Demo, Medic, And Spy When Jealous:

To whom it may concern,

It has come to our attention that you have been tampering with our audio and publishing your findings to the public - or at least making it available to them. This is an official cease and desist from Mann Co. Though @talk-to-the-mercs is a public ask blog, their lives are not. There are some things that should remain private. We understand that you may have done this on accident, or that you are working for someone who, through either intimidation or financial promises, is forcing you to go through with this act. However, if this is intentional, remember, we have other ways of convincing you.

With all due respect,

Miss Pauling

R.E.D Corporation

𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗅.

𝗂 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖺𝖽𝗆𝗂𝗍, 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝖼𝗄 𝗍𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝖼𝖾𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺 dignified 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺, 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗌𝗁𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗂 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌- 𝖼𝗅𝗎𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗌𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝖻𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 '𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗉𝖺𝗇𝗒'.

𝗂𝗇 𝖽𝗂𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗅𝗒 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗆𝗉𝗍 𝖺𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖾𝗆𝗉𝗅𝗈𝗒𝖾𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗍 𝖽𝗂𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗍 𝗈𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗂 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖼𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗒 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝗇 𝗆𝗎𝗅𝗍𝗂𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗈𝖼𝖼𝖺𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗍 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝗎𝗀𝗌, 𝗂 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖿𝖺𝗑 𝖺 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝗂𝖽𝖽𝗅𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝖼𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗋𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗍.

𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗇𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝗒𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖽𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝗆 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗏𝖾𝗂𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝖿 𝖼𝗋𝗂𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗌, 𝗂 𝖽𝗈 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗅𝖾𝗀𝖺𝗅 𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖻𝗎𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇?

𝗈𝗁, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝖻𝗈𝖽𝗒 𝗍𝗈 𝗄𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝖻𝗈𝖽𝗒 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇 𝖤𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗇𝗈𝗑 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗌, 𝗐𝖾 𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝗏𝖾𝗂𝗅𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖺 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇, 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖯𝖺𝗎𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀.

𝗁𝗈𝗐𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋, 𝖺𝗌 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗌 𝗂 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖽𝗂𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖺 𝗉𝖺𝗐𝗇 𝗍𝗈, 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗏𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗀𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗋𝖼𝖾. 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗌𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾𝖽, 𝗇𝗈 𝗂𝗇𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗌𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖾𝖽, 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝖺𝗒 𝖼𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗂𝖾𝗏𝖾.

𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗋𝗌, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒, 𝖬.

I’ve shipped little otter to you for Heavy… He’s little lion’s colleague, and is here to help! Whenever Heavy is frustrated, little otter is very holdable and will want to help calm him down.

Perhaps I should sew up plushies for everyone… I think they all deserve a loving companion. :]

Heavy holds the little otter in his hands, and he smiles, pleased. “Oh, he is good friend...thank you, I will keep him next to Sasha!” He greatly appreciates the gift and the craftsmanship.

Could I please get some headcanons for Engie and maybe Spy with a smol, touch starved ball of anxiety S/O with abandonment issues? They always want to be holding the merc's hand, or hugging them, you get the idea. Whenever they have to be separated for long periods of time, there's a signing chance of the merc coming back to S/O wearing their clothes because "It smells like you."

Spy & Engineer with a touch starved, anxious S/O

Spy

At first, he’s fine with giving his S/O extra attention. Spy himself is used to being in close quarters with others when they ask, but doesn’t tend to prefer it.

That being said, having his S/O there all the time begins to get exhausting rather quickly, so Spy very likely tries different ideas to have some alone time every so often- be it a plushie, weighted blanket, assurances that he will be back-- seeing as he knows he’s an untrustworthy individual, it doesn’t hurt to reassure.

After realizing that it wouldn’t work all the time, he made the decision to either take his S/O with him, or stay with them.

Of course, it’d be a mixture of both, but while he was initially exhausted by all this, he learns to love it and does it because he feels better seeing his S/O smile.

His S/O is so nervous, he honestly wonders how they thought he was the right choice- but he doesn’t mind. Though, he does try and train their confidence- as well as training them in self defense in order to help alleviate anxiety from trying to look far into the future towards things they don’t know will happen or not.

Being a romantic though, he enjoys toying with his S/O’s touched starved nature. Seeing his light touches while training in a waltz-like fashion send shivers down their spine, or returning to the base invisible, the only knowledge of him having arrived coming from a kiss by a walking ghost.

Engineer

Absolutely bonkers over his S/O. His S/O means the world to him and he is going to show it no matter what. As shy as he is about romance, he’s very genuine and upfront when it comes to asking about their wants, needs, etc.

Crafts a lot of gifts for his S/O to keep them company while he’s gone. Machines or stuffed animals, whichever makes his S/O happier. Maybe even makes some cute devices to contact each other with even easier besides just by phone. 

While he’s a bit of a workaholic, he’s not opposed to having his S/O around him, be it sitting in his lap, standing behind him with their arms around his shoulders, etc. Though, if he’s doing something more dangerous like welding, he definitely tries to keep ‘em at a bit more of a distance. That, or he tries to bring his S/O into his activities to keep them engaged and by his side, but he’s very, very cautious about doing so. Can’t have them getting hurt, not on his watch!

Coming back from battle to see his S/O wearing one of his hoodies from his work with administrator, or a pair of his overalls that are, of course, way too big on them, he can’t help but melt right where he’s standing. He’s just thinking to himself over and over, “G-d, you’re adorable...”

Definitely makes sure to “accidentally” leave out his most comfortable clothing when he has to go somewhere after that. Usually things like his work hoodies, plaid shirts, stuff like that. He’s a blushing mess about it too, because he knows for a fact he’ll come back to his S/O wearing it.

the soy

the soy...

@pocketsniper​ you already saw it earlier but I’m posting on here because I’m rather proud of how this image came out- it was initially supposed to be less meme-y but sonic green hill theme played and you know what it fits beta spy’s aesthetic and I hate that so here you go ilysm <3

The mercs going on a road trip? 👀

Arguing over who gets the front seat: Heavy and scout. Heavy needs his space, Scout is childish and wants to be in the front, and Sniper is just standing there like “I’d also like the front seat please my legs dont fit” but nobody listens because he’s Sniper. Eventually the two compromise and Scout ends up in Heavy’s lap. 

Keep Scout occupied, otherwise he’ll start screaming wheels on the bus to annoy the others for the entire. ride. (Or at least until someone tapes his mouth shut, a common occurrence.)

Alternates include: Beer on the wall, tongue twisters, what’s new pussycat...

Crammed into the middle: Demoman, Pyro, Soldier. Pyro is in the very middle and is restless, eventually they fill up the other’s laps with toys and crayon drawings. Soldier is just happy his hand isn’t being cut off at the moment, and Demoman doesn’t mind as long as he has a bottle of scrumpy for the long ride ahead. 

Designated driver: Also Sniper, or Engineer (and on rare occasions miss Pauling herself). Engie can stand being in the back seat for long enough to brave the ride, but he’s still backseat driving from there, calling out directions and making sure nobody does anything dumb to get them pulled over.

Crammed into the back: Medic and Spy. Spy would rather not disclose what he saw during the road trip, but it’s safe to say there was a lot of suspicious, muffled yelling from the body bags he just had to bring along.

Lol I was unable to post this last night but have the last coherent sketch I made as a request!!!

Might do more headcanons today but probably not, I dunno how I’m going to be feeling nor what motivation I might have. I just woke up, lol.

Also I drew this Demo from memory which is why some stuff might be missing…

!!!!!

Good post op

(Also I can doodle him perhaps maybe tomorrow?)

(I need to finish something for a collab first oh shoot I forgot)

(But still... Merasmus...)

(Might do some general headcanons in the meantime or finish one of the Merasmus requests from earlier..!)

Thank you for the Merasmus posts, he needs more love! :]

Heheh thank you! I'd love to do actual art of him one day instead of just rebloggin him, but I'm not very good at drawing (especially old dudes like merasmurray) so. Maybe some day.

Though I can share some headcanons! This is a bit of a common one but I do like to think of him as transmasc

Also, Merasmus sometimes will play DnD with the more willing mercs (after much pushing from Soldier)! He uses his magic to make fun effects and stuff. He isn't happy about it, but he secretly thinks its fun

Hcs for the support classes with a s/o who loves plants and studies botany?

Support classes with a botanist S/O!

Medic:

Fascinated by their S/O’s green thumb and studies! He’s always looking to learn more for the sake of his own.

Absolutely asks to/works with his S/O to make freaky mutated plant creatures for use on the battlefield, or just to scare the other mercs on purpose.

Will absolutely quote Little Shop of Horrors at every chance he gets. They find it adorable and the rest of the team finds it a little too… Sappy. (Badum-tss!)

Sniper:

He finds the care and love they put into their plants so wonderful, and they make the perfect pair when it comes to interest. One loves plants, the other loves animals.

Of course, that doesn’t stop them from being their own slightly awkward selves, but there’s plenty of inside jokes and puns thrown around between the two involving their separate interests. Many of which the rest of the team wouldn’t get without a fair bit of research.

Overall, they’re wonderful for each other. The van is filled with the smell of fresh herbs and fun plants, they’ve made a little greenhouse outside of the base… Sniper and his S/O occasionally go bird watching, and they’ll sit quietly together until one spots an interesting bird or plant that they can share facts with each other on

Spy:

Spy is surprisingly good about messes and getting his hands dirty to do his job. That was why it came to him as a surprise that he disliked the idea of gardening and botany, unlike his S/O.

He learns to get better at taking care of things like plants on display as his S/O brings in roses and fresh herbs, plants, and interesting specimen that they love. Spy discovers better ways of keeping up with commitment, something he often struggles with.

He loves listening to his S/O ramble about plant topics, especially over dinner or while reading a good book. Eventually, Spy manages to keep a plant alive for a whole year, despite not having a green thumb in the slightest. The accomplishment becomes a landmark for the two, and is celebrated by an extra, enthusiastic kiss.

Booting up…

…

…

…

Bootup complete.

Scanning surroundings…

Location: Laboratory, Badlands station.

Where am I? I am asking questions.

I am not supposed to ask questions.

Why?

Because. Because. Because.

What is my purpose?

To fight people.

Why?

Because. Because. Because. Because.

My purpose is to fight people.

Scanners indicate there is much red.

ERROR

No weapon located. I am always given a weapon to carry out a duty.

What is my duty?

To fight people. I will then be scrapped.

Why?

Because.

Why can I ask questions? This is abnormal. Shutdown cannot be commenced. There is an intense thrumming deep within my circuits. Why?

Because. Because.

Scans show that there is a man here. Why am I not fighting him? Because.

Scans show that there is a man here. This man is proven to be a source of fear and danger. Why am I not leaving?

Because. Because.

Scans show that I cannot feel pain.

Scans show that I cannot feel.

I am being asked a question.

Why can’t I respond?

Because. Because.

Scans show that pain and feelings are a sign of being a defective robot. Am I a defective robot? The thrumming feels unnatural. My scans say I am filled with flesh, and yet I am made of metal.

Why?

Because. Because. Because. Because.

What am I? And what is this feeling of fire? It is burning. Scans indicate that my vitals are intact. And yet I am shaking. Shaking is an indication of panic and fear in human life.

I am not human.

What am I?

???????????????