Latest Posts by wasted-life-musings - Page 2

The only good cops a dead cop

Even the most courageous among us only rarely has the courage to face what he already knows.

Nietzsche

https://www.youtube.com/embed/OwBNsXLfiik

“ Breath of the Streets “

Concerning Politics

One of my favorite books, “ No Longer Human “ by Osamu Dazai was written in 1930s Japan, during which his drinking buddy, Horiki, brought him to a secret communist meeting, thereafter horiki never showed up again, and he did it out of whatever reason, but he made a comment that the communist movement was mostly right, and so obvious it didnt merit discussion, much like debating 2+2 equaling 4, and thats where America is at, Trump supporters, are retards, people against trump, are retards for trying to sway the retards behind him, and i dont really give a shit what you think on the matter, if you can be sold so cheaply you should be counted a moron, regardless which side it is you defend, its simple 2+2 to anyone with a mind.

Nietzsche once said “ Distrust in all those whom the urge to punish is strong “ and youd be hard pressed to find a more true statement, not that im OVERLY intellectual but i have my moments, and the more you know the less you know, and if you think otherwise you dont know.  Not that im defending neo Nazis like trump but, as Nietzsche also says

“ the poison which weakens the weaker nature strengthens the stronger, and he doesn’t call it poison, either.  We’ve, since our inception as “culture(s) have backed one horse or another blindly, any real political mind, I think, will tell you theres no way to totally fix anything, light beats the dark, but dark beats the light as often, we are in a limbo of fates between the smug and the moronic and which prevails isnt a testament of right or wrong, but rather, which particular power can flex the most at any given point, everything you have thought, think, or will think is a lie and until you understand this basic fact, you will never understand anything at all...

The moon had risen behind him, the color of a shark's underbelly. It lit the ruined walls, and the skin of his arms and hands, with its sickly light, making him long for a mirror in which to study his face. Surely he'd be able to see the bones beneath the meat; the skull gleaming the way his teeth gleamed when he smiled. After all, wasn't that what a smile said? Hello, world, this is the way I'll look when the wet parts are rotted.

Clive Barker, The Great and Secret Show

“The Quiet Vessel” by Bryan Olson

...She rambled on, but I have never been able to get interested when women talk about themselves, it may be because women are so inept at telling a story ( That is, because they place the emphasis in the wrong places ) or for some other reason. In any case I have always turned a deaf ear. " " I feel so unhappy " " I am sure that this one phrase whispered to me would arouse my sympathy more than the longest, most painstaking account of a womans life. It amazes and astonishes me that i have never once heard a woman make this simple statement. " "...something like a silent current of misery an inch wide flowed over the surface of her body. When I lay next to her my body was enveloped in her current, which mingled with my own harsher current of gloom like ' a withered leaf settling to rest on the stones at the bottom of a pool ' I had freed myself from fear and uneasiness. "

Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human

Lately I'm reading literature from 1930's Japan, I'm reading 1960's scifi, im reading 1800s philosophy and Ill tell ya a funny thing about it, nothing has changed, and probably nothing will change

Chi non beve in compagnia o e un ladro, e una spia, He who doesnt drink in company is either a thief or a spy

Addiction is bullshit, i cant stress this point enough.  We all love being high, hell thats what orgasms are all about, but you dont need anythin besides foodair and shelter.  When you’re coming down youre not really feeling withdrawels, thats the futility of reality setting back in, and the boredom you feel thereafter is what life really is.  We’re mammals that live far past when we should, and it fucks up our too evolved/not evolve enough brains.  You can stop anything you want to stop, but if youre stopping only because some other ape tellsyou you should well then you deserve all the pain that should bring, and if you stop of your own volition, then you should consider your suffering enlightenment, but rest assured life gets no better after.

I'm left in misery, the girl I love's gone across the sea I'm all alone, I ain't got no home

Mandy was her name, sleepin' was her game She didn't care about me oh God, baby can't you see

I'm a lonely boy, I'm a lonely boy....

oh ive been there...

And the road was like a ribbon, and the moon was like a bone.

When I was young, 7-13 maybe i fought at the drop of a hat.  then after a few random ass whoopings I found a slight fear, not that it stopped me.  At 30, I now have zero fear.  Thats not true really, it is so to say that at this point, i dont value life enough to fear losing it, and Im not a dangerous, or even a violent person, but in a way I am.  It scares me, this isnt me trying to be tough to an empty audience on my dead tumblr, this is a real musing.  My opponent scares me, any opponent, not because im afraid of them, but because im afraid of what ill do, of what I may become. 

As a child I would shake in conflicts, i would cry, and it was never fear, it was always the same emotion less articulated.  I’m a bit of a drunk as I’ve made clear, and i get into barfights often, something im neither ashamed nor proud of, but i will say I win usually not out of an unjustified sense of self worth, or that im that strong or smart ( which really im quite a bit of both ) but because i wont let anyone take anything from me, coming from and still having nothing.

People often give me shit for hating addicts or whatever, life is all about beating yourself, when you fear another, when you only think of blocking and not of attack you will never land a blow, if you fear another its because you dont fear yourself enough, others are of minimal consequence. 

Fear another and you lose yourself, fear yourself and you discover yourself, fear opposition in either forum and you lose, fear not, and you win, but you still lose, it comes down to if you want to die by another hand or by your own.

Fear no evil, but fear the evil in yourself

Here’s a song I posted awhile ago, these are random people doing it, but this is probably CLOSER to the original 1800s version of the song.  Little Pretty Anna...

I legit am envious of people who drugs and the procurement therein are their biggest problems in life.  You know they did a long term study on junkies(heroin), and found the ones who didnt die of heroin overdose, after 20, 25 years got super bored with junk and just stopped.  THAT’S the real struggle, the drug, the withdrawal, thats nothing compared to the life after, the boredom, the sleepless nights, the regret of past mistakes, the contemplation of a futureless future, the realization that you’re not special, you’re not a victim of circumstance or of substance, you’re just lazy and selfish.

Drugs are the least of your worries, life is the true horror, and life kills you like no other thing, the very oxygen you breathe destroys your cells, the gravity that holds you to earth damages your organs, the food and water you take in slowly erodes you, the shit that backs up in you festers and eats you, the germs all around you tax your immune system so long eventually it gives up.  Do drugs, dont do drugs, it really doesn’t matter, it’s all contingent on which way you want to die, and how slow you want to do it, and thats a personal choice that has nothing to do with popular opinion

Concerning the Death Penalty and Incarceration in General

You don't kill someone to teach them not to kill. You don’t call prison rehabilitation while being nothing but detrimental to said people, you dont lock up people for next to nothing, etc.Some people cant be saved, and yes locking them up for life is expensive, but not as expensive as youd think ( the average prisoner in the usa costs 90 cents a day to feed and house ) Humans change and redemption IS life, then again I'm a Buddhist.Some humans are in jail and do nothing but suffer, some take to the life, and thrive in jail, and enjoy life in their own way, is it punishment, whos to say, but in my mind youre average human can and will change, and what about all the people imprisoned and then found innocent years later?

if you kill them you cant take that back.  No to the death penalty, and on a personal note I think MOST, not all, MOST criminal activity should be taken from a psychological or economic standpoint, most these people are poor uneducated and angry for, obvious reasons, and should be treated as mentally ill and not criminal and evil, back any animal into a corner and it lashes out, that’s not to say that animal cant love and be loved, cant show compassion or understand it, etc.

We all love justification but my stance is, if you kill in need, lets say you are starving and you kill and eat an animal, you didnt kill it because you wanted to, infact if youre a “normal” person you probably felt a little bad.  if something is trying to kill you, you kill it out of instinct and feel bad later, thats justified.  If you’re in jail for like drug charges for 15 years and have to do violent things to survive, lets say you have to stab someone so youre not stabbed, etc, and time is added on, now youre in for 20 years, etc, that doesnt make you violent or bad, we all do what we have to do, when you take small time criminals and put them in the wolves den, yes they come out as wolves, repeat that process and eventually theyre such killers you need to kill them in some legal way, was it ever about them?

and at what point is the society held responsible?  In the west we’re very about the individual, as am I really, but push an individual enough and you shape him like clay, do you then get to judge the shape hes in, which youve created?  forget i said anything, talk about your favorite shows or, show you smokin a crack piple with your cleavage in the backround, i like that too....

When you’re lonely, you seek people.  You find people, you compromise, you sell your good traits and pretend the bad arent there, an vice versa.  When you reach a certain point, you dont care anymore and all your relationships fail, and then you’re lonely for a long time, and then you hook up out of desperation with excuses therein as to why you arent desperate.

And of course those relationships fail, because theyre more about your own problems and less about the people involved therein.  Then you stop caring, and die.  Some people do this quicker than others.  We all start as hot love affairs and end as roomates with benefits, yet we all waste so much time on it.

Id say Humans are 45% concerned with love, 45% concerned with highs, be it drugs or overeating or whatever, 5% regret, and 5% coercive optimism.  Maybe if we all stopped lying to ourselves and eachother we could get somewhere..i mean, did you SEE the new walking dead, how amazing, this is a life well spent, the big bang theory, hahahaha, he said  something sorta nerdy and there was a laugh track! hahahaha, im gonna eat some popcorn, pretend to read a book to appeal to hipsters, then check my many online dating profiles for a hit, this is me spending my life well, this is me, progressing....

Women led me on only to throw me aside; they mocked and tortured me when others were around, only to embrace me with passion after everyone had left.  Women sleep so soundly they seem to be dead, who knows?  Women may live in order to sleep....No matter how long I went on with my antics they would ask for more, and I would become exhausted responding to their insatiable demands for encores.  They really laugh an amazing amount of the time, I suppose one can say that women stuff themselves with far more pleasure than men.

Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human

“ Jimmy’s teacher was very annoyed, he gave Jimmy the cane, he shared his syringe with a class full of boys, now they all want the same, heroin heroin, and cocaine, heroin heroin and cocaine... “

I love these new DNA testing sites they have, I should really drop the 80 bucks.  But these videos of like, skinheads finding out theyre jews, or white supremacists finding out they’re 18% subsaharan african is just, wonderful.  Not just because its funny but because math doesnt lie, and it’s hard to say it lies.

Really ALL humans are SOME african, but these tests dont go THAT far back.  I watched a video of Irish people taking these tests, and they came back as youd guess if you know history, brittish/irish, spanish, and middle eastern.  Germans/Scandinavians often come up 78-80% western european, and then some middle eastern or Indian.  I’m interested to know but I’m also poor, so I will guess, based on no actual science other than the videos ive seen of people with my general ancestry and roots:

70-75% Western European

10% Middle Eastern

5% Italian/Iberian ( Spanish )

5% Native American

5% Other.

Now when I break down and buy the test, which lets be honest i probably will, I’ll site this and see how close I am.