Babysitting - Blog Posts

Bruce would adopt it

Selina would openly let Bruce adopt it because she thinks it’s a lil funny

Dick would play games with it but might play games that are not in any child’s skill set, cause he could do entire circus routines and etc at that age

Jason would be decent but then leave it alone in a room with MULTIPLE hazards (open windows on second story, stuff cooking on the stove, etc) even if just for a second

Tim would full on forget it was there at times while he got absorbed in cases and then look up to see the child has either hurt itself accidentally or has eaten every single sugary thing in sight and has thrown up.

Steph would adore it but she would forget what things children couldn’t do. Like she would forget it’s a child and ask it to make dinner cause “I did it yesterday and it’s your turn now” so she would forget it’s not just her roommate.

Cass would absolutely love it to bits, but she obviously has no idea what exactly children could do (like Steph or Dick) because she was such an unusual child. So she would let it basically do whatever it wanted as long as it didn’t hurt itself too bad (letting it eat so much sugar, staying up SUPER late, etc)

Damian would drop kick that mf

I took out Barbara and Alfred because they're too obvious.

Ghost

It’s a dream I had. I was killed and transformed into a ghost, so nobody could interact with me—except this baby. This baby could see and touch me, so I was carrying him everywhere to make him communicate for me.

And when I talked, it was like they could hear something, somewhere, but they couldn’t see it was me right in front of them, no matter what I did.

It’s tiring to be a ghost.

Martra’s kids live in hardcore mode

Actual parent: Kenyan (can’t take care of herself, much less of her son)

Wine dad: Sylris (gives alcoholic drinks to the child; his intentions aren’t clear)

Great at babysitting: Hiélo (the child wouldn’t be alive without him)

Mediocre at babysitting: Yuno (eats raw meat and offers to the child)

The house is on fire, god is dead: Behati (took the child to an execution and tried to kill the goddess)

Is the child: Ethan (he’s unable to understand how they survive like this)

The only ones following Martra’s culture is Hélio and Yuno; the others are plainly traumatized and traumatizing. Still, as an Earthling, Ethan is horrified by all of this ❤️

(Hiélo would sacrifice himself for Ethan; it’s a rule that all the children are extremely important and have to be cared of to protect their innocence. He still sees Ethan as a child.)

(Auvies eat raw meat; has an intense sweet taste, according to them. Yuno pretends the blood is juice.)

Demons and Drag pt 5

Anitri was just sitting on the couch, minding his own business, when Jem slammed open the door with an irritated look on their face.

"Hello...?" He asked, hoping that they were not about rant about a frustrations.

Jem looked over at him, made a face like a lightbulb light up in their head and started towards him.

"Welp, I'm dead," was Anitri's only thought as Jem approached.

"You're going to babysit tonight." They said in a definite voice.

"We're gonna what?" Surri asked as she walked in the living room.

Jem glanced up at her, before walked towards the kitchen.

"Y'all are gonna babysit this evening because Nikki's nanny is sick and she can't miss tonight," they said as they disappeared around the corner.

Surri stopped short and her face contorted to a confused scowl.

"Hey! I don't babysit!!! What do you take me for?"

Anitri just shook his head. He was completely fine with babysitting, as he loves kids and used to babysit for Dallas all the time. Their step siblings were so precious.

"Come back here!" Surri protested, following Jem into the kitchen.

Anitri pushed the hair out of his eyes, noticing the black tips were shimmering with wisps of color.

He froze.

"Hey Surri?" he called, through the doorway.

"What?" She yelled back to him, peeking through the frame. Her eyes widened.

"It's in the second drawer on the left."

He nodded and disappeared down the hall.

Surri turned back into the kitchen, facing Jem with the most unimpressed look she could muster. Jem stares her down with a look that said, you puny, puny fox, you think you can intimidate me? Think again. But y'know without a smirk.

Surri groaned and rolled her eyes, "When will they be here?"

Jem let slip a smirk, "6:00, 4 kids"

Mind you, it was 4:30.

"How old are they?"

"17, 15 year old twins, and an 18 month."

"Teenagers? Can't they stay home by themselves?" Surri questioned.

"Well, Tim, the 17 year old, has autism which leads to his anxiety spiking when there aren't any adults around. He feels more comfortable when supervised so he knows he isn't doing anything wrong." Jem explained. "And one of the twins tends to have..." they paused, "episodes."

Surri nodded, understanding seeping in.

"Any allergies?"

Jem snorted.

"These kids'll eat anything you put in front of them, but Harper, the baby, loves macaroni and cheese."

Jem makes their way out of the kitchen, calling over their shoulder, "Also the babies half demon."

***

6:00 dead on, there was a knock on the door.

Jem answered the door. On the other side there were 5 people. The only one Surri remotely recognized was "Nikki" or as Surri knew her, Morher of F’s, who was holding the baby, Harper.

Harper had a purple tail. And an extra arm.

‘And I thought Madison’s kids were weird’ Surri thought to herself.

Following Nikki upon entire, there was a tall, like tall tall, like as almost as tall as Anitri, ginger with a freckle smacked face and bright green eyes lookin like some Harry Potter Weasley reject.

Next there were two boys that looked like they were probably twins, which woo hoo, one was lookin like a bottom trying a tad to hard to be a top, with an undercut and his short blonde hair swept into a ponytail. He had a leather Jacket with patches on each sleeve.

The other twin was more the nerdy type with glasses, a sweater vest and khakis. He had a book under his arm and his hair down. He looked like if Logan Sanders had a sense of humor and blonde hair.

And Harper was a baby. With poofy black hair and a cat onesie.

“This is Surri, she and Anitri will be in charge while your Mom and I are at work. Anitri is doing something and will be in here soon.” Jem explained to the charges of the evening.

Surri glared at the boys and stopped when she looked at the blonde bottom.

He was tugging on his sleeves and looking at the floor.

Surri put two and two together rather quickly.

“Hey,” she said, nodding at them.

“Hi!!! I’m Tim! I’m so excited to meet you, do you like Harry Potter! I love Harry Potter, especially the books, have you read the books, my favorite one was... oh what was it called...” he trailed off, wringing his hands on the strap of his satchel.

The blonde bottom put his hand on his arm and said, “Prisoner of Azkaban.”

Tim looked at him with a huge smile and nodded.

The blonde looked to Surri and introduced himself.

“I’m James,” he nodded to his look alike, “that dweeb is Adam.”

“Hey!” Adam reaches forward and tugged on James wolf tail.

“Hey!” James jokingly glared over his shoulder.

Surri rolled her eyes trying to suppress a smile. They remind her of her other siblings.

“Okay! We have to get going,” Nikki said, handing Harper to Adam.

“Boys.” Nikki said, all of them turning to look at her, “behave.”

She then turned and strutted out of the door, Jem winking at them before following her.

Surri observes the collection of characters in front of her.

Harper was chewing on the hood of her onesie, looking absolutely content.

Adam was bouncing her lightly on his hip, staring at her and humming.

James had turned to the side to face Tim. From this angle, Surri could see he had a trans flag on his sleeve and a rainbow flag on the back panel of his leather jacket.

Tim was looking down at James while continuing his rambling about the Harry Potter movies.

This’ll be a fun night, Surri tells herself as she walks over to join the Harry Potter discussion.

*******************

Lemme know if you want to see the boys and Harpers designs!

I'm going home to see my family that I haven't seen in months and instead of spending time with me, they want to go do a religious service that I'm not a part of. Maybe I'm just being a bitch but they could literally go do this any other time! Why is it the one weekend that I'm there that they have to go??

Not to mention they're saddling me with my 13 nieces and nephew. No, no, don't ask if I'm fine with it (despite my numerous and very vocal statements how I don't like children). Clearly it'll be fine... after all, this was the entire purpose and how I was raised, to be a mother and caregiver.

Rant time of the day.

So , I was running late to pick up this Lady that I babysit kid’s and I had to pick up one of her kids at the field house because she has practice for a sport there. I told her that I would be running twenty minutes late at first and she’s like and i quote “that’s not good.” I was hoping she’d atleast understand because you know, life. Because of that, I was like, okay I’ll be there in ten minutes then and hope I don’t run over anyone tonight because I’ll be flying. I typed in where I thought I was going to go and I was like okay, I should be there in about four minutes. I told her that and she’s like okay. So I go to where Google Maps tells me to go and then I was like, I’m in the dark and I’m by a bunch of apartments, this doesn’t look right. She calls with her daughter on the line and I was like i think i’m here, but I’m having trouble finding where it’s and she’s like, just look up the fieldhouse, they should have it on Google. I was like, okay. I unknowingly was like okay and then looked it up, turns out I went the wrong place and it was going to take me atleast six more minutes than I’d promised her. So I was like, okay; I’ll just need to drive really fast. Mind you, this was like at 7 at night and where I live is very dark at night-you’ll need to know that for later reference. So I go over to the actual destination. To make a long rant short, she kept calling me and asking if I was there yet, while I was driving. I mean, this lady had no chill. I was like chill out and calm down, I’ll pick up your kid when I pick up your kid. Im not going to abandon her like some idiot. I keep following where Maps was taking me and she like literally calls five minutes later and is like where the heck are you? You’re now going to be late to pick up so and so… and you need to plan ahead when you’re picking up children. I was like I know I’m sorry and life just gout in the way and I really can’t control that. I didn’t say that to her, it I was like I’m sorry. And so I keep driving around this dark area and hope I don’t hit anyone, all the while while I’m talking to her and she’s like gettin impatient with me, like really impatient with me. I even told her I was following Google maps and telling her it was telling me I was three minutes away and I even told her what freaking street I was on. Then she’s like and very rudely, I might add just go to the high school, can you do that? Drive to the High School. I was like, okay I can do that. So I drive to the high school because I at least know where that is in the dark corner of the town. I drive over there, but I don’t know how to get to the field house because I saw it(finally). Also, this lady is horrible at describing things and telling people where things are, so that was partly the reason why it was hard to figure out where the field house was. She never said anything about the field house being on school property and was all like it’s across from the high school. So I literally thought it was across from the high school. Also, again, Google maps was leading me somewhere entirely different. At this moment, I was like maybe ten minutes late picking up her daughter and she was being no freaking help and getting frustrated with me. Anyways, I go into school parking lot and I wait at the front. She freaking calls again and is like are you there yet? I was like, I’m in the parking lot, but like I can’t see her. Then she had the audacity to be like in a rude way go inside and go get her. She’s not going to know that you’re outside. That caught me off guard and then she started saying all these other things to me and at that moment, I was just ready to give up and tell this sassy and stuck up lady that I was done and she can pick up her own freaking child. Like atleast she should be grateful that I’m taking time out of my day to pick up your child who is probably spoiled because of you. I park and go inside and knock on the gym door because atleast they could help me a little better. A guy comes out and I was like, do you know how I get to the field house?

He didn’t really know, but if he could remember from previous times, there was a road that led to it and then he told me it was really new. That caught me off guard because she didn’t tell me and I had this thought that the reason why maps was leading me a different way because maybe they hadn’t updated the address to the NEW field house yet. That kind of made me frustrated and I was already frustrated because she was yelling at me and calling me every five minutes to see if I picked up her kid yet and the things she yelled at me were not very nice.

I literally broke down in front of this guy and told him about how I was going to be late to pick up someone. Atleast he had the compassion to tell me that he hopes my night gets better and I was like thanks. Anyways; after a few minutes of driving around trying to find a road in this dark area, I finally find a road and just go with it. She calls me a few more times and I just ignore it because I’m done dealing with her right now and she’s not helping me feel better about anything at all at this point.

I pick up the daughter and we finally pick up the son. While like back at the situation, all I’m thinking now is why couldn’t she just send her daughter’s number over SO HER DAUGHTER could give me instructions on where it’s actually at. That night too, to ease the pain on the children( I bought them McDonald’s with a card I had no money on. All the while, I kept thinking about the situation and it was just bad. I have never had anyone, except my mom get mad at me the way she did. Like she was treating me very disrespectfully and saying all these terrible things to me and making me feel stupid, when alone the place was dark and maps and wasn’t leading me the same way. It was a really bad night for me. I quit that job today and told her that my work basically needed me to start working on Fridays which is the day she usually has me watch her kids and that I couldn’t watch her kids anymore.

I literally don’t need that negative energy ever time she gets “a little” stressed(her words, not mine. Her: I was just a little stressed. Me: a little???? Girl….) in my life at the moment. Like I’m already stressed enough trying to get my Bachelors in Elementary Education, working one job and trying to find another job and working for Uber and Lyft just trying to make ends meet as it is and I have to pay freaking bills. I don’t need some stuck, blonde(forgive me. I’m not saying all blond haired people are mean. She particularly was.) haired crazy person to make me feel more stressed either. I also get it, when it comes to your kids, you want the best, but getting frustrated and getting mad at someone because you’re late picking up their kids and they aren’t doing it the way you want it is pretty ungrateful. Atleast I wasn’t going to abandon them and it’s not like I was just going to leave them there. They can wait for a little while while I try to find the place they are at so I can actually pick them up. When I was young, I had to wait like forty minutes or longer for my mom to pick me up because she was a registered nurse and let me tell you something, I lived and I turned out just fine and grateful even that my mom even picked me up. My mom is strict and sometimes when we missed the bus, she wouldn’t even pick us up and because she worked so much,sometimes she would forget and we had to find our own rides. Atleast your daughter didn’t have to find her own ride and knew exactly that I was picking her up.

She just made me mad and frustrated. Also, she has kids in their senior year of high school and you would think that she wouldn’t need a babysitter anymore for her younger ones because her older kids can watch them, but no. She lets her older kids do whatever the heck they want and they’re all out until atleast 11 to 13 almost every night doing heaven knows what, while I stay home and watch her younger kids and the house is always a mess when I come to watch her kids and she not only expects me to watch her kids, but freaking clean up after them too. These kids are old enough to clean up after themselves and I’m expected to clean up after them. They are between the ages of seven and fourteen. When I was six, my mom made me clean up after myself and if I didn’t, she’d spank me and show me some good, hard lovin’. Did. I mention most of her kids talk back to her too and she lets them? If I talked back to my mom, I would get slapped. That’s what I meant by her kid being spoiled. It makes me wonder if her parents spoiled her when she was a kid to act out and lash at me the way she did. Anyways, sorry for the rant.

Also, nothing against white people, but since this sour moment with her in my life, she gave me the impression that a bunch of white people are superficial, but like they get mad easily and don’t have patience at all. Tell me I’m wrong. I hate having that biased notion. (If you didn’t guess, she’s white.) Because of this, the years that I spent and built up my trust in white people had crumbled and it’s kind of hard for me to trust white people again and look at them as an equal, like I used to. I really hope people are understanding and don’t take that last sentence the wrong way.(For anyone asking, Im apart of The Indigenous American tribe, called The Navajo Tribe/Diné Tribe)

Also, I’m back! And I’m writing again!!!!

Baby Fever

This post is inspired by all the babies running around my family right now. And also a comment I had gotten a while back about König being good with children. I don't know if I should tag them or not, would that be rude?

Warnings: Pure fluff, babies, Soft!König, baby fever König. Toddlers being toddlers. Established relationship.

König knew for certain he did not get baby fever easily. When he saw babies or kids, he would shrug and make a comment about how small they were or something. You were almost the same way, not wanting kids right now but couldn't help but adore the tiny babies and toddlers. You were dating for a while and agreed that kids were not an option right now. So, when you were asked to babysit for your brother and his wife, you asked König to come along to help you.

~~~

You warned König that your brother had two boys and one girl. The boys were 6 (twins) the girl was 1. König made a comment about weird age difference, and you replied, "They get baby fever a lot more often than you know. And they want a big family." He nodded and you added. "She's pregnant again too." Which made König's eyes widen.

When you both arrived there, the boys ran to you excitedly, screaming about their auntie being back. But they quieted when they saw König. The large male stares down at the twin boys, waiting to see what they'll do. The first boy walks up and crosses his arms. "Why are you so big?"

König crossed his arms as well. "Why are you so tiny?"

The second boy laughs. "You sound like a evil bad guy!" The boys take off running and you chuckle at them. You now had a small girl on your hip. She hid her face from König and you smiled, rubbing her back.

"She's a little shy, but her mom said she's due for a nap." You walked him inside just as your brother and a pregnant wife walked out, yelling to call them if you had any trouble. König followed you inside while taking in the interior of the house. You were rocking the girl, humming for her to sleep. "Do you think you can watch the boys while I try putting her down to bed?"

He nodded. König made sure that you couldn't see his nervousness at the thought of watching two boys. You left to go put the young girl to sleep and on que, the twins came running out with play swords. One boy raised his sword at König. "Prepare evil villain! For we will slay you!"

König put his hands up and glared. "Attacking me while I am unarmed? How unfair!" The boys giggled at his accent, and maybe perhaps König was making his accent heavier on purpose, but he wouldn't admit that aloud.

When the small girl, Ember, was asleep, you walked out to the living room to find it empty and the front door open. When you inspect that as well, you find König outside with the boys, Dexter and Derrel. König was kneeling in front of one of them and smearing mud over his cheeks, the other twin boy already being marked by what you assumed was pretend war paint.

You crossed your arms as you watched König stand, some war paint of his own painted messily across his face. He was talking to them but you couldn't hear them.

~

"Why do you sound so funny?" One of the boys with the missing bottom and top teeth asked him. The other boy was only missing a few of his top teeth.

"I am from Austria." König finished his face paint and nodded to himself.

The twin boys looked at each other and then asked separate questions.

"Did you meet Steve Irwin? He catches animals."

"Have you ever wrestled a kangaroo?"

"Do you have to kill spiders as big as your face?!"

"Is it true that you can eat kangaroo like chicken?"

König had frowned, knowing they would misunderstand the moment he said it. "No, boys, that is Australia. Austria is further away." He stands. "Now we can play evil bad guy that gets stopped by cool good guys." The boys were giggling excitedly, and he held his hand up. "But wait, first, I must do something bad." He spied you coming down the steps and nodded. He walks over to you and picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder. "I have stolen your precious auntie, and she will be my prisoner!"

The boys screamed in a panic and rushed him, while you laughed and playfully screamed for help.

~~

A while later, while König and the boys played outside, you got a notification that the baby was awake. "I'll be right back, boys." You stand and walk to the house. When you left, the boy missing both his top/bottom teeth(Dexter) had looked at König.

"Are you going to marry our auntie?"

König thought about this and then answered. "I want to, but your auntie has to like me first. If she doesn't want to marry me, then I won't make her."

"Want me to ask her if she likes you?" He wiped his nose without a care in the world and König grinned.

"No, I am a big boy. I'll find out myself."

The other boy, Derrel, ran up to them while swinging his foam sword. "There's a girl in my class who kissed my friend Barry and it was gross!" He giggled. "Aren't you afraid girls have cooties?"

König chuckled. "I was told that girls and boys have cooties. Did you know cooties come from dirty kids who don't brush their teeth or wash their feet?" He watched the boys make faces, obviously not believing his statement.

You walked out the house with Ember on your hip, smiling down at her while speaking softly. When the boys saw them, Dexter walked up to you. "Emmy doesn't play right when we play games."

"Well, she's a baby, you know." You squat down and set the infant on a blanket laid out in the grass. "She doesn't know how to do much right now. You have to give her time to learn."

Derrel spoke next. "She sleeps a lot too."

König spoke up next. "Babies sleep a lot. When she was growing in your mommy's tummy, all she did was sleep. She was used to it, but now that she is out of your mommy's tummy, she has to get used to being awake. That's why she naps more than you two."

"Poor Emmy." One of them huffed, sitting beside the baby girl and giving her the foam sword which she took happily. "Ah! She has a weapon!"

"No! What have you done! She's unstoppable now!" König gasped dramatically and picked up the other sword. "I will defeat her!"

"No! That's my sister!" Dexter ran at König and jumped on his back. Following was Derrel, and König fell to the ground with a fake grunt of pain. You then picked up the baby girl and helped her walk over to the fallen König, where she screamed in some kind of excited baby scream. The twin boys yelled in victory while sitting atop the large fallen man. Ember held herself up on König's shoulder and he watched defeatedly as a line of drool fell on his face.

"Yack... I've been defeated."

~~~

After König won everyone over with his famous chocolate chip pancakes, everyone was settled down on the couch to watch Scooby-Doo. The boys have taken to sitting in König's arms and Ember played in her baby pin. When König said he never watched Scooby-Doo, the twins were excited to show and tell him all about the mystery-solving dog and the gang. And König was more than happy to listen to all of it. It was about an hour into the movie, and both boys had fallen asleep. König continued watching the movie. You took Ember in your arms and sat down beside them. "They really like you."

He perked up at this, looking over at you and grinning nervously at you and the baby. "You think so? I was nervous I would hurt them accidentally, or they would be scared of me." He watched as Ember reached for him and the Austrian man carefully moved his arm away from one of the boys to hold the small girl in his arms.

You had chuckled softly and laid your head back. "You're doing great with them. But I think those pancakes sealed the deal." You watched as the baby girl curiously poked and pulled at König's chin and lip. He poked his bottom lip out, then stuck his tongue at her. She watched in curiosity before doing the same thing, her hands slapping his face in excitement. You both laughed.

One of the boys woke up and moved over to you, laying his head in your lap and saying it was cold. You pull a blanket over him and gently ran your fingers through his messy hair. After he had fallen back asleep, you look up at König but find him entertaining the baby with his facial expressions.

~~~~

After you and König left, with sad goodbyes from the twins, you noticed how quiet your driver was. Looking up at him, you linked your hand in his free one, causing him to look over at you and interlock his fingers with yours. "What's on your mind?"

A lot. You, him, a family somewhere in the future, you with a wedding band on your left hand and a big belly carrying his child. He was staring forward at the road, and he sighed, a look of annoyance washed over his features. Should he tell you how he felt? What if you detest the idea of having kids with himm "The twins were so rowdy and annoying. Do all kids act that way?"

"Yes. Most of the time."

"And the baby girl, do all babies drool as much as her? It got on my face and my shirt."

"Yes." You watched him carefully, trying to figure out where he was going with this.

"Kids are filthy creatures. And clumsy. And a handful..." he brought the back of your hand up to his lips, holding your hand there for a moment. "And they cry for nothing."

"That's usually a toddler phase." You tilt your head. "König what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong Liebling..." He sighed almost defeatedly. "But I can't help but picture us with our own crazy little children... and I want that very much." He looked at you after stopping at a stoplight. "I know we are not ready for kids yet, and we are not married. But I saw the way you look at them, and how big you smile at them and I can't help but want that too, with our own babies." His eyebrows furrowed in thought while he pressed another kiss to your knuckles. "But, maybe that's wrong to dream only after a day of caring for children."

You sit up in your seat and move your hand to cup his face. "It's not wrong to dream König...it's called baby fever." You smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his nose.

"You would make the most perfect mommy," He says in a desperately soft voice as you press your lips to his nose. He cups your face so you look into his eyes. "I would be honored to be the father. The best father. Say the word Mein Liebling, and I will give you as many children as you desire."

:')

Don't come after me I just- I dunno.

Idea for a Ratchet and Clank Spinoff game about Dr. Nefarious- Part 1/2

Imagine this: Takes place after Rift Apart and involves our beloved doctor trying to learn how to be a good babysitter for Lawrence's baby (Seeing as how he clearly cares about the child), as well as getting into various absurd shenanigans in the process.

Along the way, he re-encounters his dimensional counterpart, Emperor Nefarious, who bafflingly appears to have survived his final fate in the last game (And been spat back out into Doc's dimension), although now as a severely pitiful and broken shell of anything resembling who and what he once was, unsure if he wishes to live or die, but always remembering (Consciously or not) what our doctor told him about success.. Perhaps.. he could...try.. a different way to live? What else does he have left? Physically, imagine C-3PO in ESB after he was blasted apart on Cloud City (This will be important, later), except worse, and Emp. Nef's body, as damaged as it is, being generally held together by wiring, however loosely. Not much he can do, if anything, to defend himself.

By all the laws of the universe, he should be dead, and yet... Fate, however merciful or cruel, has brought and left him at the doctor's mercy. Not to mention, ALL of Doc's instincts should be screaming at him to finish this 'emperor' once and for all (For GOOD this time), as proper supervillain etiquette would dictate.. But, for whatever aggravating reason or inclination, he doesn't, ugh.. "Whatever", he tells himself, I can always kill or torture him later for catharsis or stress release, and, um... Maybe he could pacify the baby too while I'm gone, keephimfromwailinghisheadoff-" BAH, there's no time for this! He's on a tight schedule, and infant food as well as other supplies aren't going to simply appear out of thin air for necessity's sake (If only), so he drags the broken emperor back to his not-so-secret lair, still unsure what to do with him...

TO BE CONTINUED...