Trans tips #9!
Dont be embarrassed of yourself!
Somewhat story time, but it has a lesson, I promise!
I'm no longer sick! And I went out to dinner with some friends, my fiancé, and my younger sibling (NB) Whom knows about my transness
Well, we were at a Mexican restaurant when the manager walked up and was making conversation with the table. Eventually, he asked how we all knew eachother.
Now, some information about me, I still have long, blue hair that I am finally growing out after years of cutting it, and I'm pre-t. For the most part, not passing at all.
But my sibling introduced me as their brother
I felt super embarrassed
The manager asked "Brother? Who's your brother?"
Sibling points at me again, very casually, "yeah, so, my brother, his fiancé, (their) friends, ect..."
Manager starts pointing around the table, asking again "who is your brother?"
Sibling points to me again and very dismissively calls me their brother again
Now, overall, very proud of my sibling for sticking to their guns and not backing down
But in that moment I was so beyond embarrassed!
At the end I just wanted to tell them so let it go and let the manager call me their sister or something, anything to end the conversation, get me out of this mess, stop everyone from staring at me, I want a molcajete and a margarita at this point, thank you, yeah I'll pay let's just wrap this up please sibling shut UP
I was so annoyed with them
But, that was a few days ago, and I've since calmed down and I've been thinking about it all
I was the first in my family to ever come out. I've expressed my gender and sexuality differently for the last couple of years, and when my sibling came out as Nonbianary, I got them their first flag, and I walked them through coming out, and I showed them their options and their resources
And they received backlash
Because people (especially our family) weren't used to the idea of Nonbianary
My sibling considered de-transitioning
Going back to "normal"
Hiding in the closet
But I told them No! If someone doesn't refer to you by your chosen name, don't respond! I won't! I don't know who [deadname] is! I only know the name You told me! Fuck anyone who says otherwise!
Do you think I'm able to date and be engaged to the most wonderful and beautiful person in all of existence by hiding in the closet when people are mean to me? FUCK NO!
Stand up, say it with your chest, own it, and you'll be so much happier! So much more free!
They're just doing what I thought them to do
Dont be ashamed of who you are, and when you are ashamed, I won't be ashamed of you.
I can't hide in the closet, I am Valid
I may not pass, I am Valid
I may not be able to medically transition, I am Valid
I may like my hair longer, I am Valid
My voice isn't as deep as I want it to be, I am Valid
I am Valid, and You are Too
As long as you are safe to do so, don't be ashamed or afraid to come out;
And when you are, have someone else who can speak up for you!