Sadness - Blog Posts

Die with a smile

Quelaag and The Fair Lady

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-wTrCBABzM)

And I hope somewhere you hear me still #rose #yellowrose #roseyellow #yellow #flower #wood #lonely #dieing #wiltingflower #pma #wiltingrose #wilting #sadness

star-crossed lovers series, pt.1

-kalika

-kalika

my Birthday

It brings so many emotions. Depression, fear, sadness but also love. My birthday might not be the best day ever. But that might not be a bad thing. I feel like I grow more patient with each passing birthday. I also began trying something new. I started virtual letters from futureme.org which should help me feel better when my next birthday comes around. But I'm 26, age might be a number but sometimes it's a cruel number and I don't like that I'm not 25 anymore. Five at least is my favorite number. But what is six? It's a new number.. An unfamiliar number I don't really like. Next year I should get a surprise email that shares some of my biggest fears and gives me some of my biggest answers. It should hopefully inspire me in some fashion. My anxiety seems to grow worse the more I think about that number. I'd rather not see it again.

How stunning a site :) I could imagine if it was real that it may be so exhilarating.

Softy

Not That.

Sad may be spectacular,

Sad may be soft,

And easy to embrace.

Sad may be sympathetic,

Sad may be funny

Found amidst dry laughs—

Sad may even be romantic.

Oh, Silence (that is golden).

Sad may be incredible

Sinuous streams (sobs)

and slow songs,

Sad may well be soulful,

But do not tell me

That sad is beautiful.

— Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things: A Novel

dont romanticize the sadness. just let it exist plainly, like it did when you were a very young child, when you werent old enough to give it baggage. you'll find it's more devastating and cleansing that way

“It’s easy to know who I am when I am at peace with my sadness.”

— Juansen Dizon

F. Scott Fitzgerald, from a letter to Zelda Fitzgerald

мне больно

No one talks about leaving,

Realizing one day, a day you woke up feeling as if it was going to be any other day, that you no longer love the person the same. The small things you once loved that they put so much effort to go unnoticed. How is it that you woke up and realized you were okay living without them when one day you feared losing them. I think it hurts too, having to tell the person you never planned on being without that things are just not the same and when they ask why, what is there to say? "I woke up on a seemingly normal Wednesday and I realized that you no longer made me feel those puke-worthy butterflies. That I knew I would be okay without you." How do you put that feeling into words? I don't think I will ever be able to give you the answer you deserve and for that I'm Sorry...

I loved you, I always will,

and that’s the problem

because the sad reality is

that I’ll love you way more

than I will ever love myself..

MSI

<If Only>

It’s like walking through a field of flowers

wearing a white flowy dress and you’re happy

you’re picking flowers and it’s a joy so immense

nobody can stop you, you’re free but then

you hit a wall, the flowers in your hands are not there

they’re replaced by rubbish, and then you look back

and it’s no longer the field of flowers.. it’s a mess

a mess that you have no choice but to fix

so you do, you walk back

and start piecing it all together and you’re sad

you’re guilty because you created such chaos

you beat yourself up about it as you see everything;

the people you hurt, the mistakes you made,

the good ideas that were actually bad ideas

then once it’s clean you’re excited.. it’s the field again

and you’re running through it again and it’s scary

because you never know where the wall is

when you’ll be stuck looking at the mess again

but you still enjoy it, you still love the flowers..

MSI

< Bipolar Disorder In My Words >

I remember those five songs I shared with you,

the ones that showed how broken I was and

as we sat on your car staring at the navy blue sky,

the color it usually was at 3am,

I knew you understood

and I don’t think anyone ever will again...

MSI

<My Favorite Playlist is Filled With The Songs You Shared>

And in the fault of our reality

I wished nothing more than

to be able to watch you smile

for the rest of my life...

MSI

<Forever>

And with every word you spoke

you made me feel as though

I was the best thing to ever happen to you

yet I still laid here at night

wondering when you’d leave

because all good things leave

and you were one amazing thing

I knew I couldn’t bare to lose...

MSI

<Bittersweet Nothings>

Do I make you sad?

Art exploration within self Portriture photography.

Projet en cours "la fille aux serpents"

Ongoing project "snake girl"😊

meglio non illudersi per poi non soffrire. se t'illudi su qualcosa e poi non risulta come l'avevi previsto, credimi, muori dentro.

me. 

Rip tik tok you were a real one 😔🙏 im gonna shit in Tom cottons office for you trust.

Letting go

I am letting go

It feels like I’m burning alive and being frozen at the same time

Withdrawal

Sadness sitting in my bones

Memories flooding my brain

But I need to let go

No one should ever be able to hurt me like that and still get my love

Not anymore

I need to move on

Even though I can only think about the good times we had

and it is breaking me in ways I can’t seem to explain

I need to let you go

Because all you did to me

Would be enough to break ten peoples hearts

And still

You managed to do all that to a single one

My one

My still deeply in love one

Maybe we will meet again in another life and our souls will have learned enough to finally make it work

But for now

Please let me let you go

~ honestlywhatfor ~

Wonders

Lilac skies

Fading into snow sprinkled mountains

Soft winds

Making their way up the valley

The smell after rain

Blessing my lungs as I slowly breathe

In the middle of nowhere

As if I were the only person on this planet

And as I am standing here

Admiring the world we live in

Finding beauty in every single piece of nature

Surrounded by countless little wonders

All I can think about

Is you

~ honestlywhatfor ~

Your love hurts

I don’t know what it is about you

That makes you sabotage it every single time

Ripping craters into earth

Opening gates to what might be called hell

Standing on the edge, balanced

Grabbing my hand

Jumping

Clamped together

I never wanted to fall

Life on the edge was great

But again and again

You need us to hurt

So here we are

Falling

and falling

and falling

and falling

~ honestlywhatfor ~

We love each other

neither one of us wants to admit it, but

in the weirdest way possible

we love each other

~ honestlywhatfor ~