D&d Memes - Blog Posts
Magic Item Idea
Paper Knife
Description: A piece of paper with a drawing of a knife. The piece of paper can’t be burned or destroyed as long as it has charges. Per each charges used, the knife drawn gets more and more covered in blood. Recharges every day.
Functionality: 23/day you can touch the piece of paper and point at an enemy that immediately suffer 1d4 piercing damage, or 1d6 if outside of combat (this action starts combat)
Inspiration: @trilliath’s mom
I was explaining to my mom about how tumblr is excited for the ides of march tomorrow, and celebrating the assassination of a corrupt politician etc. etc. and she goes, "Oh! So what do we wear!"
And I said, "IDK a knife?"
And she said, "Ohh, I don't think I can get away with that at the conference. But I know, I'll draw a picture of a knife and carry it around in my pocket and get a giggle out of it whenever I look in my pocket!"
Anyway my mom's brilliant and I think we should all carry paper knives tomorrow.
Item Idea
Legendary Sponge
Description: a yellow square sponge, it looks like any other normal sponge except that it won’t suffer from any environmental effects, not even the loss of water or the rising of temperatures.
Functionality: Grants the holder with resistance to cold, lightning, thunder and fire damage. Does not stack with other spells or items.
Inspiration: Now there is @markrosewater
I would have GREATLY preferred the Spongebob creatures be original designs. As funny as Squidward being a "Horror" is it is absolutely disappointing to see Spongebob be a Human and not a Sponge
There are no legendary Sponges.
Cursed Item Idea
Hat of Gold (Cursed)
Desc- yes Sans, the name is a pun on “Heart of Gold” I’m a comedy genius what did you expect? 💅🏻 (I’m cringe)
Description: A hat that every time it is worn for the first time in a day by someone materialise 15 gp in their hands or in their vicinity. From that moment they will be cursed to talk in a strange way by pronouncing the words much longer than needed, marking the accents way more than correct and by also rising their pitch just a bit enough to sound different but not enough to sound like a mouse.
Functionality: Along with the 15 gp, it gives -3 Charisma to anyone who wears the hat, until the curse is lifted after 24 hours from when it was worn for the first time in the day.
Inspiration: the post above ⬆️ @graegrape
i am once again reminded of the fact that toby fox is a genius at comedic pacing
Item Idea
Shoulder Saddle
Description: a leather seat that is attached to the one of the pauldrons of a medium size or + character’s Armor. It can be used by small characters to short rest while the rest of the party moves, to comfortably sit while travelling, to pat your big companion or be patted by your big companion. The benefits for the characters will apply only if their size is the same as the model of the Saddle they bought intended:
5 sp) Medium X Small
2 sp) Medium X Tiny
10 sp) Large X Small
8 sp) Large X Tiny
Bonus! 23 sp) Large X Medium
Bonus! 2 sp) Small X Tiny
Functionality: (Along with the obvious ones like immunity to fall damage for the smaller character or the inability to move during their turns, etc etc)
The Shoulder Saddle gives +1 to the AC of the bigger character, +1 to the smaller character’s perception checks involving sight, +2 charisma to both. Disadvantage with short range attacks and advantage with long ranged attacks to the smaller character, inverted for the bigger character.
Their turns will fuse into one during fights (using the bigger characters DEX for initiative +1), if in a round the big character stays still while the small one attacks with a ranged attack/weapon and it hits, roll 1d6, add that to the total damage AFTER any deduction of any kind that will affect the damage.
To be clear, this additional damage can’t be halved, stopped or in any way modified except if the total damage is cancelled, then it will act accordingly, if the total damage is halved by resistance or modified in another manner, the result of the 1d6 won’t be affected and will be added AFTER these calculations.
Inspiration: The image and post above from @billfrancois ❤️ (check out their art, it’s very good)
Best part of playing a smaller race in DnD is that your party members can give you uppies :3c
Pet Idea
Gleep Glorp
Description: A small, tiny, mini octopus. It goes gleep glorp. It makes you slightly more squishy and bouncy and glorpy.
Functionality:
+5 ft to your max jump
Advantage on grappling enemies
Roll a d4 if you get hit by a bludgeoning weapon (3d6 damage = 3d4, 1d20 damage = 1d4) the result is the damage that the attacker receives as the weapon bounces back from your glorpious body.
You must feed Gleep Glorp.
A hungry Gleep Glorp can leave to find a better owner or threatening you by revoking your gleepy privileges.
Inspiration: Gleep Glorp @the-lumpfish-king
Puzzle Idea
Door of Dooring
Description: A heavy metal (❌🤘) door, without any inscription or mysterious entity guarding it, in a completely empty room. Oh and also without a handle or a key hole. The players can’t sense any sort of magic coming from it.
Functionality: It’s a one way door. The players must find a way to open it from the inside, like using daggers in the space between the door and the wall to pull it or with magic.
Inspiration: …I closed myself in a walk-in-freezer accidentally. For 30 minutes, which is probably less than how much time your players are gonna spend trying to understand what’s the deal with this door.
Party Idea
Rat
Class: Thief
Race: ?
Description: She’s either a Ratfolk or an Halfling, nobody can tell. Asking it to her will only raise the chances of both getting ignored and robbed. She wears magic sandals that always make noise to challenge herself when stealing, if she takes them off, she becomes so powerful and sneaky that even her shadow stop noticing her.
Converse
Class: Barbarian
Race: Dwarf
Description: She doesn’t speak Common but can understand it. It’s not like she’s too dumb to learn it, she simply never learned and now she doesn’t think it’s that important for her to know how to speak. Everyone in the party seem to always understand what she wants and she’s happy like that because even without speaking her “family” always listen to her.
Wolf
Class: Warlock
Race: Human Werewolf
Description: His tattoo is the symbol of his patron and the origin of his curse, the bandana is a gift from the patron to him, but wearing it too much makes Wolf suffer, forcing him to still having to unleash his wolf form at full power once in a while.
Eyes
Class: Monk
Race: Elf
Description: Being totally blind, they refined all their other senses and are now even able to see the auras of the creatures surrounding them, thanks to their perfect control of Chi. Even if they’re not as powerful as other monks, they are still a valuable party member.
The Captain
Class: Arteficer
Race: Orc
Description: Has a warm and fatherly personality, always laughing with his strangely deep voice. He’s the proud owner and creator of the magnificent Nautilus, a weird-looking but fast vehicle that the party loves using.
Goggles
Class: Wizard
Race: Human
Description: He was the lone wolf of the party, but after Wolf joined he lost the title, now that Wolf is the leader he doesn’t look like the same. Goggles is the one carrying around the Nautilus, stored inside his magic pockets, even if his strength is never enough to take it out by himself and The Captain always steps in to (in his own words) “Not hurt his baby”, talking about the Nautilus.
Pet Idea
Cat of Many Cats
Description: A cat that the party can see randomly during their journeys, if they get too close, the cat disappears behind a corner or another obstacle. The second time the party meets the cat, they feel a sense of familiarity looking at the cat, and that will happen only with the Cat of Many Cats. It doesn’t speak if talked to with a spell, it has immunities to be charmed, paralysed, frightened etc etc.
Functionality: Each time the Cat appears in front of the players roll 1d4 and add the result to a value called Cat Value (X). Every night that the players spend in a relatively safe and warm place (inn/tavern/tents/ etc etc) roll 1d20, on a 5 or lower, the Cat will appear outside (the party can’t know that but a cat could be on the outside side of the window or meowing from outside, alarming them). When the party/a player goes out to look for the Cat, they will see a number of times equals to the times that the Cat appeared at the players, after 1 minute of seeing them or after that every player see the cats, whoever saw them falls asleep/in trance for 5 minutes.
Upon awakening the players will receive X Temporary Hit Points. After losing all the X THP, the players feel the same familiar warm of when they saw the cat and gets a Bonus Feature called Cat’s Eye (only those who saw all the Cats and get the THP in the first place).
Cat’s Eye:
+2 to Animal Handling, +2d6 Temporary Hit Points after identifying an Illusion as an illusion, +1d6 to all the spell you cast involving Illusions (Minor Illusion, Invisibility, Mirror Image, Disguise Self, etc etc)
Inspiration: the tweets above, reblogged and inspired by @ur-daily-inspiration which makes perfect sense.
Pet Idea
Duck Of Inspiration
Description: An apparently normal duck, occasionally it glows of a very faint yellow light.
Functionality: Give to all the players in a 10ft, that are in good terms with the duck, the possibility to use +1 to +5 inspiration per long rest. A player can use +5 all in one roll, or two players can use +2 and then +3.
BUT
If someone uses the inspiration of the duck they will not be able to use it until the next long rest. If someone uses the inspiration point that the DM gave them and that sums up to more than a +1 inspiration used, they will be unable to use the Duck until the next long rest.
To be in good terms with the duck you need to feed it, play with it, take care of her, NEVER call her “Quack”, “Goose”, “Silly Goose”, “Duck”, “Chicken” or “Bird” and NEVER say to her to shut up or act angrily towards her if she quacks.
If you do one of those things, you roll a d20
15-20: the Duck will look at you angrily, quack loudly while glowing and you will be feeling uneasy for a minute
10-14: the Duck will quack, looking at you seriously while glowing of a faint orange, you’ll be unable to speak for a minute. If you have any inspiration points, you lose 1 of them
5-9: the Duck will quack quietly, looking at you with disdain while glowing orange, you’ll be blinded and mute for a minute. If you have any, you’ll lose 2 inspiration points.
2-4: the Duck looks at you in silence and glows red, you’ll be paralysed for a minute, uneasy for 5 minutes and take 3d4 of psychic damage. You’ll lose all your inspiration points given to you but the DM
1: the Duck eyes turn white, its feathers vibrate while turning of a pitch black, it opens its wings and beak, looking directly into your eyes. The duck glows purple, everything around you seems to tremble like in an earthquake and then you start vomiting blood losing 20 pure damage, you look at the Duck and for a second it seems to have horns and sharpened teeth inside it’s beak, what seems like blood comes down like tears from its eyes. Then everything turns black, and the next thing you realise after opening your eyes, is that you’ve been transformed into a duck (a chicken, if you’ve called her “Chicken”). No other players have seen past the black aura that surrounded the Duck and you while everything happened. Everyone need to roll an Intelligence roll (>5 to succeed) to understand that the Duck polymorphed you into a Duck/Chicken. You lose all your inspiration points and stay polymorphed for 2 hours or until the next rest. You can understand other Ducks while in this form, except The Duck.
Rolling lower than a 12 will make you unable to use the Duck again (don’t say it to your player until it tries to, to make it funnier) because you’ll be in bad terms with the Duck.
Say sorry to the Duck and take care of her and it will accept your apologies and after your next rest you’ll be able to use the Duck again.
Speak with animals will not work (and any other spell that need its target to be an animal) but will give you the faint sensation that you should make this Duck friend and follow you, for your own good.
P.S. Yes, The Duck is an eldritch abomination. If you want it can become a patron, but don’t make it that it’s a Dark creature polymorphed or trapped in the body of a Duck… make it that the Duck is its normal form.
Inspiration: The Duck above… wait I’ve gained inspiration from the duck of inspiration to make the duck of inspiration… it’s Duckception
Saw a post like this with negative outlook so I asked for it to be fixed
Magic Item Idea
Description: A magic scroll that can store a spell of the owner’s choice (or can be changed once per king rest) that buffs the spell stored but debuffs all the similar ones that the owner casts (not counting those casted using items).
Functionality: Once per long rest the player chooses a spell to store in the scroll or decide if they’ll change the already stored spell or keep it. The spell stored gains a +(3+X) dices that the player can split into:
Damage roll
To hit roll
Other rolls
The X stands for the types of damage that the spell deals/protect/affects in any way. The addition of the 3+X dices can be done only after having rolled that, example:
Matt rolls to hit (4) so spends one of the (3+1) dices but fail again. Nothing happens anymore.
Liz rolls to hit (22) but still fails so she spends two of her (3+2) dices going up to 36, that hits. She then rolls for damage, doing a total of 25 fire damage and 15 necrotic damage. But since she has still 3 dices and REALLY wants the monster dead, she uses her 3 dices again, more on the fire damage because those are d8 while the necrotic uses d12, rolling 8 and 5 on the additional fire damage and 11 on the necrotic damage killing the beast.
In the next turn (or encounter) the player who has the scroll still has the maximum (3+X) dices, until the spell slots run out, the scroll will work.
BUT
If the stored spell deals fire damage, all the other fire damage-dealing spells (not magic items) will receive disadvantage in the damage rolls
This happens to all the types of damage that the stored spell deals.
That means that Matt’s psychic spell, even if it didn’t landed, and Liz fire/necrotic spell are the only ones that deal a noticeable amount of those types of damage.
If the spell doesn’t deal any damage nor affects any type of damage in particular the spell will be rejected by the scroll.
If the spell heals, it can be used. Use +(1+Z) where Z is the number of targets (you count too, even if it’s only a self spell, so the minimum is +2). But gives disadvantage to all the other healing spells.
Inspiration: the meme above (this is an old draft, I didn’t know yet that links were easier and I’ve already wrote too much to change it) thanks @catchymemes ❤️
Campaign Idea
Knock Knock it’s COMMUNISM. BITCHES.
Description: You (players) sad (capitalism) so you (players) spread happiness (communism)
Tip: Make one character the DnD version of fucking Karl Marx, it doesn’t matter the class or the race but make them a philosopher/writer that’s working on writing a book about their ideals, and during the campaign they could cite some passages (the player has to read the book)
Functionality: If the player reading the book (so Karl Marx) bought the actual Das Kapital they have disadvantage on all rolls involving the book, if they have it by some “other” ways they add a d8 to the rolls.
If the player doesn’t have Das Kapital, but another player does and they give it to the player, they will have advantage on the rolls involving the book.
Tip2: You could make that, one time for long/short rest, if the DnD Marx’s player uses the book the player who gave it to them will receive either 1 inspiration point or 2d12 Temporary HitPoints, or other shiny looking stuff
Characters:
Karl Marx (Mage, y’know, using the book for two uses? Paladin, finally the communist one?)
an ex underpaid server of an inn that quit to join them (very nice if the race of the character is one of the hated ones, or even better if they’re a half tiefling half elf, doubling the racism, to add a little bit of flavour to their backstory and to the setting) (class? Either Monk or Rogue. I mean, someone who gets attacked everyday for their race? 99% of the time that shit results into being able to punch back)
An ex knight who saw how corrupted the monarchy is and it’s tired of it (additional points if it’s the big bear of the group, tall, muscled and hairy and always ready to take a hit for Karl Marx) they are the first two of the group and known each other for a long time (maybe Karl was the mage of the king?)
A Druid who was stuck in their dog-cat-animal form/someone who was cursed to be polymorphed into a dog for the last 15 years, now that the witch who cursed them has been killed they are free but unable to afford anything because for all this time they obviously didn’t had a job, and their family thinks that they died long ago so they would never believe them to be the same person (maybe also because mow they have some dog-cat-animal facial traits? Not too weird but enough to not recognise your own child) and so they have no money, and were forced to live on the streets begging for some food and money.
Tip3: Maybe now they are Shifters (the race), or Tabaxi or they still randomly transform into that animal (roll a d100 every turn of combat and after doing something that the DM or them thinks is important, on a 10 (up to 30) or lower they transform into the animal they were polymorphed for 3d8 minutes (the d100 still needs to be rolled while they’re an animal, and if they roll a “turning into the animal” number, they roll the 3d8 again and add that to the total). Also they should be able to know the language of the animal that they were since they spent 15 years as one.
An artificer who is a genius but since their inventions are not enough “profitable” or “gives too much to the poor” and “damage the economy” as some rich ass bastards always say before scrapping the idea of founding their creations. They are sick of this and just want to create things to make life better for everyone, who cares about economy and money? They sure don’t!
A warlock who once was a healer in a temple, Ka’rl revealed them (since they couldn’t leave the temple for religious purposes) that those who couldn’t afford to be healed were left to die and that they healed only those who paid an invent price before even simply entering the temple. Due to the shock, they not only lost any faith in their cause (their religion didn’t involve a God or at least not an existing one) but their anger caught the attention of a Celestial Being with whom they made a pact with to make this nonsense stop. (Maybe make that the Celestial Being proved to have the power to do so by healing everyone in the entire city, since the warlock from now on should be filled with trust issues)
An earth genasi/elf ranger, that witnessed the exploitation of natural resources by the ruling class, that hurt not only the lower class but also animals and other creatures. They now seeks to reclaim the land for the people and help Ka’rl establish a society where nature and its resources are shared equally.
A Robin Hood parody, but who steals stuff instead of money (like food and other goods) because they were the accountant of a Duke and now how to fuck up economy (double points if they become best friend with the artificer and use their inventions to steal more stuff)
Inspiration: this (sad) meme ⬇️
Thanks to @guerrillatech (and to @wizard-kisser that always reblog good materials that I feed my brain with and doesn’t even know)
Character Idea
Description: A hero who gets reincarnated over and over again to kill the BBEG (who also gets reincarnated over and over again) but neither of them is actually always the hero or BBEG, because the Hero is the only who retains their memory while the BBEG is the only who keeps their immense power and the Hero always has to kill the BBEG whatever they do.
One time the BBEG was actually a powerful Aasimar paladin of Tyr, who caught dragons and protected millions of people from them while the Hero was a Tortle and spent 10 years to infiltrate in the inner circle of the BBEG to kill them by giving them a food imbued in a drop of all the dragons that the BBEG killed that was filled with hatred towards them and so it was Highly deathly to them
Another time the BBEG was the father of the hero but since he was the King’s right hand and the wizard of court, the hero saw him for so little that every attempt he tried always resulted into a goofy scene of a toddler trying to “hug” is dad and falling head first against a chair
One time the Hero was a Giant and the BBEG a Halfling… wait that was very easy to accomplish actually
Why? Because the Hero and the “first” BBEG were secretly lovers, and when the BBEG died by the Hero’s hands (it was in the middle of the battle and they knew that this moment was gonna happen one day) the Hero lost all his will to live and made a pact to a God, not one of the good one but like a sillier Loki.
In exchange to entertainment for the God, the Hero and the BBEG reincarnated over and over again (the BBEG without their memories because they were already dead, but with the same high power because it was so strong that it was still there, filling the place where they died while the Hero always with random powers and abilities to entertain the God) and every time that the Hero killed the BBEG they could share one “year” (in the real world it’s an instant) together, obviously them being the first Hero and the first BBEG.
During the “year” together they live in an imaginary castle always slightly different than the last time, built by the God during the moments of their lives when kind of nothing happens (when they’re toddlers for example, like when you watch a show and it gets interrupted by the ads and you rush to the toilet) and the Hero would tell the BBEG stories of their last encounter and while in there they (both of them) can actually change their appearances to their previous bodies. The BBEG loves to do it to see how different they are from their “first” body, since they have no memory of their other lives.
Inspiration: this shorts of hamasamakun (check them out!) https://youtube.com/shorts/95T4-peUuow?si=TTG-cytOFLt0Stj4
Character Idea
Warlock
Story: Warlock with a pact with a Deity to kill the paladins who break the oath with them
Functionality: Gives disadvantage to hit when the opponent uses an attack dealing radiant damage, additional bonuses to hit are not counted if the opponent is a paladin of the Deity
Inspiration: I don't know but I told this Idea to my older cousin and he said "cool" so I'm feeling POWERFUL
Pet Idea
Lystrosaurus
Description: A fucking Lystrosaurus
Inspiration: Get recked meme above
Magic Item Idea
12ft Magic ladder
Description: A magic 12ft ladder that you can make appear from thin air when facing a 10ft or higher wall.
Functionality: You can roll a number of d4 equal to your level to make the ladder higher.
Inspiration: this meme ⬇️
Spell Idea
Cozy
Description: For 6 turns, you make your target feel like they are in their bed with a hot blanket around them, making them feel so cozy that they don’t want to move or do anything that could make that feeling disappear.
Functionality: If your enemy fails a Constitution saving throw they lose half of their movement speed and have disadvantage to all their attacks or actions that require moving (ex: spells with a Somatic component) and will have to roll 1d20 to see if they feel like doing it (ex: before drinking a health potion). If somebody uses a sleep spell against that same target they’ll have disadvantage on the saving throw required to escape from it.
Inspiration: It’s me, I’m cozy.
Spell Idea
Cats
Functionality: After having rolled to hit, open #cats on Tumblr or r/cats on Reddit, depending on the color and the number of the cats that appear in the 1d6-th post filtered by newest the effect of the spell changes.
Colour: (multiple effects can take place if the cat has multiple colours)
Orange: deal Xd10 of fire damage (doubles the damage if it falls/stairs are involved in the post)
Black: deal Xd10 of necrotic damage (d12 if completely black)
White: deal Xd10 of radiant damage (d12 if you’re a paladin, +2 if it has blue eyes)
Brown: deal Xd8 of poison damage (+2 total damage if it’s a video)
Gray: deal Xd10 force damage (advantage if it is a baby)
Others (even artificially coloured fur): Xd20 of cold damage (+3 total damage if the cat looks angry/annoyed by it)
The X value is the result of the 1d6 used to decide which post to pick
Number:
X gains a +1
X gains a +2
The total damage gains a +3
The total damage gains a +3 and X gains a +1 if one or more bonus effects of the colours took place
or more: The total damage gains a +5 and X gains a +1 for each and every type of bonuses that took place
Additional bonuses:
+1 damage if the post has multiple photos
+3 damage if the post mentions the name of the cat
X+1 if the cat has any type of deformity
+1 Inspiration point if this is the first time using the spell and while showing the post anyone says “Awwww” (if it’s the DM, everyone gains one)
+2d4 health to all the Tabaxi in the party
+2d4 health if there’s a pet cat in the party
+2d4 temporary hit points to anyone who owns a cat (even the DM, but only to one creature and only if they feel like it)
+1d8 of the type of damage indicated by the colour (if multiple you decide which) for each of the players who is willing to take a video of themselves saying meow (this has to be on the same video)
Inspiration: I spent the last ???? hours, looking at cats and I do not regret it.

Here is a photo of my cat
Magic Item
Sandwich of Chaotic Layers
Description: A sandwich made of suspicious ingredients and a curious amount of cheese, when eaten it gives random effects to character. If it is kept in the inventory long enough it might attract mice and other rodents, if it is kept for even longer at every rest of the character with the Sandwich of Chaotic Layers in their inventory loses 2d12 of HP while those near a radius of 10 ft lose 2d6 of HP after the rest, due to the radiations that the Sandwich of Chaotic Layers emits.
Functionality: Use a bonus action to eat the sandwich, a normal action if you’re size is smaller than Medium, then roll d for the effects.
Results:
You get teleported inside a radius of 5-20 ft not occupied by another creature, you can decide exactly where
The scent of warm bread surrounds the player and up to 5 allies, they heal 2d10 HP and gain 20 Temporary hit points
You get two charges of a garlic scented breath attack that causes confusion and disadvantage to all roles against you and saving throws to all your enemies in a 15 ft cone, but also repel your allies to at least 5 ft from you
A bread wall circles around your enemy and it blocks their vision and movement. To escape your enemy has to deal at least 10 x S of damage, where S is the size of the enemy (1 is Tiny, Medium is 3, Gargantuan 6…), to make a hole big enough to escape
From the mouth of the player comes out a steam of water that deals 4d6 of water damage to those in a line of 20ft in front of the player, with a roll of Athletics higher than 12 the player can move while spitting water to aim to other enemies, this however will deal 2d6 to all enemies hurt instead of 4d6.
A cheese armour surrounds the player, giving them +2 AC but also giving them a -10ft of movement speed
The player’s movement speed doubles but it may randomly oink even after the effect wears off, until they take a rest
Wheel of cheese. For 17 turns. Aka 289 seconds. Aka 4 minutes and 49 seconds. Aka Wheel of cheese for five minutes.
3d4 mice gets teleported in a 5 ft radius from you, you can control them and give them order for 6 turns, after that they’ll become normal mice
A cloud of lint surrounds an enemy, they’ll suffer 2d6 more fire damage if attacked with a fire spell or fire related attacks, the same goes with 1d12 of lightning damage. Until the enemy is surrounded by the lint cloud it gets disadvantage on rolls to hit. The cloud disappear once a fire or lightning attack successfully damage the enemy
A rideable Large cushion of magical focaccia appears in front of the players. The cushion can fly and has 350 HP but no attacks. After receiving 300 HP, reaching a total of 100 ft of movement or after 7 turns the flying focaccia gently lands and then disappear.
3d8 of radiant damage to all creatures in a radius of 35ft from the player (including) the party gets a -10 to the total damage if they have spent at least 2 rests with the Sandwich of Chaos Layers in the inventory of someone.
Inspiration: this silly reblog list ⬇️
Thanks to @garaks-padded-bra @acrowbyanyothername @buglyteeth @imhaley @ronzyponyo @funnywormz @deepestturtlepielover @willowandthesagaofgayyearning @summer-azure @spacetronomyfan @spocktopodes ❤️
Magic Item
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Coffin of Sleep
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Description: a nice coffin with cushions and elegant decorations on the wood, it changes size to accommodate who wants to enter it.
Functionality: if somebody decides to sleep inside the coffin, it will look like they’re dead. Pale skin, no heartbeat, cold body, no response when somebody brings up the dead’s Browser History, no activity, it will also show fake wounds to match the scene. All those who witnessed the character enter the coffin will have +6 to all the rolls that involve in some way the coffin, from creating a fake story of how the character is dead to lifting the coffin hand running with it, no restrictions on charisma rolls either.
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Insurance fraud in D&D babyy
Mount Idea
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Mining War Elephants
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Description: Elephants with tusks that are made of various metals, from iron to mithril and even adamantium, that they can make them spin at high speed to use them as underground drills to mine or to attack their enemies. The material of their tusks resembles their strength and power, every 3 months they fall and new ones reform in two days, in this time the material can change into something weaker or stronger if the strength of the Mining War Elephant has changed, it only depends on how strong the mount has become.
The tusks can also be manually replaced with ones that are made of stronger materials. Creating from 0 new Tusks will take 1d6 days (max 4 if the forger is a Dwarf, max 3 if they’re a blacksmith or an artisan, max 2 if both) to create two tusks, then you need to wait for the Elephant’s tusk to fall naturally, to put the forged tusks into their place, roll both an Animal Handling and a Medicine check, if the result is higher than 14 you succeed, on a lower roll the Elephant will refuse new tusks for 24h because your player hurtled them on accident. (You have two attempts, after that normal tusks will grow and you’ll need to wait 3 months). Only Dwarves can persuade the Mining War Elephants into retrying on the same day after a fail.
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Inspiration: the meme of @dwarf-posting about the epic fact shared by @zinjanthropusboisei (thanks to both!)
View on Twitter
These pictures are killing me
Magic Item Idea
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Short notice Letter
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Description: A letter with a very generic phrase asking for forgiveness advising the recipient that who is writing the letter can’t come to work due to the lack of rest. Paladins and Warlock can use this to restore spell slots. The amount of uses is the same as the number of stamps on the back of the letter, after each use one stamp disappear.
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Functionality: A paladin or a warlock licks their thumb (or any other limb if the thumb is unavailable) and put it on one of the stamps, roll a d20
Results:
1 - The stamp disappear and nothing happens
2/5 - Spell slots under lever 2 gets completely restored
6/9 - Spell slots under level 5 gets completely restored
10/14 - All the spell slots gets completely restored
15/19 - All the spell slots gets completely restored, one spell slot under level 3 gets a temporary +1
20 - All the spell slots gets completely restored, all the spell slots under level 3 gets a temporary +2
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Inspiration: the meme above (Thanks @kimabutch)
I’m sorry, I can’t come into work today. I didn’t get a long rest and god gave me a point of exhaustion. All my skill checks are at disadvantage.
Magic Item
Kobold Bank
Description: A small Kobold made of porcelain, you can put coins in there and it will possibly add a few more when you collect them.
Functionality: Xd4 - (X/2) Where X is the total of coins you put inside the Kobold Bank. To function, X needs to be an even number, if you shake the Kobold Bank and X is an odd number you roll 1d4
1= nothing comes out
2= Only half of X comes out
3= 2/3 of X come out (round down)
4= X coins come out
Inspiration: The meme above (thanks @piratequeen1017)
Campaign Idea:
God’s Plan
Plot: The party finds a quest to kill a God, that in the quest is described as useless and incapable, and as reward they could obtain the God’s powers and title (the quest is enchanted in a way that only those that have a non-Evil alignment can read it)
They found the God, VERY quickly and slowly realise that the deity is the one who wrote the quest, after falling in a deep depression due to the lack of followers. The party’s new objective will be to be the therapists of the God while spreading their name and doing good deeds in their honour, becoming the God’s first paladins after a long time of loneliness.
Inspiration: The meme above (thanks @jodetesuciaperra)
Campaign Idea
Lord of the Ribs
Plot: An Elven King calls the players to ask for their help. Their mission is to destroy the One Spice, a powerful magic object that made all the spices feel bland except for those that the owner of the One Spice, Sauronion, sold. This new group will start a journey trough Mordough fighting with Sauronion’s minions like the Nugzuls (or Wingwraiths) and Soyruman The Bland. When the Fellowship of the Rib finally finds itself in front of the Onion Ring, a powerful spell that Sauronion uses to look down on the Middle Eat, they’ll have to fight the army of Sauronion and then take the One Spice to Mount Nom and destroy it, to make the world spicy again.
Inspiration: I think it’s pretty obvious, but in case it wasn’t, I came up with this completely alone and without being inspired by any product of other people. Those who don’t believe me are French (fries)
Silly Character
Race: Mimic
Class: Druid (Circle of The Moon)
Description: A mimic who can turn into animals too. Has learnt Common by living for a bit with human farmers as a cat (to eat the mouses)
Name: Sparklefluffy Whiskertoes
Inspiration: I just wanted a funny first-character for my trans best friend who is in love with shapeshifting
I saw that B99 meme and just kind of had to make me and my sisters oc's version
Not my best work, but most things aren't