Latest Posts by writingoutofbed - Page 4

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Have Mercy

A/N: A tribute to the absolute best sitcom ever. Young John Stamos, I miss you.

Title: Have Mercy

Summary: You’re the eldest Tanner child, and things haven’t been quite right for you since your mother’s death. However, your Uncle Jesse always knows how to make things better.

Words: 4602

When Jesse had first moved into the Tanner household alongside Joey, the one thing he had to admit he’d been the most surprised at was exactly how much you had grown up. And it most certainly wasn’t change in looks, because you still had your mother’s beautiful, glossy locks, and your father’s beaming smile, and his taste in music… rather, you had changed immensely in attitude. As soon as he’d walked in the door, he’d been expecting three of his nieces to bombard him with hugs, not two. And he definitely hadn’t expected the one who hadn’t to walk up to him and linger behind your sisters for a moment before he grabbed your head and pulled you to his chest. That had been the beginning of his suspicions. Never once had you not raced up to him and jumped into his arms as soon as he walked through the door to the house. It was always you first, never mind the two younger ones. He had to remind himself to be prepared for you whenever he was about to open the door, for Christ’s sake, so why did you act as though it was so different now?

Seeing you hanging back, fidgeting absentmindedly with your sleeve and only waiting until D.J. and Stephanie had moved out of the way before you even considered taking a step towards him was completely unreasonable and, honestly, he was shocked. Sure, the last time he’d seen you was only a month back for Stephanie’s birthday, but it wasn’t like you’d never given him bear-hugs after a shorter time gap…

The thought that maybe it was down to something bigger than just you not wanting to hug him properly didn’t really cross his mind until you began to show other signs that perhaps things weren’t exactly… right with you. For starters, since when had he said you were allowed to call him by his actual name? “Uh, that’s Uncle Jesse to you, Bug,” he’d said, a frown on his face as you – accidentally, he hoped – missed out the ‘Uncle’. You hadn’t said much about it, though he thought he’d heard you mumbling somewhat of an apology as you moved to walk out of the kitchen.

It was only really when he saw how much you seemed to have taken on a more adult role to your sisters that he had an idea of what was going on. Truthfully, he wanted to slap himself for having not thought about it before. You’d just lost your mother, and though it was extremely hard for the whole family, how difficult could it possibly be for you, the eldest who’d spent every waking moment with her mother, learning from her and aspiring to be her? The girl who’d been alive longer and would remember her mother when Michelle and Stephanie wouldn’t? The young teen that loved to play mom and help her parents around the house? Jesse could see that part in you so plainly – every little thing you did now seemed to revolve around your father or your sisters. Though he’d only been living in the house for six days, not one minute had he seen you smile, or spend some time alone… everything you did seemed to be moulded around what Stephanie wanted for breakfast, or how much help D.J. needed with homework, or what clothes Michelle should wear that day. Truthfully, he couldn’t even find the point in him and Joey coming if this was how it was going to be.

However, he knew it wasn’t healthy. In essence, you seemed to have derived the belief that you were to step up and become the matriarch of the family from somewhere or other… he wasn’t sure where, but the idea definitely hadn’t sprung from nowhere. You were acting more like a housewife than a fifteen-year-old kid, and Danny had even begun to comment on it, asking you to please sit down for a minute and let Joey put Michelle to bed, or give the laundry over to Jesse so he could fold it… when he’d asked him about it, your father had explained that you hadn’t stopped from your mothering tendencies at all since Pam died, and it seemed to be getting worse. What’s more, he just couldn’t get you to talk about it. Every time he attempted to bring the subject up, you were gone from his sight in seconds. He’d tried to arrange a therapist to speak to you, but you’d refused the help. Nobody seemed to be able to knock hard enough on the protective wall you’d built around yourself to break it down. Really, Jesse was surprised he hadn’t noticed the change during the last times he’d been to visit, but he supposed, since he’d only stayed a few hours before bouncing off, he’d never really been around long enough to figure it out.  But, all in all, the Y/N Tanner he last remembered was not the one currently bustling about the house, that grim and determined look on your face, and he silently made the decision there and then that he was going to fix it.

“Hold it, Mom.” He quickly stepped into your way as you walked out of the kitchen, Michelle in your arms. “Can I have a word with you a moment?”

You frowned, bright eyes analysing Jesse’s face before you glanced over at your baby sister. “I have to change Michelle.” You moved to dodge him, but he immediately stuck his arm out, thwarting your escape.

“Joseph!” he called, all the while keeping his watchful eyes on you. Michelle babbled, pulling slightly on your hair, but you remained still, standing in front of Jesse’s arm. He had half a thought that you might decide to barge straight through him, but, thankfully, you stayed where you were until Joey came in from where he’d been working on fixing Stephanie’s bike in the back garden.

“You called?” he asked. Jesse nodded, motioning towards the baby.

“Can you take little nugget over here upstairs and change her? Me and Bug are gonna have a chat.” He gave him a meaningful look, and Joey’s eyes widened in realisation. He reached over for Michelle and snagged her out of your arms far too quickly; God only knew how long he had been waiting for someone to force you to speak to them about this, and he was all too happy to take the baby away for a while to give this someone their much needed space and time.

“Gladly,” he said, noticing how you weren’t entirely eager to relinquish your hold on your sister. “Have fun, kiddos.” Jesse waited as the tell-tale thump of Joey walking up the stairs moved into Michelle’s room and the door shut before he let his arm hang limply at his side. You didn’t move, choosing to stay exactly where you were, eyes fixed on the front door opposite you instead of meeting your uncle’s gaze. He sighed and turned around, stepping towards the couch in the living room.

“Let’s sit down,” he said. Thankfully, Danny had taken both D.J. and Stephanie out to a soccer game that afternoon, and there was about an hour left until they’d get back, so he had plenty of time to discuss this with you. He sat himself down on the couch and pat the spot next to him, watching as you dejectedly began to make your way over. It seemed as though you couldn’t deny him and walk past him as you did your father, maybe because his face told you clearly that this was the time that someone was going to discuss it with you. Nobody could really argue with Jesse, though everyone knew that often didn’t stop you.

Silently, you sat next to him, scooting back and lifting your legs up so you could tuck your knees into your chest. Jesse sighed, turning slightly. “I know what this is about,” he said, and you glanced at him.

“You do?” you asked, eyebrows furrowing, before you quickly recovered and turned your head away from him. “I mean… what? You know what… what is about?”

Jesse rose an eyebrow, a tell-tale smirk on his lips. He could see that your cheeks were slowly beginning to get dusted with a soft red hue, and he shook his head slightly in fondness. No matter what anyone said, no matter how grown-up you acted, you would forever be that sweet baby girl he remembered holding in the hospital. “Don’t act all oblivious, now,” he gently scolded, dipping his head a little. “You know what I’m talking about. All this… housewife stuff. It’s not normal, kid.” The man turned, lifting one leg up to tuck under him while he rested an elbow on the couch and leaned his head against it. “Look… I know that things have been… tough recently. We’ve gone through hell as a family, and it won’t get better for a while, but… Buggo, I haven’t seen you sit down once since I came here. Do you even sleep? When do you eat? Go to school? Do you go to the toi-”

“Okay, okay! Jeez, Uncle Jesse,” you frantically shook your head as his smile grew, not thinking about the fact that it was most likely because you’d reverted back to calling him your uncle in your slight aggravation. It told him clearly that you’d been doing it on purpose… you hadn’t somehow forgotten he was your uncle, thank God.

His smile faded a little as he shifted on the couch. “Seriously, though,” he said, voice calmer. “We need to talk about this. Your dad’s already tried, and you completely avoided it, so I know it’s not an easy subject to discuss, but… we’re gonna make some sorta break-through today, alright?” He rose both eyebrows, waiting for you to respond. There was the obvious fact that you may avoid his questions, too, and run off, but he had a feeling that this time would be different. That, this time, you would truly listen to what he had to say. He felt a current of pride surge through him as you turned a little in your seat and looked up at him with big, bright eyes, waiting for him to speak. “Kid,” he began, “we’ve all noticed how you’re acting kinda… not you. You run around the house, looking after all three of your little sisters and stepping in when one of us try to take over… you don’t actually sit down and speak with any of us anymore, or tell us about your day at school, or smile, or laugh, or, oh, I don’t know, actually look happy.” The man’s face was becoming more and more concerned as he went on, eyes brown pools of worry and lips a grim line. “Why’re you acting like this, huh?” he asked. “Why’re you pretending to be this crazy work-obsessed nanny instead of the kid that you are?”

Somewhere along the line, you’d cast your eyes down to the couch, not daring to meet his own anymore. Of course you had an answer to it, and of course you wanted to tell him so that he could help you, but if he helped you, then you wouldn’t have a reason to continue doing what you were doing. It was a question with both advantages and disadvantages to it, and yet, somehow, the former far outweighed the latter. “Because…” you said after a little while, though your voice was a mere whisper. “Because I promised Mama…”

Jesse’s frown deepened. He licked his lips, staring at you intently. “Promised her what?”

“That if- that if anything were to happen to her, I’d look after everyone.” You briefly shut your eyes, the feeling of tears welling in them almost becoming too much for you. Jesse, meanwhile, had changed his expression to one of more or less confusion. When, exactly, had you promised this to Pam? Her death had been so sudden, and she’d had nothing in her life before that indicated the possibility that she could die. His confusion seemed to be mirrored perfectly on his face, and you thankfully decided to look up at that moment and noticed it before explaining more.

“It was a little while before she died,” you supplied helpfully. “Dad was away on business, and I couldn’t sleep so I went to Mom and slept with her. We… we talked for a little while… about a lot of things. And, I don’t know how, but we ended up on the topic of what would happen to us if she or Dad ever, well, you know…” You took a small break, sniffing and blinking rapidly to keep the tears from falling. “She asked me if I could do her a favour and help Dad if anything happened to her… look after my siblings and help him around the house. I never believed it would actually happen and I’d have to do it, but it did, and so that’s what I’m doing. I promised her I would. I said to her ‘I promise, Mama, with all my heart’, and I can’t back away from that now. I c-can’t. I just can’t.” You squeezed your eyes shut, and found that you didn’t quite care when a tear slowly made its way out from under your lid and trailed down your cheek, more following soon after. You did not have the fight in you to resist against your uncle as he reached over and pulled you to him, situating you somewhat on his lap and somewhat on the couch while ensuring your head was comfortably resting against his chest. One hand reached up and cupped the side of your face, thumb rubbing tentatively across the wet skin, and the other wrapped itself securely around your trembling frame, holding you to him.

“Aw, Bug,” he found himself mumbling into your hair while you sobbed into him. “I should’ve known it was about your mom.”

You shook your head, opening your puffy eyes. “S’not your fault,” you told him quietly. “I did-didn’t want anyone to know.”

“Yeah, we gathered that,” Jesse said. He cocked his head to the side, resting his cheek on top of your head. “You know… I don’t think this is what she meant when she asked you to look after your family. She definitely would not want you to do what you’re doing. Definitely not. Sure, help change Michelle once in a while, and teach D.J. math when she needs it, and play with Steph when she has nobody else to, but every damn second? Sweetheart, Pam wouldn’t have wanted this. You don’t need to be an adult. Sure, at the beginning, that was great of you to step up and help your dad… but, babe, this is why me and Joey’ve moved in, isn’t it? To care for you girls. All four of you, not just your sisters.” He poked your back as a way of showing he was including you in all that he was saying. “Step down a bit, Y/N. You’re fifteen, and you’ve just lost your mother. Allow yourself some time to be looked after. Your dad’s here, Joey’s here, I’m here. We’re all here, and we’re more than capable of looking after you lot by ourselves, okay?”

“But… but what about the girls?” you asked, still sobbing. “They lost Mom, and now they come to me with a lot of things… I feel as though I’m responsible for them.”

Jesse frowned. Somehow, that made sense. He could understand why you’d let D.J. and Steph hug him first; because you believed they’d needed it more than you did. And, of course, it seemed to be only natural that they’d go to you… you were the only other woman in their life, now, and things they felt as though they couldn’t go to their father to, they would go to you. He figured that would feel more like an honour to you if you weren’t so crowded by all these other responsibilities you’d added on unwillingly. He shook his head. “Honey, you’re not responsible for the girls. We are. Yes, they lost their mom, and they may sometimes need you there for them, but do not, under any circumstances, feel as though you don’t deserve as much support as them. Though they may be younger, you’ve lost the exact same as they have. It’s hard on all of you, not just Steph and Deej. Don’t feel afraid to come to any of us if you’re ever feeling down; like I said, that’s what we’re here for, okay? Got it? Capiche?”

It didn’t take you long to absorb everything he’d said. Truthfully, you’d been waiting and longing for someone to say those words simply so you could stop wearing yourself out and actually truly believe that this wasn’t what your mother meant when she’d asked you to help around the house. Her death did not require you to take the role as matriarch of the family. Her death did not mean you had to give up your life to care for your sisters and your father. Her death did not mean you had to replace her. Swallowing thickly, you nodded, sniffling. “Capiche.”

Jesse smiled. “Alright,” he said. “Come here and give your Uncle Jesse a hug.” He moved both hands to hold you at your sides and lift you up into a sitting position, pulling you onto his lap where you leant down and wrapped both arms around him, nestling your head into the crook of his neck. You couldn’t help but breathe a laugh when he continued. “And, yeah, I said ‘Uncle,” he admonished, “’cause no matter how old you get, I’ll always be your Uncle Jesse. Even if you’re eighty-five and I’m ninety-four, hobbling around with a walking stick, I’ll still be able to catch you if you miss out that word.” He rose an eyebrow as you turned your head up to him with a soft smile, chin still resting on his upper chest, and he mirrored it almost immediately, reaching a hand up to tuck a few stray strands of hair behind your ear. “I love you so much, Bug,” he said, shaking his head slightly.

Your smile widened. “I love you too, Uncle Jess.” It was silent for a moment, the only sound being the faint voices of Joey and Michelle upstairs and the occasional sniffle which emanated from you. Jesse’s hand was cradling the back of your head as you lay on him, ear pressed to his chest, the soft thump, thump, thump of his heart almost lulling you to sleep. “I don’t think you’ve ever actually told me why you call me that.”

“Hm?”

“Well, is it ‘cause you wanna kill me?”

Jesse lifted his head from yours and furrowed both eyebrows. “What kinda question is that?”

“You’re an exterminator,” you said with a shrug, the corners of your lips curving upwards, “you kill bugs and rodents and pests for a living. A little ironic that you call me ‘Bug’, right?”

The man rolled his eyes and leaned back, staring at you unamusedly. “Ha, ha,” he said, voice utterly emotionless, “very funny.”

“So… it’s not because you want to kill me?“ You yelped as Jesse growled lowly before grabbing you and turning you over, pushing you back on the couch and hovering over you. He shook his head as you lay there, panting from the sudden exhilaration, giggles moving past your lips every once in a while. Reaching out, he cupped the left side of your face with one hand and smiled.

“I remember seeing you for the first time,” he said. “Danny called my parents up the moment Pam went into labour, and by the time we reached the hospital, there you were. A little baby munchkin, wrapped up in the same white blanket all your siblings were swaddled in the moment they were born, those huge eyes staring up at your mama as she held you. I came in, and she immediately passed you into my arms, and, lemme tell you something, kid… I have never been in such awe since then. I was nine years old, and I had a niece already – can’t even tell you how much I bragged about that at school.” You laughed, and his smile widened. “Honestly, I think at the time I started calling you ‘Bug’ because it just sounded sweet, and, come on, I was nine, don’t blame me for not coming up with something better…” You giggled at that, staring up at him with those exact same eyes he remembered gazing into fifteen years ago. “But, then, as you got older, it got to the point that you just wouldn’t stop following me around everywhere. Whether you were crawling, or toddling, you followed after me like a damn shadow. So, ‘Bug’ proved to be kinda fitting in the end.”

You frowned. “How?”

“Because you were irritating, and I couldn’t get rid of you.”

Mouth falling open in both surprise and offense, you reached up and lightly punched your uncle’s shoulder. He laughed, pearly white teeth showing as he grinned and ruffled your hair. “I’m kidding. You know I love getting attention from girls, no matter how little they are.” A wink was thrown in your direction and you rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you did so. Of course he would say something like that. You redirected your attention as Jesse lowered himself a little, somehow tucking in next to you on the couch and leaning on his elbow. Tentatively, he pressed a kiss to your temple, and when he raised his head back up again, that small smile was still there. “Whatever the reason I call you that, it doesn’t matter. All that does matter, is the fact that it’s something special between just me and you. You’re my first ever niece, my Bug, my Buggy, Bugsy, Buggo, Bug-a-boo-” He chuckled as you breathed a laugh, the long list of names derived from the original nickname all having been directed at you at least once in your lifetime- “and you’re my entire world, babe. You and your sisters mean everything to me, just as you do your dad, and just as you did your mom.”

Your face fell the slightest bit at the mention of your mother, but the warm look on Jesse’s face was enough to not let you linger on it for too long. His words had caused your heart to melt the tiniest bit and the smallest amount of tears to return to your still-red eyes once again, yet the smile on your face held them back. “And you’re my world, too,” you said. “Though I still think you call me Bug because you wanna stick one of those gas things in my room and-”

You heard the growl again, and Jesse leapt into action, moving so he was hovering over you once more and wasting no time in digging his fingers into the sensitive skin of your sides. “Stop quizzing me on my own nickname!” he roared playfully, your giggles immediately filling his ears.

“Buhut it’s my nihihihihihicknahahame!” you squealed, attempting to roll off the couch. Your uncle trained his devilish fingers up to your stomach as you did that, rendering you weak and defenceless again so your attempts were utterly futile. He scoffed at your words, shaking his head and tutting.

“You know what I mean, crazy lady.”

“HEHEHEY! UHUHUHUNCLE JEHEHESEEHEEHEEHEE!” Tears were now pooling in your eyes for a totally different reason, yet you couldn’t help but bask in what was most likely the happiest time you’d had since the death of your mother. Jesse was grinning and chuckling almost evilly, apparently in full tickle monster mode as he lingered over your squirming body, tickling wherever his fingers could reach. After a few seconds, he quickly moved his head down, pushed up your shirt and blew a loud raspberry right over your belly button. “AHHHHHAHAHA!” you practically screamed, and the man looked up, resting his chin on your stomach and poising his hands at your ribs.

“What do we say?” he asked expectantly, laughter evident in his voice. You lay, panting, attempting to regain both your breath and composure, but it didn’t last long as your uncle wiggled his fingers again and you fell back into a pit of giggles. “What do we saaaaay?”

“HAHAHAHAHAVE MERCYYYYYYYYYY!”

Jesse laughed. “Alright,” he said, pressing a kiss to your quivering stomach and snorting when your residual giggles rose an octave simply at that. “God, you’re adorable,” he said, grinning up at you, and you somehow managed to roll your eyes between the contagious smiles and laughter before shuffling back and sitting up. You leaned against the couch, shutting your eyes, mouth parted slightly and hair a dishevelled mess.

“Not,” you managed to breathe out.

Jesse rolled over and sat up, the corners of his lips still curving upwards. He turned to look at you. “Oh, you so are, Bug-a-boo. Come here.” He reached over and snagged your arm, pulling you over to him and letting you drape yourself across his lap. He glanced over at the clock on the wall. “Your dad and the girls will be home soon,” he told you, pushing hair back from your face, and you nodded.

“I think I owe him a hug,” you said quietly, and you felt his chest rumble with a chuckle.

“He’d like that. Joseph, too.”

“Deej has science homework to do… do you think Dad’ll help her?”

“Of course he will.” The man gave you a look, one that was a mixture between worry that you’d revert back to busying yourself, and pride for the step you were taking towards normality. “And, if he’s too busy, I will. Or Joey. There are three adults available for her. You can stay here and watch the movie I taped for you the other day, or do something that doesn’t involve your sisters and the house.”

You made a face, glancing over at the TV. “What movie is it?”

“Uh, some romance, I think,” he said. “Danny said you like those sorta things.”

“Will you watch it with me?”

Jesse smiled. “Will I have to tie you to me to stop you from running off every time Michelle cries?”

You shook your head, sitting up and resuming your place on your uncle’s lap, leaning against him and tucking your head under his chin. “No, I think I’m good.”

“I’ll watch it, then. How are you feeling now, huh?” He craned his head a little to see you, and you turned your own to smile faintly at him.

“Better.” And, honestly? You did. Somehow, you felt that this discussion wouldn’t have gone down the way it had if it’d been Joey or your father that you were talking to. Despite what people said, Jesse really did have a way with kids, especially if that kid was his own flesh and blood, and most definitely if that kid was the one person on Earth which he felt he had a relationship with like no other, including his other three nieces. He guessed it was something about being the firstborn.

“Atta girl.” Jesse kissed the top of your head and rubbed your back, the two of you sitting in silence for a little while, just relishing in each other’s company.

Sure, Pam was gone, but she had left behind four of the most beautiful gifts of all, and Jesse couldn’t help but silently thank her, wherever she was, for giving him a bigger purpose in his life.

There’s nothing I love more then a powerful jaskier au but I’m also extremely fond of when jaskier gets to be an oblivious idiot (geralt can’t hog that title all of the time)

So hear me out, jaskier with magic, but also a jaskier that is in extreme denial about having magic

geralt knew jaskier wasn’t completely human a week after meeting him. He didn’t smell quite right, there was always a slight tinge of ozone under his natural scent, something that felt like raw untapped power

his medallion didn’t vibrate though, so he knew the bard wasn’t a monster. He waited for the other shoe to drop, for jaskier to finally reveal whatever the hell the bard was. Months and months go by, and eventually years and still…… nothing.

geralt watches as the flower crowns jaskier makes never wilt, how the sun shines brighter when he laughs, how people seem to bend over backwards when jaskier smiles hard enough, and how the forest itself seems to create paths for him to walk down, how the road wouldn’t dare to lay a rock in his merry way

it isn’t until they’re in the middle of a bandit attack off the path and geralt watches as the bandit creeping behind jaskier is thrown into a tree with a sickening crack, and the man threatening jaskier with a sword suddenly screams in pain as the metal turns red hot, giving geralt the time he needs to cut the man down, the scent of burned flesh lingering in the hair

jaskier turns to him, a relieved smile on his face, and geralt thinks this is the moment, there’s no denying this, and jaskier just makes some comment about how lucky he was that it was hot out today, and can you imagine how that could have gone if it was fall?

and then geralt realizes, 

oh.

jaskier is just a fucking idiot

an idiot who is so convinced of his own humanity that he denies any and all of the signs pointing towards just the opposite

signs like how jaskier always seems to know what geralt needs before he knows it himself

random weird instructions like, make sure you bring an extra vial of Swallow, which comes in handy when swamp water makes the first vial slip right through his hand to smash on the ground or a “don’t forget your cloak” on a perfectly sunny day that turns to a downpour as he trudges back to the inn

all of these instances continue through the years, years that don’t seem to affect jaskier as geralt silently adds possible immortality to his list of “weird things jaskier can apparently do”

eventually when yennefer and ciri join them on their travels, other people are finally privy to jaskier’s powers

yennefer directs a questioning eyebrow toward geralt when the dead bird they stumbled upon twitches to life in jaskier’s hands and flies away. 

later that night geralt tells yennefer about all the instances of magic that have surrounded jaskier since they’ve been traveling together

the only thing yennefer can think of is that it must be fey blood, it’s the only explanation that makes sense of all of the raw power

ciri joins the ranks of People Baffled By Jaskier’s Obliviousness when she watches jaskier glare a field of flowers into full bloom and then remark on the power of positive reinforcement because, look ciri!

these instances continue

a perfectly sunny day turns into a downpour when geralt accidentally insults jaskier’s outfit

valdo marx conveniently has an intimate run in with a ditch after crossing paths with them on the road

a tavern bar catches on fire after the owner refused to serve geralt

it all comes to a head when nilfgaardian soldiers manage to corner them in the mountains. Geralt is cutting down soldiers left and right, yennefer is shooting spell after spell. but its obvious they are tiring with so many soldiers, and they are in a space too small for ciri to scream without hurting any of her family

jaskier doesn’t know what’s happening, one second they’re being overwhelmed, and he feels a sensation boiling up in his chest, engulfing his body and growing bigger and bigger with his desperation and he just wants everything to stop and suddenly he feels a need to push out and he closes his eyes and thrusts his hands forward, and everything is….. quiet?

he opens his eyes and he sees geralt and ciri and yen all gaping at him and jaskier looks around and sees frost stretching out from his feet, and ice enveloping all of the soldiers, freezing them in place. there’s neat circles of grass surrounding each member of his family but the frost clinging to his fingertips leaves no doubt about who was the cause of this sudden onslaught of snow.

the bard brushes his hands off on his pants, and makes a small show of straightening his clothes before he looks back at his companions, still staring at him in awe.

“well, that’s new”

yennefer lets loose a loud laugh shocked from her in disbelief, followed by the little giggles of ciri

the bruise geralt leaves on his own forehead after facepalming doesn’t go away for three days   

(insp.)

Jaskier, removing his multicoloured heart shaped shades: I beg your fucking pardon??

Just your daily reminders:

Racists are a problem

White people are not

Homophobes are a problem

Straight people are not

Transphobes are a problem

Cis people are not

Sexists are a problem

Men are not

And most importantly,

Hating an innocent person solely because of their race, sexuality, or gender makes you a fucking asshole

Greasy hair bros.

I’m scared that they’re hiding Jaskier because they aged him up and want it to be a surprise. Just let him be inexplicably immortal you cowards!

you ever just think about how this is how these two idiots met

Me: *thinking I’d be an amazing warrior if I ever stepped foot into a medieval fantasy world*

Versus me if I actually ever stepped foot into a medieval fantasy world:

The minecraft peeps (the creeps) look so friend shaped...

Like look at him... wow... what a little guy

He’s the ketchup to Seb’s fries

@nk-writes

Me writing fics. 😂😂

no write only daydream

gideon: i have made the perfect profiler

hotch: you screwed up a perfectly good child prodigy is what you did. look at it. it’s got anxiety

I can’t be the only who went StANd OuT AbOve the CrOwd 😎👍

This fanfic I’m never going to write is really damn good.

reblog if you've ever read fanfiction from a fandom you're not a part of or for a show/movie you've never seen

Okay, but this couldn’t be more me.

Some twitter memes. Again

Tumblr Code.

petition to rename intruloceit to receipt

Oh gawd every time you think it's over it gers BETTER

🙌🏻 🙌🏻 🙌🏻 🙌🏻