hey, so I’ll be updating my rules soon to clarify what I am and am not comfortable with writing. For most asks, it’s alright because I didn’t specify and therefore ya’ll had no way of knowing! Since I’m not obligated to respond to all of my asks, it just won’t be filled out.

However.

I’d like to be firm with boundaries.

Sending kink asks in my inbox, is under no circumstances allowed.

Thinly veiled, seeing-what-i-can-get-away-with, closeted, testing the waters, borderline, it does. not. matter.

Anon is on because I choose for it to be. I am writing for my own personal enjoyment, and the enjoyment of others in the fandom.

I do not enjoy it when people don't adhere to my boundaries and instead try and push them further.

To be clear, this was one anon, but I would like it to be zero from here on out. Thank you all for sending such amazing asks, and I do hope one person doesn't sour the experience for the rest of ya'll.

Anon will be left on, but should more people try and pull the same thing, it will be turned off, potentially permanently.

It's very late right now, so I can't update the rules yet, but I will be either reformatting or just specifying pieces to better fit what I have learned I would like to write, and what I would not.

Those who have sent asks before the rule change, it's not your fault! I didn't necessarily know what I was and wasn't comfortable with, but know that if you sent an ask that does not adhere to the new rules, it likely won't be finished.

On the bright side, there's a fair few asks I've yet to get to that I'm very eager to write!

(Follow up to the honey badger ask) How would Sniper, Spy (and maybe medic?) React to, after that battle, seeing the same new recruit making some chamomile tea with the honey badger tucked under their arm asleep, one or two of Soldier's raccoons following them, and Archimedes on their shoulder? All the animals are sorta just... chilling there, y'know?

Sniper:

 Is immediately enamored by it, definitely is tentative but eventually asks if he can be nearby, since he’s quite an animal lover himself.

 After the battle, seeing them all relaxing together gives him a bit more context into why the honey badger showed up in the first place- but he finds himself bewildered over the fact that any of this was happening.

 Likely asks for tips on befriending animals, asks questions on what she’s doing, why, how, etc. Seems more at ease knowing that she’s familiar with her animal buddies, though.

Spy:

 Walks into the room, then immediately cloaks and tries to leave upon seeing the honey badger and Archimedes. Both of which he would not like to interact with at this moment.

 If forced to stay, or if he has to get closer in order to retrieve something, he edges past whilst trying to act calm and collected, though his hand keeps roving to his watch, as if he could go invisible at any moment again.

 Very, very nervous, much as he tries to hide it. Spy has never had a good history with animals, seeing as they tend to see him before their owners do. While he enjoys being around them, ones he knows are dangerous are a whole other story, as taking the time to calm them down and distract them with a toy buys more time for his target to flee.

Medic:

“Archimedes, no!”

 Once he figures out Archimedes isn’t in fact trying to hurt her, he shrugs and smiles.

 Seeing as the other animals seem to trust the new merc, he sees no reason not to let Archimedes stay- he has a mind of his own sometimes.

 At the very least makes an excuse to pet the other animals, pick them up, get to know them better- “checkups!” he explains. He is, in fact, doing so, but only as a reason to hold the animals. 

 Though, whether or not he’s subtle about it, he’s also keeping an eye on his bird anyway. The new merc likely doesn’t know why, though.

How would Sniper react to seeing the new (female) who nobody really had any hope for surrounded by the enemy, crying her eyes out and begging for mercy, then suddenly this big-ass honey badger runs up, doing the chitter-scream, and starts kicking ass?

Sniper, if he were drinking coffee while watching through the scope, ready to kill whoever is terrorizing the new mercenary, would immediately spit it out and grab a camera.

If he doesn’t have either, he’ll be cheering from the sidelines and making sure the honey badger doesn’t get itself hurt. He knows how vicious honey badgers can be, so he’s not entirely worried since the rest of the mercs are already yelling and screaming in terror. 

How would Spy react to not being able to find his knife, only to see some little kid messing with it?

LET ME SEE WHAT YOU HAVE,

A KNIFE!

NO!

SMALL CHILD WIELDS SHARP OBJECT, LOCAL SPY CONFOUNDED!

His first feelings would likely be of confusion, anger, followed by seething rage when he noticed his knife was missing. After all, he was the Spy, no filthy pickpocket could simply take it. There was no way he had forgotten it either, as he triple checked his belongings and kept them on his person at all times. Being in public, there was no way for Spy to necessarily do much about it. He couldn’t just shout “WHERE IS MY KNIFE?!” To the world, and so he forces a deep breath and begins to search, splitting off from the team and looking about without garnering attention, as if he were merely a tourist.

At first, he had expected to be looking for any suspicious individuals, not anyone barely up to his middle in height. Yet, after a minute or two of scanning the room, there had been no other options, and right there. A lone child, holding a knife.

They were practically begging to be yelled at, dragged by the ear and taken to their guardians for such a bold defiance of all things he held dear, yet… It seemed the child had no parents in their midst. They were enthralled by the blade, flicking it between their fingers and trying to get the butterfly knife to do a trick or two, the light metal clattering far less satisfyingly in their smaller hands. Yet, while not masterful, the little kid treated the weapon with respectful caution, lacking precision but aware that their plaything was dangerous and sharp.

Spy found himself staring, rather than doing anything about it. Nothing about their appearance resembled his son, it wasn’t as if he had reason to not snatch it away and be done with it, yet here he was. Perhaps he saw a bit of his younger self in their eyes, or in the way they had healthy caution for the unknown, yet played with it anyway. 

Eventually, he exhaled and wandered over to the child, unsure what angle with which to approach the situation. Putting out his cigarette and kneeling down to get to eye level, he left a hand outstretched for them to return the knife, frowning.

“This is mine, mon petit, may I have it back…?

The child seems afraid, immediately shocked that they were caught. They shake their head, mumbling a “noo…”

“And why is that?” He has to force himself to be patient. Interacting with children is not his forte, but perhaps it feels like a second chance.

 Reminding himself this is a stranger, but unwilling to walk away without at least getting his knife back, and giving the child reason not to do such a thing again.

They blink, looking down at the butterfly knife. “Cause it’s pretty and feels good to use… Whus your accent from? S’all sounds pretty...”

Spy, shocked by the answer, goes silent, before sighing.

“Well, it is unwise to play with dangerous objects, mon ami. And… It is French. Do you know French?”

“My momma was from France! I knew I recognized th’ talking…”

“And where is she now..?”

The child’s expression immediately falls, and Spy needs no verbal answer to know what may have happened.

“Have you any other guardians?”

They shake their head, pointing down the road towards the old orphanage, shrugging sadly.

“Don’ matter, s'alright…”

There was the anger again, but now tenfold. Not at this child, but at himself. Of course he had to converse with the child, feel protective, now look at him. He had a job to do, he should have just grabbed the knife and went on with his day. 

When they finished talking, and Spy had left, there was a hollow feeling in his chest. Guilt, was it? Insecurity? Knowing the effect of not being present, it felt as if perhaps he was being given a second chance, yet he wasn’t sure how willing he was to throw it away.

Returning to the base, there were quite a few phone calls made to Miss Pauling, then the Administrator herself. Paperwork, negotiations, how in gods name would he work this out- Convincing Miss Pauling to allow a child into the base-- so long as battles were separate and hidden from their view, had been a breeze, but it was the Administrator, a cold, cruel hag of a woman whom he knew would take issue with the idea. It was to the point that he had been conversing through the night, even just in his white button up and suit pants, but he continued to talk.

What would his teammates think? He dreaded to find out, he merely hoped none of them would question it or tease him, but he knew he would come under fire, if only because he was the Spy, an uncaring, cold, emotionless figure.

At the very least, he knew he had time to pass, since the time in which it would take to get the paperwork in order, a new room built, etcetera, would give him ample time to learn more about who it is he was about to bring to the base.

That next day, a child wakes up to a gift by an unknown donator, all they know is it was a man with a vest and tie, with salt and pepper hair, inside of which is the materials to make the popsicle stick butterfly knife, a soft rabbit plushie, and a note written in a very simple cipher for them to solve.

“Pack your things in two weeks, If you see a woman in purple, she is your friend.”

support class with a clingy and needy s/o? like always wants to be with them, sitting on their lap, holding hands, etc but also is careful not to annoy them too much

Support Classes with a Clingy S/O?

I hope I got the gist of this ask, I think I might have derailed just a bit but hopefully this is what you were looking for! 

Image is from tf2gallery!

Medic:

Honestly, his experiments can certainly get loud at times, and the infirmary having as many doves in it as it does, having his future S/O there wasn’t quite an issue.

It was their constant need to be next to him that he was baffled by. Wielding sharp tools for surgery, he now had to be mindful that there was somebody directly beside him as they watched intently. Eventually, he tried finding ways to make them comfortable, seeing as they seemed to enjoy his enthusiasm-- (And having someone who was less terrified of him was a welcome change, if not a bit worrying for other reasons), it always seemed to bring his future S/O back beside him.

He’s learned that the doves can do most of the work for him, serving as feathery distractions for them to interact with, but he eventually learns that just being there and around for this person seems to keep them at ease. Why he seems to seek them out too when stressed he can’t quite understand…

Well, no matter! That wasn’t all there was to talk about.

Outside of the infirmary, he found that his S/O tended to stick behind him or close to his side, straying away from the others as if afraid. Surely they had their priorities backwards, but who is he to complain? Being the team Medic, he’s often blamed for the decisions and mistakes others have made, not being able to be everywhere at once. The trust his S/O put into him was a welcome change.

Having them in his lap and sort of keeping him away from his office to de-stress had to have been the biggest change to get used to. Despite this, he feels as if he gets more work done, as it gives him the chance to recharge and think of- then look forwards to all of the experiments he could perform and the wild changes he could make to his teammates. At first, he hadn’t been willing to, but now it seemed to be just another part of life.

Hey, while you’re with him, could you remind him to wash his gloves, though? He keeps staining your shirt with blood.

Sniper:

Sniper, being somebody who’s always worked alone, even whilst in a team environment, was baffled by his S/O at first. 

Why wouldn’t he be? He’s been isolated all these years as he silently took headshots from across the map, and now you’ve waltzed up and into his life without warning.

He certainly doesn’t mind it after a week or two, but at first he’s a bit put off by it. He’s not used to the constant need for contact, social interaction, but the sweet conversations you two have are more than enough to convince him to stay. Eventually getting to know each other better, he learns to love the attention.

Sometimes he’ll snipe with you in his lap, though it has to be if he knows he won’t be approached much that game, or if he’s not trying out a new position to snipe from.

Funnily enough, with you approaching him as much as you do, it becomes more difficult for Spy to creep up behind him with a second pair of eyes sweeping the room and shifting a man with tunnel vision into a much more active, aware man.

When he can’t be there, he’ll always spend extra time after battle with his S/O, sitting in silence while doing something like sharpening his kukri, drinking homemade tea or cider, polishing his boots, or just being wrapped up under a blanket in the van.

Spy:

Spy, at first, was very much driven away by the forwardness of their S/O. But as time went on, and they continued to stay close to him, he began to wonder why it was that his S/O trusted him so much.

So, giving it a shot, he, in private mind you, allows his S/O to sit beside him? Yes, that would do. Perhaps it would satiate their constant nagging for attention. Yet oddly enough, whenever he seemed to show frustration over it- a break in his character, they’d quiet down and frown, immediately backing off.

This respect of space strengthened his trust in you. After all, one must always exercise extreme caution around Spy, and the lack of it had begun to wear him down. But when it became clear you had no intention of annoying him, respecting his boundaries and stepping away when need be, it allowed him to think more of what you meant to him.

He still freezes up in public at times when his S/O decides to hold his hand. Walking closely beside him was one thing, but hand holding seemed so… Unnatural, to him. 

Yet, he holds onto their hand anyway! No matter what looks it may garner him, a steely glare is usually enough to push back bystanders. He will protect you, knowing that while you may be misguided in who you choose to trust, that he’ll pay back simple kindness with fierce loyalty.

The longer the two of you spend together, the less space tends to matter. He’ll allow his S/O to sit in his lap so long as they don’t ruin his suit, normally he tends to wear the button up with the sleeves rolled up beneath it instead whilst on his own anyway. Still, it amuses him seeing his S/O resting against his chest, almost catlike in their contentment to stay there. Why they chose a Spy of all people, he’s yet to wrap his head around that one.

Mercs reaction to S/O cuddled up against them and waking them with a kiss, saying, "Good morning, handsome..." Pretty please with gummy bears and whipped cream on top!

Sorry for the wait on this one, I tried to put depth into everyone! 

Image is from tf2-pngs! 

Demoman: 

As somebody who frequently wakes up with some form of a hangover, having their s/o there is a godsend. Though, with you there for emotional support also means he’s been cutting back a bit on drinking.

He’s immediately in a much better mood throughout the day! Just being there for him when he wakes up allows him to be much more sociable, it gives him a reason to be out and about just to make it up to you.

Waking up to “Good morning handsome…”, He’s immediately smitten. The love of his life is right there in front of him, and he feels like he doesn’t deserve this, he doesn’t deserve to have somebody like his s/o, but the expression on their face eases that thought. They look so content and happy just being there, and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy to the point he feels he might cry.

Engineer:

“G’mornin, sweet pea…”

Engineer is awestruck, and doesn’t want to move for fear of disturbing his S/O’s comfortable position. His face is redder than a tomato, but the adoring smile plastered across his face is more than enough to show his feelings about it all.

Eventually, the two of you laugh at how flustered Engie became, and shift a bit closer. They’ll have to get up for work eventually, but the two together are too comfortable to give up another fifteen minutes of sleep.

Heavy:

The feeling of wanting to protect somebody is strong for this man, so when he wakes up to a kiss and to see his S/O there, looking so comfortable and happy, he feels a swell of pride and joy.

When he sits up, the first thing he does is pick up his S/O and kiss them back, holding them bridal style and complimenting them in Russian. 

“[Name] is handsome like Heavy. Is good. Heavy likes this about [Name].”

Heavy takes the time to brush out his S/O’s hair and grab whatever they may need for the day (glasses, watch, a mask, their earpiece, etc.)

The comfy atmosphere never once breaks.

Medic:

“Oh stop it meine Liebe, you flatter me-”

The two of you share a laugh as he begins to wake up. He’s rather quick to do so, being a night owl and an early bird simultaneously means that Medic has a mental alarm clock.

Seeing his S/O laying there, willing to be vulnerable around one of the more dangerous mercenaries is something he’s yet to work out the reason for. 

He’s reminded of the fire of spunk that they have though when he’s attacked with a kiss and the ruffling of his hair. In reality, he really is flattered, but he’d never tell his S/O to the extent of such. No time, he has experiments to do!

He returns the kiss, but doesn’t allow for his S/O to stay where they are, since the early bird gets the worm- or rather, the fresh coffee. Not that the two mind, whether his S/O is a morning person or not, sleep is a necessary sacrifice for being with him. 

The doves also get very, very angry when not fed on time, so...

Pyro:

Pyro immediately returns the gesture, filled with energy for the day thanks to their S/O’s compliment. Even without pyrovision, being with you is like being in a dream world of it’s own. 

They let out a muffled laugh at the compliment, and beneath the mask, are honored to have you there with them. The fact their S/O has accepted them for who they are and is so relaxed around them-- even when the other mercs aren’t, is something of a wish come true.

The other mercs have to come get you, since Pyro and their S/O both started a pillow fight upon finishing saying good morning to each other. 

Scout:

Immediate ego boost. If you thought Scout could ever feel any better about himself than he did already, then you’re wrong and he will fight you on this.

In reality, Scout is flustered to no end, but tries not to show it outside of the beet red blush that creeps up his face when woken up in this way. Part of him has his doubts that he was ever meant to be with you. After all, who could ever deserve anyone this sweet?

But with your reassurance, he feels so, so much better about receiving compliments and does his best to return the favor, even while he’s still half asleep.

“Hheeey babe, mmorning, ever… uh… tell you how… preeetty you looked? … Yeah, ‘cause you’re… Freakin’, unbelievable, you’re like-- a ghost or somethin’, ‘cause you’re too good t’ be real… Yeah… G’morning…”

Sniper:

Like Scout, Sniper is rather unsure about what he’s ever done to deserve somebody like his S/O. Being awoken to compliments only reassures him that you’re his, and his alone.

That being said, he’ll have his S/O in his arms for the rest of the morning, head resting atop yours as you both get ready. He’ll do his best to return the compliments, but through actions rather than words.

He’ll have a bright grin for the remainder of the morning, too. When the other mercs ask him what’s got him so cheerful so early, he’ll blush and look away, tilting his hat over his face. Moreover, the jitters he gets when you take a moment to rest your head on his shoulder, arms wrapped around his own in front of the others to show why he wore a genuine smile. Giddy as a word under-describes how he feels around his S/O.

Soldier:

“GREAT MORNING, WITH YOU HERE!”

Blunt, to the point, and loyal as a dog, Soldier will be up on his feet the second he hears his S/O talking. He’ll shower them in compliments while carrying them bridal style to make breakfast.

The pride he feels for America still burns bright, but the pride of being able to hold his S/O in his arms outshines it by the magnitude of a sun. He shares your smile.

Spy:

“Good morning, mon amour…”

Having been well versed in the world of romance, Spy is pleasantly surprised that his S/O was the first to initiate a compliment for the morning. Seeing them in his arms, waking up to a kiss, he finds it telling that his S/O truly does care.

In fact, he holds them tighter. Knowing he’ll have to get up for work eventually-- Or perhaps it is a ceasefire, he finds that he cares less with them around. Years and years of putting on a snide, arrogant personality to ward others away has taken its toll, and he wonders how somebody like his S/O had seen so clearly through it and into his very core.

He returns the gesture as well as he can, having difficulty showing his emotions clearly and especially around the mercenaries, whom he must keep his persona around. With every kiss, he almost feels like his S/O is slowly but surely helping him become better, piece by piece.

How the mercs would cuddle

Really want some soft stuff rn figured I’d share

Not really in any particular order? I just picked some mercs from the pile and put em in there.

Image from tf2gallery

Scout

Touch starved, Scout will melt into any move regarding affection possible!

He’s adamant that he thinks cuddling is gross, but you know he’s a cuddlebug when the two of you are alone.

Prefers to hug facing you while sitting in your lap, maybe leaning against something so you’re more comfortable.

If you’re taller, he’ll probably be attached to your side, arms around your torso.

If you’re shorter, his arms are around your shoulders, head leaning next to yours.

Heavy

Doesn’t mind public displays of affection, though he seems surprised at how confidently you show that he’s your s/o or platonic friend-

Normally when the two of you are together, he has you wrapped up in a bear hug with you resting on his chest.

Other times, if you’re somewhere like a couch, you’ll sandwich yourself between him and the back as if he’s a wall of safety.

But most of all, Heavy prefers to be held. Even if he’s the bigger guy, he’s the little spoon and it shows. He’s always afraid of crushing you in his grip, and he’s always been the mother hen type. Having you there to be his emotional support means the world to him.

Demoman

Being so broad shouldered means hugging can be an issue at times. When cuddling, the two of you tend to be in a sort of sideways position around each other, curled up like cats. The other mercenaries find it hilarious, especially when Demo is drunk and unable to realize he’s even with somebody, holding you to his chest while you just lay there smiling, content.

He is. A sweetheart when it comes to that kind of thing. When he’s more sober, which isn’t very often, he’s much closer and tries to make the best of remembering the moment.

Spy

Being the most well versed in the world of romance, one would think that Spy would be a cuddler. He’s not.

He’s great with giving out compliments, whispering them in your ear as he brings you closer into his arms, but the second you approach him and he isn’t expecting it, he freezes up quicker than lightning.

“Mon cher, what is it you are doing?”

He’s completely flabbergasted by the idea of just. Sitting, and relaxing next to another person? He much prefers to be alone, but you manage to convince him to try after an unbelievable amount of effort.

At first, it started with him sitting, unsure next to you with you leaning into his side, or maybe with your arm wrapped around his shoulder and your head nestled into the crook of his neck.

Eventually he warms up to it, returning the gesture of having one arm around your shoulders and ith the other hand preoccupied with a book, a cigarette or a glass of wine.

After a particularly long battle, disheveled and ready to throw something, he realized just how helpful having somebody there with him turned out to be. No need for any fancy rituals, just being in each other’s company. He’s drooped over in your arms, hung over your shoulder sideways and exhaustedly bringing you both into a laying position, just so you can both talk without the effort of sitting up.

Medic

Medic is a busy man, constantly moving about in the infirmary attending to his latest inventions or tending to his beloved doves.

He hates when he has no say in something, which is why you have to convince him to step away from his projects after two days without sleep by being there with him for practically every second.

He’s the big spoon, no questions asked. It gives him the feeling of having control over a situation, having you in his arms and close to his chest.

Around the base, particularly if waiting for an early morning mission to begin, he loves it when he can use somebody’s lap as a pillow, meaning yours are the first choice.

When he truly cannot step away from his work, you can probably try sitting in his lap. He likely finds it cute, but he’s very absorbed in his experiments. This means he’s on autopilot and might slice you a few times when reaching over to make an incision, so it’s a risky move for both parties.

Sometimes in the evenings while doing paperwork, when warm orange sunlight filters through the window and onto the desk, he can be found conked out in his office chair, with you in his arms, facing against his chest. When this happens, the doves join in, tucked beneath your neck, on his shoulders, on the seat by your legs, some are even brave enough to quietly nest in your hair. You both deny it happened when scout walked in on the sight while looking for a bandaid.

Sniper

Much like Scout, Sniper is hopelessly touch starved and any affection sends him into overdrive.

Prefers to sit straddling your hips, he’s got long, long legs and is NOT afraid to use them.

Speaking of legs, your cuddling positions can get a bit crazy at times. Considering the fact they can fold entirely across your back, his hugs are more like a trap than an actual method of snuggling up to each other.

When lying down, it’s easier for you to lie on his chest than anywhere beside him thanks to how long his limbs are, but you both don’t mind.

Even just sitting beside each other, Sniper practically melts. Hug? He’s jello. Pet his hair? Cries.

The way he holds you isn’t just for his own comfort though. He’d sacrifice it to see you happy in his arms. No, it’s because in the end, he always has to have one eye open and is therefore rather protective of you.

It’s a sort of defense mechanism, really. If you can’t move away, nobody can try and take you or steal you either. He’s too embarrassed to admit it though, or maybe he just doesn’t know how.

Either way, seeing you safe and sound in his arms is enough.

Not doing all the mercs, but if you want to see the others let me know! It’s just getting late and I need to sleep, also don’t really have many ideas for the other mercs hhh-

Another Medic headcanon

Medic is a surprisingly good singer! He whistles and murmurs lyrics to himself a lot, so it’s no surprise he’s a fan of tunes, not just those of his birds.

When you’re someone who has to go to drastic measures to get the organs, bodies, and medical equipment you need, (including grave robbing, mind you), coming up with ways of convincing your peers becomes essential to the job.

Spy may be a master of disguise, but Medic is more of a deception and manipulation kind of guy. Of course, normally he would never be careful, caring little for the well-being of others, but at times he has to sacrifice that to act more like a ‘professional’ and a ‘doctor’, not to mention ‘not a hired killer’.

So he used his vocal range to his advantage! Medic can easily switch from a smooth baritone to pipsqueak within seconds— from softer than feathers to a harsh yell. He uses it to sell a character that isn’t his own.

Speaking of yelling, Medic is DEFINITELY into releasing his stress by screaming death metal. Without a guitar, he learned how to shred. With a bonesaw. With the amount he has to deal with on a daily basis, can you really blame him? Besides, he enjoys it.

But away from that, what about his voice is really so special? Surely being so distinct in appearance would detract from the show he puts on and the shock factor of switching to a much more agreeable and polite character.

Well, that’s when confidence comes in. As somebody who outplayed the devil himself, it’s safe to say Medic knows how to get what he wants. Outsmarting is one thing, but that requires planning that truly isn’t possible all of the time. So he improvises. That’s how he keeps the mercs alive away from respawn and brings people back from the dead.

Naturally, this gives him an air of authority. He learned exactly how to demand what he wants, be it exotic animal organs, tools, or anesthetic, he knows it all. Sometimes all it requires is the threat of being on the receiving end of the vitasaw, others it requires charm and beguiling charisma to have his way.

Well, either way. Not even spy can figure out exactly how he does it.

Maybe you should ask the birds. They’re always watching.

Medic coming to terms with feelings like butterflies and bursts of excitement when fem reader is around? He doesn't really know what love is or if he does hes stubborn and dismissive of it as a concept.

(Hope this sort of ask is okay, also started reading your fic recently and I love it)

Thank you very much, your compliment means a ton! I’m really glad people are liking the fic so far! B,)

And heck yeah these sorts of asks are okay! I’m pumped to do this one!

MEDIC & FEM READER

Oh, Medic was aware of the concept of “love” alright. Not once had he ever thought it more than a series of chemical reactions, that only brought trouble along with them. (Edgelord)

Technically, he briefly had a license. Having gone through training and watching beside “real” doctors, the number of times he had seen the wrong side of relationships was astounding. Partners abused, unfairly treated, spiteful, arguing, more venomous than snakes. Truly, it gave him the idea that love was merely a reason to stick with somebody for far longer than one should, and to give up on your work.

It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in love as a concept, no, but the amount of fantasy brought into such a cut and dry idea left him impassive to it at best.

So when he and you first met, Ludwig found himself baffled at your lack of fear for the doctor, and the confidence you put into your stride, invading his life and the other’s without a care in the world.

He found himself urging you to stay away. After all, these men were dangerous- yet it puzzled him. Why would he? You were a free source of experiment material, not to mention he cared little for others wellbeing, why yours?

It only dawned upon him that he… Rather enjoyed your presence when Archimedes made a display of landing on your wrist, and instead of freaking out or attempting to crush the bird, you merely… Pet it. Stroked it’s feathers with care and… love, that it hit him like a truck.

This man was furious. How dare you come into his life, interfere with his experiments, and drag him into this, this pitfall-

But when he gripped the ubersaw, the look of genuine, pure curiosity and unfiltered exuberance upon seeing it, going so far as to approach the weapon and try and take it in your own hands, that he realized he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He supposed it was because this woman had never been like one he had ever met prior. Miss Pauling understood his excitement but it was unlikely she shared it, and undoubtedly all the other civilians he had met had been put off by his stories…

Passing in the hallways, he recalled the moments in which it felt like a fluttering dove in his chest, he almost checked if Archimedes had somehow gotten in there- But das war nicht der Fall, no. Had it truly been the affection he had ignored out of spite for god this entire time?

Or instances in which the room went electric with thrilled elation at the discovery that a recent experiment was a success, to have somebody who shared their maniacal laughter or smiled despite their clear discomfort, only served to amplify the charge of exhilaration he felt, to share it.

That you were there when he dropped his guard, showed affection towards his doves, or was vulnerable and weak, sickly even, you had stood by his side like a doctor’s assistant. How had he been so blind?

When he discovered you with his coat draped over your shoulders, far too long with the swath of white fabric touching the floor, he had been stunned. You donned it despite it being spattered with red blood as if it were your own, he could only chuckle and gently pry it away when he saw your look of shock at being found out.

When he found you had taken care of the other mercenaries after watching his methods and practicing it on your own so they would not disturb Medic’s intense focus, had the feeling been pride?

The mad doctor decides to allow you to stay, arranging with Miss Pauling for you to be an assistant so that you would not be gunned down upon leaving with company secrets. As much as he loathed the idea of company of the other mercenaries outside of his experiments on heavy and the others, he can’t help but allow the cheerful bounce in his step when you sign your name on the paperwork, and are accepted into your new home at RED.

For that merc roadtrip post, I see Scoatcand Demo as the ones asking to stop every 20 min. Granted Demo almost has an excuse

Hah, certainly agree with that headcanon! Engineer ends up screaming out of frustration half way through because multiple times they both stopped them just to say they were kidding. 

I was reading through your work and its great!!! I can't wait to read more! Also while i was reading it i had a thought. Please imagine: spy trying to be a good teammate and carry one of his teammates to bed but he has the muscles of a stickbug and he's struggling so hard

Thank you so much!! That means the world to me haha.

ALSO YES I AGREE. Y’know how Engineer calls Scout “Stringbean”? Spy is a walking beanpole, its genetic.

Despite this, I’d say he’s perfectly capable of hauling around the unconscious or dead. After all, he’s a silent killer and a master of espionage. He uses his appearance to his advantage if he is found out since they’ll underestimate just how dangerous the Spy can be. 

HOWEVER!

Just because Spy can haul things around doesn’t mean he can do it in a manner that is comfortable to the person he’s holding. He just need to be quick to get away. So uh, sleepy merc on the couch, someone like Engie?

Spy is gonna need some help, but from who? Maybe Demo, but he called the lad a drunken wretch earlier that day during battle, so that was a no go. Soldier? Too loud. Scout? Absolutely not. Heavy? No, no. Heavy might wake them up. Certainly not Pyro, and Sniper is out in his van.

Through process of elimination, he begrudgingly has to ask Medic for assistance. Safe to say he’s not happy to have been brought out of an important experiment for something of such unimportance, but he certainly finds it amusing. He agrees to move the sleeping mercenary and in return Spy finally agrees to an annual “checkup” (aka having all of your organs rifled through).

He can be charitable.

Sometimes.

Someone give this man a hug (you’ll get backstabbed, make sure you’re hooked up to respawn first)

Edit: I SWEAR IT BEING ENGIE WAS NOT ON PURPOSE DIRECTLY BEING POSTED RIGHT AFTER YOU AND @pocketsniper IM SORRY

The mercs going on a road trip? 👀

Arguing over who gets the front seat: Heavy and scout. Heavy needs his space, Scout is childish and wants to be in the front, and Sniper is just standing there like “I’d also like the front seat please my legs dont fit” but nobody listens because he’s Sniper. Eventually the two compromise and Scout ends up in Heavy’s lap. 

Keep Scout occupied, otherwise he’ll start screaming wheels on the bus to annoy the others for the entire. ride. (Or at least until someone tapes his mouth shut, a common occurrence.)

Alternates include: Beer on the wall, tongue twisters, what’s new pussycat...

Crammed into the middle: Demoman, Pyro, Soldier. Pyro is in the very middle and is restless, eventually they fill up the other’s laps with toys and crayon drawings. Soldier is just happy his hand isn’t being cut off at the moment, and Demoman doesn’t mind as long as he has a bottle of scrumpy for the long ride ahead. 

Designated driver: Also Sniper, or Engineer (and on rare occasions miss Pauling herself). Engie can stand being in the back seat for long enough to brave the ride, but he’s still backseat driving from there, calling out directions and making sure nobody does anything dumb to get them pulled over.

Crammed into the back: Medic and Spy. Spy would rather not disclose what he saw during the road trip, but it’s safe to say there was a lot of suspicious, muffled yelling from the body bags he just had to bring along.

Quick Medic HCS

Inspired by a string of doveposts from medicsmenageries;

Ludwig names all of his doves.

The mercs have tried, and failed, to count how many he owns. 

Not even Heavy knows, and he’s the only one allowed to pet the birds.

As mentioned in a previous post, this man can disney-princess style call his babies to his very whim, it’s not unusual to think they bring him his coat in the mornings while he makes coffee.

He just really loves his doves okay?