Okay but some in the JL has definitely gone through the Watchtower security cam footage and made a compilation video of Captain Marvel banging his head on the top of a doorway.
And I’m pretty sure we all know that he must do that a lot.
Scenario where Mr. Mind forgets his voice amplifier and when he stands in front of Billy about to monologue, Billy doesn’t notice him and just steps on Mr. Mind, killing him.
So like a few months later, Billy’s just wondering if Mr. Mind retired cause he hasn’t shown up recently.
Thinking about Mary Marvel picking up Captain Marvel (Billy Batson) from Justice League missions/meetings like she’s picking him up from school. And I’m not talking the N52 Mary where’s she’s much older than Billy, I’m talking TWIN Mary!
Mary Marvel: “sooo, how was it? Make any new friends?”
Captain Marvel: “yeah! And I met superman!!!”
Mary Marvel: “that’s nice Billy”
Tawky Tawny, walking past another tiger that was quite rude to him once: *starts very obviously showing off his opposable thumbs*
The tiger: 🤬
Scenario where Billy loses one of his last baby teeth but it transfers over to Captain Marvel.
So everyone in the JL is freaking out cause they thought Cap was almost indestructible! So how on earth did his tooth get knocked out?
And when they ask him what happened, he says he bit into an apple and it came out (completely true). But of course none of the JL believe him and they just assume he isn’t telling them the truth cause he doesn’t want to worry them.
And then one day when Captain Marvel flashes another one of his signature megawatt smiles, they see that in the gap of his missing tooth… A NEW ONE IS GROWING IN????
Captain Marvel (Shazam) AU where Billy thinks the JL knows his identity so he’ll just walk around the Watchtower as Billy. So others see this random kid and —in all the wisdom of the smartest heroes in the world— they assume he’s just a ghost haunting the place.
Cue identity shenanigans
Superman, in the middle of a battle: *gets hit by a shard of kryptonite*
Batman: *grabs the shard and hands it to Captain Marvel*
Batman: “Captain! Get rid of this, quickly!”
Captain Marvel: *panics and eats the kryptonite*
Batman:
Captain Marvel:
Superman:
Captain Marvel: “I PANICKED OKAY???”
Superman: “SO YOUR FIRST THOUGHT WAS TO EAT IT???”
Batman: “Please tell me you don’t often eat things to get rid of them…”
Captain Marvel:
Captain Marvel: *turns around and flies back into battle*
I need a fic where all the magic users know that the Champion of Magic is a child so they just start unintentionally co-parenting Billy.
Like, John Constantine will take him on outings to hell. Billy will run off and come back with a piece of Constantine’s soul that had been gambled away and Billy will refuse to explain how he got it.
Dr. Fate (against his better judgment) sets up a playdate between Billy and Klarion the Witch Boy where they are just running around causing chaos (nothing harmful thanks to Billy)
Zatanna lets Billy come to her shows where he’s putting every other audience member to shame with how loud he claps and cheers whenever Zatanna does a trick.
Give me a scenario where magic users are regularly teleporting into the watchtower just to give Captain Marvel a packed lunch, and telling him off —in front of the JL— for forgetting it.
Every time somebody asks Billy why he doesn’t do a thing half the time he answers with “House number [insert number here]” and the JL eventually don’t question him further and just apologise before shuffling away awkwardly.
Billy Batson answering (as Captain Marvel) the question of why he doesn't join in for a drink with the group after being pressured for the 800th time, this time by Guy, who already pisses Billy off in general tho he tries to hide it.
"House number 5. I don't drink."
"what the hell does that mean?"
"foster home number 5. Got beat black and blue by the foster parents bc one of the other kids stole their liquor and they blamed it on me. Nasty alcoholics, the both of them. So I told myself, when I grow up, I won't touch the stuff."
Guy tries back pedaling, but one of the others has already slapped him upside the head for pushing the captain.
"I'm sorry you went thru that cap, I guess we shouldn't have been bothering you to drink so much"
Idk something along the lines of whether true or not, Billy decides to tell them something that'll make them regret pushing. Still kinda percolating in my brain
Need me a fic where Captain Marvel’s identity is revealed and Billy just starts running from all these heroes trying to parent him.
And it isn’t just the Justice League…
YJ would do anything for that man (boy?), at least after they get over the fact their father figure is actually younger than them.
The Titans bout to have Raven pull up the ancient scrolls to find a way to summon the Champion of Magic. (They are also trying to get over the fact that their father figure is younger than them)
The Outlaws are definitely ready to fight every other superhero team for him. (And, you guessed it! They are also trying to get over the fact their father figure is younger than them)
Meanwhile Billy is just like: “first CPS, now this? How does one get 50 different superheroes off their back?”
Semi inspired by the father figure Captain marvel posts
THISSS! But imagine he just starts picking up even more cause of past champions and the gods in his head.
So Captain Marvel starts muttering phrases in dead languages and no one can keep track of it, probably not even Billy!
Billy slowly starts picking up just little common Spanish expressions that Rosa used often after living with them for a while. Batman’s conspiracy board on Marvel just got even larger.
For Halloween Captain Marvel Jr dresses up as a really niche character and no one gets it.
But then like some civilian kid points at Jr and yells the character’s name really excitedly and then Jr flies down with stars in his eyes and gets just as excited as the kid.
Somebody records the interaction and every time it comes up Jr gets really embarrassed.
Have some de-aged Batman.
You can’t convince me that Batman wasn’t a angsty teen full of spite and anger.
———
Superman: “so, in the future you become a vigilante named Batman!”
Bruce, sitting cross legged in the corner of the room refusing to go near any of the JL: “I fucking hate bats, I swear those little flying rat-like shits want to kill me”
Flash, a look of pure shock on his face: “Batman was scared of bats?!?!?”
Green Lantern, wheezing with surprised laughter: “BATMAN WAS SCARED OF BATS!!!”
———
Bruce, staring at Green Arrow: “Ollie”
Green Arrow: “Bruce”
Bruce, looking Green arrow up and down with a judgmental look on his face: “you’ve aged-”
Green Arrow trying to finish his sentence: “well?”
Bruce, completely deadpan: “no”
Green Arrow: “…”
Bruce: “…”
Green Arrow turning around and speed walking away: “Okay! Bye!”
———
Bruce, pulling out a cigarette from nowhere and then lighting it with some random lighter.
Superman, nervously walking up to Bruce because he doesn’t know how to act around him: “hey Bruce? You shouldn’t be smoking in the watchtower… or like, anywhere”
Bruce just staring at him now: “…”
Superman, practically sweating now: “y’know, cause you’re… well… 16?”
Bruce, with a look of complete seriousness: “I’ll stop smoking when I inevitably smash a hole through one of the windows and let myself —and hopefully everyone else— get sucked into space to freeze and die”
Superman, backing away while trying to figure out if he was joking or not: “okay I’m just going to go now…”
———
Bruce: “so you can make anything with that ring?”
Green Lantern: “yep! Anything”
Bruce: “can you make a crowbar?”
Green Lantern, thinking he’s bonding with Bruce and conjures up a crowbar: “yeah”
Bruce, grabs the crowbar without warning and throws it at Green Arrow’s meeting chair, effectively making a huge dent in it.
Bruce: “cool” *walks away*
Green Lantern: *horrified and confused*
Some random kid in a red hoodie (Billy) absolutely bolting past Flash: AAAAAA-
A bunch of JL members running after him: *confused yelling and questions being shouted at the kid*
Flash: *long sip from his coffee*
Flash: I feel like I should be doing something… I just can’t put my finger on what…
Things I think Captain Marvel has done to make money (some are inspired by random posts I remember but can’t find)
Sells embarrassing photos of the JL to the younger superheroes
Sells kryptonite thrown at him to the Fawcett City black market where it’s bought and thrown at him again
Using his lightning to spell stuff out in the sky for other heroes anniversaries (price depends on the person paying)
YJ paid him to juggle all of them at once. Goes without saying it ended in disaster
His tooth was knocked out by Black Adam once and Billy sold it to Batman (Batman wanted to study Cap’s dna and Billy just went “money is money”)
Many of the sidekicks (current or former) have paid him to blow up their mentor’s mailbox with lightning and Billy, once again, went “money is money”
Took kids flying (for a fundraiser, but it still counts)
Paid to eat really hot peppers or anything difficult to eat in general
He did a little jig once for 20 bucks
Captain Marvel in the Watchtower rec room.
Green Lantern (Hal) & Flash: *giggling at something on GL’s phone*
Audio coming from the phone: *bang*“Ow!”—*clang* “Ouch!”—*thump* “ack!”—*thud*“Ow …I think that left a dent…”
Captain Marvel, clearly annoyed: “you’re really watching that again?”
Green Lantern: “sorry dude! It’s just so funny!”
Captain Marvel: *turns around to walk out the room but bangs his head on the top of the door frame*
Flash: *falls out of his chair laughing*
Okay but some in the JL has definitely gone through the Watchtower security cam footage and made a compilation video of Captain Marvel banging his head on the top of a doorway.
And I’m pretty sure we all know that he must do that a lot.
Okay but someone in the JL has definitely gone through the Watchtower security cam footage and made a compilation video of Captain Marvel banging his head on the top of a doorway.
And I’m pretty sure we all know that he must do that a lot.
Idea: Captain Marvel (Shazam) gets knocked so hard by magic that it sends his conscience spiralling into one of the past champions.
Captain Marvel just lying down in a massive crater: ow
Superman, rushing over to Marvel: Captain! Are you alright?!
Captain Marvel: *stands up and stares at this random blue man*
Superman, getting increasingly worried: What happened?
Marvel, looking down at himself and talking in a dead language: Yo, why am I a man????
Superman, looking rightfully confused at him not speaking english anymore: Captain?
Marvel, looking at his hands in increasing confusion: …why am I WHITE????
Random Captain Marvel things I think confuses the JL (yes, obviously this is inspired by Wonderjanga)
———
Everyone at the Justice League debrief meeting after a mission
Captain Marvel, randomly standing up and looking a little sick: “uh, please excuse me”
Batman: “Captain, you cannot just-“
Captain Marvel: *turns away and projectile vomits a bunch of letters onto the wall*
Batman: “…”
Batman: “you are excused.”
Captain Marvel, picking up the letters and sifting through them like it’s normal mail: “aw man! Another bill!”
Wonder Woman, shaking her head with a disapproving sigh: “man’s world and their idiotic delivery methods”
Superman: “oh Diana, that’s not- actually, nevermind”
———
Captain Marvel: *sitting in the JL watchtower cafeteria blowing out a candle on a small birthday cake.*
Green lantern, walking in to see him: “oh Cap! It’s your birthday???”
Captain Marvel with childlike glee on his face: “Yeah! I’m turning 11!”
Green Lantern: “wait wha-“
Captain Marvel: “and 3! And 41,024,618! And 350,597,120,140!”
Green Lantern: “excuse me what-“
Captain Marvel, checking an hourglass duck taped to his wrist: “oops! I gotta go or I’ll be late for Dinosaur sledding with Tawky Tawny!”
Captain Marvel: *zips out the room with the cake, leaving a very confused Green Lantern behind.*
Green Lantern: “Dinosaur sledding???”
———
Superman: *walks into the watchtower break room to see Captain Marvel and a younger blue version of him playing catch with a jar that holds a screaming worm inside.*
Superman: “Captain, who is this??? Why is there a worm in the jar and why on earth are you throwing it?”
Mr. Mind: “RELEASE M-“
Captain Marvel after chucking the jar straight at blue Captain Marvel’s head: “oh hi Supes! This is my older brother!”
Blue Captain Marvel after almost dropping the worm who is now screaming profanities: “holy crap! You’re Superm-!”
Before blue Captain Marvel can finish, a portal opens behind him and he gets sucked in screaming.
Superman, now with his fists up: “Captain Marvel! Get back!”
A younger girl version of Captain Marvel pokes her head out of the portal: “yo, Cap! Sivanna gave Tawny fleas and now Tawny seems like he’s gonna commit murder!”
Captain Marvel, flying into the portal without hesitation: “bye Supes!”
Superman, just standing there shellshocked: “I need to sit down…”
I need more Captain Marvel (Shazam) content where all the gods treat him like their baby nephew/baby cousin.
Like I’m talking pinched cheeks, hair ruffling, picking him up under his armpits like a cat, cooing, excessive gifts (but since they are all old as shit as well as literal gods it’s stuff like solid gold bars, little wooden toys, ceremonial daggers and a goat that one time).
It happens both when he’s Billy Batson and when he’s Captain Marvel.
So imagine the JL seeing their heaviest hitter and brick wall of a man having his cheeks pinched and him being swung and dangled around like a rag doll by these 10ft tall gods that came outta nowhere.
Cass, coming back from her fight to the “death” with Shiva: “I lived bitch, and so did Shiva”
Babs: “I’m so happy you’re alive! but we really gotta unpack that later…”
So we've had "skill issue," we've had "lock in," we've had "where we droppin' boys" but I put forward that if there's any one piece of borrowed internet slang Cass would get constant use out of in her day to day crimefighting career it would be "I lived bitch."
Imagine if you will; Billy de-transforms during a mission and gets knocked out. He wakes up in the JL medbay, and street kid ACAB instincts kick in (cause Solomon isn’t around) and Billy kicks the nearest authority figure (green space cop) in the shin and bolts out the room.
Ofc he pretty quickly realises his mistake, but what’s done is done and you gotta commit to the bit.
Identity shenanigans ensue.
Thinking of if Captain Marvel (Shazam) turned (sorta) evil and how that would happen.
I can’t actually see him going full evil cause Billy to me is a little ball of sunshine. But in the end he is a child therefore is more vulnerable than any of the adults.
So I can see revenge driving him to kill a villain, not inherently turning him evil, but definitely against his morals.
What if somebody kills someone close to him? What if he is forced to finally see the evil side of the world that even the adults can’t always handle? If he were to have a villain arc it wouldn’t be black and white. He’d be driven to do things by corruption and the idea that he was protecting someone else.
Billy is good, but in the end he is also a vulnerable child who has been given a great power that shows him the hidden evils of a world that has already done him so wrong. He doesn’t have the judgement of an adult as Billy, maybe he might as Captain Marvel with the wisdom of Solomon, but he’s also Billy half of the time.
Idk my brain is just making me sad thinking of a world where Billy was given to much power for his mental health to handle and then someone close to him was killed, nudging him off the edge into a pit of grief and revenge.
Love fics where Batman’s identity is revealed as Bruce Wayne and the JL is just not connecting the dots.
But I need a fic specifically where the JL is in a situation where they have to lay low in a safe house or whatever for a few days while they figure out their next move and Bruce just takes off his cowl without explanation and somebody looks up to see BRUCE WAYNE in their secret hideout.
The entire JL: *tired from fighting and crashing in the nearest safe house to hide out in for the next few days while they figure out their next move*
Batman, putting a lot of thought into it: ‘well I don’t want to have to wear all my body armour and my cowl for the next few days, and I trust these people with my life, so I think I can safely take my mask off and reveal my identity’
Batman, without a word even though he should probably say a whole speech and explain why: *takes his cowl off and silently continues with his work in the corner of the room*
The ENTIRE JL: *doesn’t notice*
Someone, probably Hal Jordan: *looks up to see BRUCIE fucking WAYNE sitting in the shadows of their top secret hideout*
Hal:
Hal: WHAT THE FUCK
The JL: *freaking out because why is a civilian billionaire in the secret safe house and how did he get in without the worlds strongest and smartest heroes knowing?*
Also the JL: WHERE THE HELL IS BATMAN????
Bruce: *politely sitting in the corner, still working while he waits for someone to ask him a question instead of incoherently screaming at each other about him*
GCPD Officer: You’re under arrest for attempting to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Jason: Damn, Bruce is gonna kill- wait, three?
GCPD Officer: yes, three.
Steph: oh shit
Tim: Cass fucking fell off!
Cass, somehow hanging off the back off the motorcycle by her fingers with ease: no I didn’t?
GCPD Officer, surprised: Jesus Christ!
Steph, shaking Jason’s shoulders: quickly! While he’s distracted!
Jason, speeding off with Cass still hanging off the motorcycle: shit, now we gotta pay Babs off so she doesn’t show Bruce the CCTV footage!
Tim: *falls off 2 minutes later*
Bruce would adopt it
Selina would openly let Bruce adopt it because she thinks it’s a lil funny
Dick would play games with it but might play games that are not in any child’s skill set, cause he could do entire circus routines and etc at that age
Jason would be decent but then leave it alone in a room with MULTIPLE hazards (open windows on second story, stuff cooking on the stove, etc) even if just for a second
Tim would full on forget it was there at times while he got absorbed in cases and then look up to see the child has either hurt itself accidentally or has eaten every single sugary thing in sight and has thrown up.
Steph would adore it but she would forget what things children couldn’t do. Like she would forget it’s a child and ask it to make dinner cause “I did it yesterday and it’s your turn now” so she would forget it’s not just her roommate.
Cass would absolutely love it to bits, but she obviously has no idea what exactly children could do (like Steph or Dick) because she was such an unusual child. So she would let it basically do whatever it wanted as long as it didn’t hurt itself too bad (letting it eat so much sugar, staying up SUPER late, etc)
Damian would drop kick that mf
I took out Barbara and Alfred because they're too obvious.
Headcanon that Cassandra Cain uses communication cards for when she is overstimulated and can’t get the words out, or she doesn’t quite know the word for it. And Jason snuck a UNO reverse card in with her communication cards and now she uses it unironically and sometimes it doesn’t even make sense.
An equally sleep deprived Tim: go get some sleep, Cass, I’ll patrol.
Cass: *pulls out a fucking UNO reverse card* nuh-uh
*proceeds to knock him out (affectionately) and go on patrol*
———
Some rogue: you’ll never catch me!
Black Bat who cannot be bothered to come up with a response: *pulls out UNO reverse card with no explanation*
Spoiler: *proceeds to drop down from somewhere and onto the rogue* HAHA! UNO REVERSE, BITCH!
———
Jason: Yo mama so fat, her bellybutton arrives home five minutes before she does!
Cass: *pulls out an UNO reverse card*
Jason, who’s been waiting for this day ever since he first put that UNO card in her communication cards: *Smugly pulls out his own UNO reverse card*
Cass, undeterred: *Pulls out a second UNO reverse card that Jason didn’t give her*
Jason, surprised but prepared: *pulls out another reverse card*
This just ends with them having to clean up like over 50 cards because Alfred got cross with them just standing there and throwing cards at each other.
———
Black Bat: *runs out of bat-a-rangs so for the rest of her patrol she just throws UNO reverse cards at rogues and for some reason it works almost as well*
Some random civilian: *records Black Bat just pelting some mugger with UNO reverse cards* What the fuck.
———
Later on some reporter got lucky and managed to shove a microphone in Black Bat’s face before she could grapple off.
Reporter: could you tell us why you have been spotted using UNO reverse cards as rebuttals to villains?
Black Bat: *very slowly hands the reporter a UNO reverse card whilst making intense eye contact with the camera* No.
———
Black Bat and her UNO reverse cards is now a meme.