Art

Jeremy is not allowed to watch Game of Thrones until he apologizes for laughing at me when Lady died.

Jeremy: NOW we can sing Christmas songs!

Me: Yes. After Thanksgiving is the appropriate time to sing them.

Jeremy: After Halloween is the appropriate time!

Me: I am not about to have this conversation again.

Jeremy: I know you don't technically have emotions- Me: There's no technically about that statement. Jeremy: Okay, so I know you don't have emotions. Knowing that, how come you still roll your eyes and sigh in frustration and things like that when I do something stupid? Me: Annoyance and frustration are universal languages that even binary can translate. Jeremy: So for you it's literally a state of being. Me: Yes. When I say, "I'm frustrated," I mean it literally. Jeremy: Like a chameleon! Me: *attempting not to shock him for that awful comparison* Yes... very much like... a... chameleon..

I HAVE BEEN BLESSED

Tumblr Code.

Sometimes I wish that the vodka I drink was real because I cannot deal with Jeremy

Jeremy has managed to go through a ten-minute time period without becoming an incoherent mess while on a date with Christine. 

This is a huge improvement.

reblog game where you #cancel the previous person for something completely arbitrary

I have determined that my costume will be Lindsay from Destination Wedding because a) Winona Ryder and b) alcohol.

Here’s your daily reminder that Squipemy is fucking abusive and triggering to abuse victims!

Stop acting like you’re the victims here because people hate your abusive ship!

“When’s Bisexual Awareness Day?” “September 23 but the whole month is Bisexual Awareness Month.” “...Don’t come into your room for a few hours, okay?” “Did you get the day wrong again?” “Yeah.” “Thanks though. What’d you get this year?”

Me: A unicorn jelly bean dispenser from Amazon.

*silence*

“...She told you didn’t she.”

“Yeah.”

“COME ON!!!!”