Devilkin - Blog Posts

Yall look at this art @that-dreaming-dragon made of me!!! Look at those winnnggggggsssssss!!! Look at my leggiesssssss (my hooves, boi, my hooooves) & my tail and ahskhssknskdk :D ty so much I love it 🖤

My part of the doodle art trade with @mossthedemon !

Demon Of Pain - Day... ?

I had an odd experience yesterday.

I helped my sister move into her new apartment. 2-3 hours hours in and my body started flaring up (well, I had already needed to submerge my hands in very hot water to get them to hurt less and be less stiff twice. But this time it was my back and the rest of my body.)

So I biked home, parked my (public) bike. I had to walk 2-3 blocks. The entire way there I was hit urges to claw at the pain in my back by my shoulder blades, and couldnt stop doing it. Or to press my hands on the muscles, hard. When trying not to claw at it, I'd stim very obviously with my hand(s). This might sound rude, but I felt like ppl looked at me and saw an addict on a bad trip.

I was breathing weird, through clenched teeth in a permanent open-mouthed grimace. Sounded a bit almost darth vader-y. I'd bare my teeth, but there was nothing to bare my teeth at. I'd snarl at nothing. Start to hiss and then try to stop cause I was still in public. Kept having the words "fuck off" repeat over and over in my head. I dont even know how to describe what I was feeling emotionally. It felt. Barely lucid? But at the same time very aware. Like my brain was getting blinded by the light of my pain.

As I kept walking I kept doing these more. Not cause I wanted to. I just couldn't stop.

I got home and prepared a hot shower—by the time I was in the bathroom I had started repeatedly hissing "fuck off" repeatedly out loud.

Eventually it all stopped in the shower.

I know it was all just cause I was overwhelmed with the pain, but it honestly felt like I was having a fucking fit. It was horrible.

Ended up doodling it a bit in my journal and remembered a really old piece of art similar to what I drew.

Huh. You know what. I thought I was a sloth demon before. But... I'm highly doubting it now. The only reason I dont do that much ever (and therefore identifying with the sin of sloth a lot. Also cause of that one memory i have, but solitude means peace—theres nothing to incite my wrath. So no wonder i felt so peaceful in my home in the void) is cause of my disability. Before my disability kicked in so hard, I had a lot of energy.

I think my demonself actually embodies Wrath. I either simmer or burn hot when i shift and i feel that emotionally too. also makes sense for why my element is fire, despite feeling burnt out and no energy most of the time.

I'm still figuring stuff out I guess

Fingers ache too badly to draw today :(((

Demon Of Pain - Night 3

My legs ache so badly i can't sleep. My back isn't much better. Took melatonin earlier and i think i fell asleep for a little bit but now im awake again and no matter how tired I am I just. Cant sleep thru the pain. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts! FUCK fibromyalgia and withdrawal

my eyes burn hot like the fires of hell

Hello fellow kins!!!

I'm curious as to what ur forms look like, and if you'd let me, I wanna try drawing some of yall!!

My asks are open if u wanna describe ur form!

(If u have no form that's valid too!!!)

Ya know, sometimes there IS a demon in your closet. (It's me. I'm the demon in your closet.)

Demon Of Pain - Day 1

Going thru withdrawal again. Day 1 without seroquel (a sedative). Wish my sanity luck cause my insomnia came back with a vengeance.

Drew this when I got off of effexor almost a year ago.

My fibromyalgia is a bitch to deal with when it comes to withdrawal. Last time I was often bed bound for a month and then after gradually got my strength back while dealing with less withdrawal symptoms, and at the time I felt like I had lost my sanity. That my mind had fractured from the pain.

It's taken months and therapy to get where I am now. I'm stronger for it. I know I can make it through this, and I know what to do when I get overwhelmed now.

Still. Not looking forward to the upcoming breakdowns.

I'll most likely be posting a lot to the void on this account during this time btw, cause thats what I did last time (on a different site that my family follows so fuck that this time around). It helps for some reason.

Welcome to the Demon of Pain series where you'll be following this demon in its natural habitat... pain 😌

This. Yes. Thisssssssss. I feel the same (23 physically atm tho). Chronically ill dealing with fibromyalgia, I couldn't do any of those either. Ur not alone.

I'm trying to post to be part of this community, but tbh I have trouble finding stuff for demonkin. For findings new posts that aren't about animalkin (no hate, I have a headmate who's a big cat). There's not many new posts for demonkin, so most of it is the same whenever I check. Which is why im posting. Maybe another demon or divinekin will feel less alone if I do. And its a good place to get out feelings I can't talk about to anyone irl.

Part of me being a demon means that "darker" side is very prominent tbh. Has been since I was young. When I'm the one present in this body, I usually only like the trusted ones around me. Most of the time when I go outside my instinctive hate for humans flares up—even though I dont hate humans anymore. But I do feel anger at the humans around me in public. For daring to look at me. I just hate being perceived without being powerful or looking like myself. Like they can look upon me without fear or respect or deference. That's just one example. There's more.

I love the dark, and I love being alone. But at the same time, I crave companionship that understands me. I wish I knew another demon in person. Fuck it, I wish I knew another nonhuman in person.

For now I'll content myself with the shadows.

Anyone else feel like an outcast in the alterhuman community?

Most of the therians/alterhumans/nonhumans I see online are minors; I’m 20 years old.

Most of them can do quadrobics; I can’t run on all fours for five minutes without everything hurting, and if I did a jump, I’d probably break my wrists

A lot of them seem to enjoy the company of humans; I’ve never trusted or liked humans

Most of the community talks about being “silly” or “cute” when experiencing a mental shift; I have violent, animal instincts and avoid others when I feel a mental shift coming on

I don’t know. I just feel like a lot of us have become… tame. And I’m not. I feel like we as a community don’t talk about the “darker” side of not being human. The violent prey drive. The instinctive fear of humans that wild animals have.

To clarify, I mean no hate towards those who genuinely enjoy not being human. I just feel like even in a community of outcasts, I’m an outcast.

It’s just frustrating. In a place meant for those who aren’t human, I’m still too different to fit in. I just want to have a place to belong, you know?

the telling way everyone who knows me automatically assumes I'm gonna play a tiefling in dnd 😌

I remembered a brief memory of my home in hell(?) yesterday. It was so sunny out, and I was biking to go vote. I craved the void and my dark cave so strongly even tho I knew I should be enjoying such a lovely day.

And I saw a flash of my home. Dark stone walls that opened up to a huge window (no glass, just air) to the void outside. Pure black... peaceful. A long luxurious couch and a drink in my hand as I lean back. I could see clearly even though I dont remember any light sources in the memory. (Also ahhhh it felt so right to have my wings and my tail and night vision i miss it)

I was a sloth demon (the sloth ring). We were also called void demons.

Tho no idea what I used to do to have such luxury. And i dont remember anything else. It was just a brief remembrance of a moment. Any other divinekin remember a little bit of their homes? (Or other alterbeings! Feel free to pitch in!!)

Oh, to have the chance to lick the blood of someone you love from a wound they opened up for you

Was walking outside today, saw my shadow & did a little double take when I saw it didn't have two little horns at the top ;^;