Slug & Snail Nails By Annaxnailz

Hey since theres some stuff about transandrophobia theory going on anyway:

Does anyone have any specifically transandrophobia book recs?

I already got my hands on Leslie Feinbergs "stone butch blues" but since i have never been a lesbian and am into men its not exactly want im looking for yk; bell hooks "men, masculinity and love" seems to not include discussions about trans men at all and s. bear bergman "butch is a noun" as far as i could tell would still be based on trans men/mascs with connections to lesbianism (which i still dont have)

I lucky own a copy of thomas page mcbees "man alive" and cooper lee bombardiers "handle with care" but i cant find anything else besides eyeing lou sullivans dairys (again non of these books are theory, theyre all memoiren)

My local queer-feminist book store only had biographies (no novels, theory or other genres) featuring trans men when i first asked and they only brached out bc i specifically asked (which is imo embarrasing for them but whatever) and even they dont seem to find theory about transandrophobia easily

Any help/ideas on where to look?

Lol. You can first block transmisogyny-ratio-reader and then use the blog to actually follow people who are not raging bigots against anyone who's not a trans radfem

update 3 hours later: The blog is now transmisogyny-ratio-reader2! Which she's using to block and ban evade to keep spewing her bigotry.

You don't like New Yawk? 🗽? Bada Bing?

A vent, inspired by conversations from earlier about sexual entitlement

As a nonbinary person who likes to present in a way that gets interpreted as "goth woman" the fucking entitlement that people have over me/my sexuality is wild.

Like on one hand you've got the people who want me to be their goth dommy mommy and too and/or dom them when like. I can switch and dom people on occasion, but there's very few people I consider it worth it to do. In sex (not kink) I am exclusively a bottom and thankfully that hasn't been an issue but that's usually because when people realize I'm not going to dom them they stop pursuing things.

But on the other hand there's the people who do respect me as a sub and a bottom, but because I'm goth and kinky they take it as a blanket permission to just like, live out whatever sexual fantasy they have. Just straight up sexual assault on a somewhat regular basis because people can't be bothered to ask before they start to choke me because I'm goth and kinky and they've seen it in porn so it must be fine (it's not, you can kill someone even if you choke them properly, and a solid chunk of these people don't actually know how to do it properly).

So yeah as someone read as a "goth woman" it feels like it's literally impossible to get away from people having sexual expectations of me and being annoyed when I'm not a conscious sex toy that'll do whatever it is they want me to. Like it's one thing when it's just jokes, I don't mind playing along when someone asks me to step on them or whatever, but when people are seriously expecting me to be sexual in specific ways that I'm just not it can get really really awful.

And it was really frustrating a few months ago when comp top/"let trans women be bottoms/subs" discourse was going around TRF circles and they were like "trans women have been through a lot and they deserve to be taken care of instead of needing to take care of others" (which I agree with) "so therefore if you're not a trans woman you should dom/top and take care of trans women" when like.

I am someone who has been through significantly worse trauma than most people I know, and have always been placed in the role of taking care of others. Part of why I only dom certain people is because of my trauma of being forced to raise my younger brothers and play parent to my own mother. I am very much in the category of people who've been through it who have always been expected to do things for others and who deserves to be taken care of. And there was just no acknowledgement from that group that people other than trans women might be in the position of having had to take care of others and being deserving of support and care now.

It feels like the same entitlement as the people irl who want me to be their goth dommy mommy. Society has decided that people like me are people it's fair to feel entitlement towards, and like. That entitlement is in a large part why I can't be what people want. I'm a human being, and while I know how to take care and be there for others, I'm not going to do it without being taken care of myself because I've spent too many years of my life giving to others and getting nothing in return.

Everyone deserves to be happy, to have the sexual experiences that they're looking to have, to be taken care of if that's what they wish, but while we all deserve these things it is unfair to expect them to come from any specific individual, and if someone is telling you no to these things you find someone else to ask, not try to get your needs met by someone who has made it clear they don't want to.

Very well said anon. <3

It may seem strange how many "progressives" are angered by the pretty obvious and milquetoast assertion that "Bigotry is a problem of broader society that manifests on many websites in many ways". But if you concede that 4chan isn't this unique font of absolute evil, a certain sort of tumblr user would lose one of their favourite pejoratives for trans women. Like the whole "4chan basement loser" thing already fits into their idea of trans women (at least the ones they don't wanna fuck) as "pathetic fail men". And by acting like mere association with 4chan (real or imagined) politically taints you in a way that say facebook or tumblr doesn't, you don't even have to feel guilty because those weird trannies are obviously bad people who love bigotry no further explanation needed. Sure there's no shortage of ways you can justify harassing trans women but a lot that requires more work; you need to spend like 5 seconds looking up what she actually said or did. Throwing out "they're a channer" (while yourself being a tumblr user) is just too convenient to give up

transmisogyny = intersection of transphobia and misogyny.

transphobia towards trans men assuming they're women = transphobia. the misogyny is due to transphobia. it is just transphobia. you want to be oppressed so bad

This makes absolutely no sense lmao. If transphobia towards trans men is also the intersection of transphobia and misogyny than transphobia towards trans men would be transmisogyny but it’s not, because transmisogyny refers to transphobia and misogyny aimed at trans women. Hence why transphobia + misogyny towards trans men is called Transandrophobia. The misogyny isn’t “due to transphobia”, the misogyny is entwined with the transphobia. They are tied together.

“You want to be oppressed so bad”…. Anon… do you think transmasc people are not oppressed? Do you think trans men are not oppressed? What??????

If you hate trans men, I hope every woman you look up to in your life transitions into the happiest, hairiest, fattest trans men ever.

too lazy to make this an actual well articulated post rn but here are some snippets of a conversation i had tonight