Responsibility Sucks - Blog Posts
Money on My Mind
I just went shopping on my way home from being a Home Chef for a friend of mine becasue I wanted to make Stuffed shells for dinner after I made her manicotti. Of course I ended up buying a whole lot more, but honestly I can't just run into the store and grab one item.😅
So I grab a cart and start in the fruit like most people do. Almost out of garlic so I grabbed a big jar cause it goes for a long time. Grabbed some Snap Dragon Apples and Raspberry oranges. Now those all sound boujie but all the apples were $3.99 a bag and my oranges were cheaper than navel ones!😲
So then I head to the areas where I am supposed to be going aka the pasta. I grab Italian bread to make garlic bread and found pie and bagels discounted so scooped those up. I even found a decent size pork roast on discount for tomorrow's dinner! Then I hit the pasta aisle.😄
I found sauce for a crazy sale price and stood in the pasta aisle for like 15 minutes comparing sale prices. I tried to make it down the cookie aisle safely, but I ended up seeing store brand butter cookies so snatch.😆
Next came eggs but I was not worried cause i cased them earlier in the week I knew that I could get 24 for $8.25 which is a steal nowadays. Got a big bag of meatballs that will last a while too. Finally I hit the dairy and to my lovely shock I found butter on sale! Let me tell you even on the holidays I could not find butter on sale like this! I will be going back later this week to grab more cause butter is so expensive right now!😖
Finally grabbed all the cheeses I needed for the shells and found cream cheese on a fantastic sale. Grabbed my daughter's Greek yogurt and then on my way to the register I remembered a vid I watched about olive oil being scarce in the coming months so I decided to check that out and after another 15 min of price comparing I chose one and that was the most expensive thing I bought at $14.99 but it will last me months.🧐
When all is said and done I spent $141.35 and it filled four bags, which is not many, but everything I bought except for the cookies was all healthy and unprocessed or will last months. I think I did damn good! Then I spent $2.89 on a bottle of blackberry Dr. Pepper and made mac and cheese cause it was too late to cook the shells cause I took two hours to shop.😂
No for serious, right now as i am writing this I am roasting the veggies in my fridge so they don't go bad and I can freeze them. I really am trying not to let anything go bad in my fridge anymore cause that was a bad habit we had and it wastes soooo much money. So yeah, I think I did really good and the two most expensive things i bought were the garlic and the olive oil. The pantry is full and we will be too for a few months!🥰
Mata ne Mina!🤗
I Messed Up
Made breakfast for dinner tonight or brinner as it's called in our house cause I fucked up again. I verbally attacked my daughter for not using common sense when I know that she just does not have the capacity to do so due to her autism. 😩
I should know better as an adult too but I just get so frustrated when something that seems so simple to me just doesn't compute with her and I push it down so many times, but this time i lashed out and I feel so guilty.😖
Since I am a Kitchen Witch it means that when I cook I imbue my food with my feelings, desires, and emotions. This can be a good thing cause when I am doing well and feeling wonderful I can make the most amazing meals that taste like the best restaurant in the world served it to you even if it is a simple affair. When I am the opposite I can kill you...okay not kill you, but you can taste in the food that I am not right when I was cooking it.☠️
The fall back is something like breakfast cause it's really hard to fuck up. I did apologize to her and she accepted but the guilt is still there. Thankfully i was able to eat still so my depression didn't get triggered cause that can happen a lot. At least I got to enjoy one of my fav reactors watch Solo Leveling while I ate. Also the Brown Sugar Cured Bacon we got from the farm was a nice touch!😋
Check out the Rock Nation Crew on YT if you enjoy anime and K-Drama. You won't be disappointed! 😉
Feeling Like Something is Missing
Watching You Tube vids and thinking about either eating something or going to bed is a normal thing for me every night, but tonight I feel like something is missing and I can't figure out what it is. 🤔
I mean I just finished a rough work night where I really went too far and I am sure my back and knee will be making me pay for it when I am trying to sleep but i felt fulfilled so that counts for something. Still I feel like something is missing.😖
Tomorrow I can't go to my physical therapy appointment cause my car is getting worked on but at least I have the day off. I am hoping that my body pain is not too much that I can't continue my reorganizing of my kitchen and hopefully my rolling kitchen counter gets put together in the next few days cause that will be really helpful! Al least I got the laundry done yesterday which is a bonus!😉
I don't know, maybe I'm worried about nothing and that's what is missing. Maybe I am not used to thing being okay and less worrisome than they usually are. Maybe that's what's missing. That dread that I usually feel that something is going to go wrong and catch me off guard.😵
Eh, I guess I'll eat something and then sleep on it. Night all.😴
First Day Back
Working at night is very different from the day as I remember. Since I have been with my company for years I have seen the changes go from "if you don't do everything you are in trouble" to "Eh good enough". I don't get that mentality, but my manager just left me alone to do what I knew and the results spoke for themselves I think.🤔
Tonight should be easier since I have a rhythm back so I shouldn't be so late or so tired that I forget to eat...hopefully.😬
Thinking About Making A Tik-Tok
Those are four words, no I am not counting the A fuck it, that I never thought i would ever say. I'm said it before I am not a fan of it at all, but watching the compilations that I have seen on the You Tube channels lately I am feeling a kinship that I never felt before. Interestingly my daughter was not surprised or against it. She always said that if you don't like what you are seeing on a platform, create it. I love how she gets me so much.🥰
That being said I am a horrible procrastinator so I have to over come that first. Oh and if anyone wonders it's not about using it as a side hustle. Honestly I don't even think I could make a nickel posting but just having an outlet to talk about things that I want to that I don't see people talking about and being fairly down to earth in my midnight ramblings I think some might find it interesting and maybe helpful?🤔
My second biggest obstacle would be me or rather my face. Full transparency...I hate myself. Have for the past 41 years of my life and can't see it changing much in the near future. This means if I don't want to see my face, why would I want someone else to. This means I have to figure out what to post for a background as I talk cause I don't want to be like those all talking posts while you watch someone else doing things. That's just weird to me.😵
I guess that's it really. I mean i found a vid on how to get started the right way in 2025 so I will know all the button to unclick and I even have something that would let me take vids so yeah...I guess the only thing holding me back is...facing the fact that no one will care outside of me about anything and that it is a a delusion of mine and I should just...😶
Well anyway that's it for tonight I guess. Gonna try and get actual sleep tonight cause I want to get some stuff done tomorrow in house as my fight towards organized clutter continues in 2025. Oyasuminasai Mina.😴
Weirdly Productive?🤔
I haven't done much today honestly physically cause I still can't, but mentally...yeah I've done quite a lot...if that makes sense.😬
Let me explain. I decided to be part of the low consumer 2025 movement or under consumption core where i only get what I truly need and nothing else. I have been waiting for my taxes to come in order to make this happen and today is the day. 😤
Right away I bought the rolling cart for the kitchen cause I have a kitchen converted from a laundry room...don't ask, and have no counter space to cook properly. Then I got the meat slicer that I needed to buy bulk meat and cut it down to the sizes I need which is gonna save money for sure cause I need super thin meats for Japanese recipes and that is considered exotic or special cut and costs more.🤨
The last thing I picked up was new silverware cause out of three sets i bought in the last three years I have all the knives and nothing else. Yeah...my kids heard it good about that and now it is a $5 charge if I find ANY missing from the new set from everyone. I'm not messing around with this shit.😠
Other than a few used pieces of clothing for my daughter and I from Thred Up and adding three subscriptions for groceries including Costco, I am done. That's it. Also I learned something interesting that might be useful for others. Think about what you make an hour and then think about what you want to buy. How many hours do you have to work afford it? My daughter's sushi plate at Shop Rite is $14.99. That's a little less than an hour of my pay. If I eat my fav at Taco Bell, it's $8.00 and than includes up charge for frozen drink, added rice, and rounding up for charity. That's half an hour of work for me. Interesting huh? Think about that next time you want to treat yourself.🧐
More Reasons to Boycott Walmart😒
My daughter and I have been boycotting Walmart since Thanksgiving when they decided to Roll Back DEI and announce it while every one was eating dinner. Naturally people were pissed and imagine that no one wanted to shop on Black Friday there. I wonder why?😈
Anyway, I've never been happy that I had to buy from Walmart cause I can't afford not to, but after that mic drop I was fully done. Now in the last few months with all the news coming out about lawsuits and screw overs, I am really happy about my decisions even if it means I pay a little more here and there. My conscience is clear.😇
Let me also preface that I do this with all companies that pull shady shit like McD, Valero, Home Dept, and Target to name a few. I pay a lot of attention to where my money goes now and who gets it. Right now I am standing with Costco and Aldi for sure. Take a moment and look up who is being bought to decide who you want to still buy from.😉
Hope This Helps Someone🥺
So straight up I don't use Tik-Tok at all. I have never had an account, ALL my kids do, and I don't want one. Other than here I am not on any SNS since 2020 cause I could not take the toxic bullshit anymore. I was on Twitter, IG, and FB for years before that. I say this cause the only time I see Tik-Toks is on You Tube compilations by the creators I follow. I say this first cause I discovered this from one of those vids.
There is a site that is part of the government called the W.A.R.N. act from the Labor Dept.
You can use this to see if within the next 60 days that your company, provided that they have more than 50 employees, is looking to lay off workers. This is a mandate that those qualifying businesses HAVE to do. They have to put it on this site. This means that workers actually have two months to be ready for the axe to swing down. I'm guessing it is also a way for the company to not have any guilt cause this site exists but we know that's bull. They wouldn't care anyway.😒
Anyway I digress. If you Google warn act and your state list it will give you a full list by area in your state which is paranoia inducing yes, but if you check each month it could be really helpful for a lot of people to be ready for the life destroying changes before they happen.😖
It's been a rough start to this Staycation. I got hurt on Thursday so I've been resting my leg and trying not to move too much. Today I finally got out to get stuff done before the snow storm hit. 😖
I'm eating lunch now and catching up on all the anime that I missed resting and then I'll post everything that I missed the past few days. 🤗
I Don't Want to Go to Work Tomorrow
Watching random recipes on youtube as I try and decide if I want to go to work tomorrow. It is going to snow about 2 in. here and the schools are already closed but I still have work cause crazy people want bagels and soup in a damn snow storm apparently.🙄
I don't want to go but I already didn't go in yesterday cause I was so tired. Yeah full grown adults have those kind of days too. Plus my son's cat was making it hard to leave the bed so I blame him too.😅
Either way, it is no fun driving in the snow honestly and I know that we will hardly have any guests plus everyone else is going to call in so why should I be the only adult...over the age of 30 that shows up and get stuck there doing the work of 5 people or being made to clean something that no one has cleaned in months just cause I am there. Like 14 years at this place and i am still treated like the kids, no offense to anyone specific, that just started or have been there like a year. I've been there longer than all my managers for fuck sake!😒
Anyway so yeah, I really can't afford it especially since I don't know what is going on with my tax return or my daughter's survivor benefits thanks to Muskhole getting a hold of our personal info illegally, but I am just tired of being the grown up when my body feels more like a damn senior. I identify with Sophie so much. No wonder it's my fav Ghibli movie.😩
Rant over i guess and i'll go back to watching vids that make me smile and I guess i'll let you know if I decide to go in or not tomorrow.😞
