Me on a Girl Scout trip while eating cookies and watching a Broadway show: Is that cocaine?
(The girl next to me had pulled out a little bag of white rubber bands for their braces)
Doctor: Here's a medication I want you to try, but it is a bit big. You might need to break it into smaller pieces so you don't choke.
Me:
Everyone is preparing me for the day I get better.
No one is preparing me for when it's not.